I Didn't Vote for Him

I had to wait until it was all over before I could speak on it. The Cleveland Cavaliers defeated the Detroit Pistons in game six of the Eastern Conference Finals last night to go on to the NBA Finals against San Antonio. Finally I can talk about the King, LeBron James.

The King.

LeBron James.

King James.

My ass.

I was seething inside all day Friday, biting my tongue whenever the urge to spout off about the 48 point game started burrowing out of my head. Suddenly everyone felt validated. Doubters changed their tune on a dime. LeBron jock rockers screamed "I TOLD YOU SO" in harmonic unison. And I sat there and took it. I waited because I had a feeling. I waited because I felt that I would have the last laugh.

Here is a sampling of the headlines and main story titles on the corporate sports network today.

Main Page Headline: Rock On, Cleveland
Photo Caption: Daniel Gibson's 19 fourth-quarter points helped put the Pistons away.

NBA Front Page Headline: Boobie Prized
Photo Caption: Gibson, who scored 19 points in the fourth, celebrates the Cavs' win.

AP Article Headline: Gibson's 31 points, James' balanced play puts Cavs in NBA Finals

Long live the king, indeed. The story of the decisive game is not LeBron's 3-11 shooting performance or disappearance in yet another fourth quarter. It is a rookie point guard, Daniel Gibson, who was in and out of the line up all year long, who stepped up to score 31 points - 19 of them in the fourth quarter of what had been a 1 point game entering the period.

A day earlier, the basketball loving world was talking about LeBron James and his MVP-like performance in the pivotal game five. He took over. He bullied his way through the Pistons. He was being compared to Jordan and Magic. With one performance, he finally could receive his coronation. He earned his crown.

For perspective, consider that LeBron's previous great playoff achievement that had people comparing him to Michael Jordan came a year ago against Washington. Gilbert Arenas stepped to the line for a pair of crunch time free throws that James apparently talked him into missing. How Jordan-esque. He got into Arenas' head. Before he ever had a playoff performance worth speaking about, James' top moment came defending the free throw line.

Even when he had a good game three (32-9-9) this year, people were still talking about whether or not LeBron should have taken the last shot in game two instead of passing to Donyell Marshall for the three.

James showed up for one quarter and two overtime periods of one game, and suddenly it really WAS LeBron's world. Two days later, after securing the team's first NBA Finals appearance ever, Cleveland's big story is Daniel freakin' Gibson. Sure, LeBron's statsheet-filling 20-14-8-2-2 will satisfy the congregation. But I wonder if his nineteen free throw attempts were the result of aggressive basketball or simply the benefit of the Jordan-Wade rule. Everyone on the Cavs without the name Gibson on their jerseys scored 12 points in the fourth, and I wonder how many of those were scored by James.

I'm not sold, and I never will be.

LeBron James is nothing more than the NBA's new brand of marketing. He's an actor playing a basketball superstar in real life. Watch him play. Watch his commercials. He does his best Jordan/Magic/Kobe impression whenever the opportunity arises. Upon landing from a slam dunk through an open lane in the first quarter of game four, LeBron stopped and posed for the baseline cameras. A playoff game. Eastern Conference Finals. FIRST QUARTER.

Is this kid playing to win, or is he putting on a show for the cameras? He enjoys his camera time too much, and he has no idea the right move to make when it really matters in a big game. He doesn't understand that real life games are not the same as the edited versions he's seen on clip shows and White Men Can't Jump. The shots finally fell in game five, and the marketing machine that created him - the same one that has been soiling its collective Pampers as LeBron continues to fail to live up to their hype - proudly anointed him King...again.

A little more perspective. This is the same LeBron James who could not carry his team in a close out game at home against a New Jersey team that scored all of six points in the fourth quarter.

I think that the best thing about everything is that the NBA playoffs are lower than just about every televised sporting event right now. So not only did no one see this magnificent performance by James in game five of the Eastern Conference Finals, no one is really hearing the media bang their tin cups against the iron bars, either.

Congratulations, guys. You are the trees falling in an isolated forest.