Equine Necroflogging

I'm feeling selfish at the moment. I have a mad compulsion to be truthful in the same manner as to break up an otherwise happy marriage. I want to lay it on the line, and tell my wife that last month at her birthday party, I fucked her 20 year old sister in the bathroom at the strip club. I'm sorry, dear, but I can't continue with this burden of guilt hanging over me. I feel that it would be unfair to proceed under false pretenses, and I want to afford you the opportunity to decide our fate.

Not to beat a dead horse, I want the Suns to go full bore at Kevin Garnett. I want to see a front line of KG, Amare Stoudemire, and Grant Hill leading the Suns to the championship this season. Any regular to this blog knows of my man crush on Shawn Marion for his versatility and defense, but I think that the shooting and passing that KG brings is worth the sacrifice of all Marion's talents, luxury tax be damned.

Robert Sarver is an outsider of sorts to Phoenicians, despite his ties to the University of Arizona and Lute Olsen. He needs to understand exactly what this team means to those of us who have suffered years of disappointment and missed opportunities, which means that he needs to acknowledge that the organization as a whole owes it to us to bring an NBA title to the valley.

He is a fan just like the rest of us, so I hope he understands just how much he owes it to himself, on behalf of all of us long-suffering Suns faithful, to consider sacrificing a cherished piece of the current Suns line up for a greater good. I know that Matrix deserves a championship more than any of us, which is the sad irony of it all, but i warned that I am feeling selfish.

I'm sorry, Sweetheart, I'm in love with your sister.

I love you too much as a fan, Shawn, to be so disloyal as to consider cheating on you, let alone replacing you. It's just something I think about in the shower when you're away for three months, and I need a basketball fix. I just work through the scenario in my mind over and over again as the steaming water washes over my back until the tension can be released.

Although, I do wonder if you have ever fantasized about Jack Nicholson or Spike Lee sitting next to the visitor's bench.

We all have our fantasies.