Mama Called Him Smush, I'ma Call Him Smush

It seems that LA's defensive intensity has picked up, and the ball has yet to be tossed at mid-court to open the first round match up between the Lakers and Suns. Apparently hoping to gain a psychological edge, reports out of the Los Angeles area would have us believe that the Lakers are quite confident and comfortable entering the playoffs.

Former Suns back court temp, Smush Parker, hasn't learned a thing after arrogantly predicting an upset last April. (To be fair, he was right in a sense, as the Lakers choked away a 3-1 series lead. I'd be upset, too, if I let that happen to me.) But seriously now, there is an awful lot of barking coming out of Phil Jackson's doghouse.

We just let last year's series slip through our fingertips and we know it. This year we won't let that happen. It would be nice if we got up 3-1 this year and we finished them off.

Rather presumptuous, don't you think, Smushie? Someone with a more global perspective, such as myself, would attribute it more to a Karmic balancing act, considering that the 3-1 lead was the result of inept officiating. Had Bennett Salvatore not had his head in the moon (his own, not the one in the sky), game 4 would not have turned with the 6'3" Nash going up against the 6'8" Luke Walton for a jump ball in the waning seconds with the Suns holding onto a one point lead.

As Coach D'Antoni pointed out after the game 7 ass whoopin' -- a THIRTY TWO POINT ass whoopin' -- it was the first time in playoff history that a team had to win 5 out of 7 games to take a series.

And that was without Amare Stoudemire and Kurt Thomas checking the Lakers' inept, inexperienced, incompetent bigs. So now that the Suns have a bigger, stronger, hungrier, deeper team, the little Laker has even MORE confidence than last year. Forget the fact that LA's front line is hurting...badly. Lamar Odom is still recovering from a torn left labrum, Kwame Brown is even more ineffective than usual as he struggles with a bruised ankle, and the aforementioned Smush Parker is fighting everything from hurt pride to bruised ego.

Even Jack Nicholson can't be so blinded by the bright lights of Hollywood, that he thinks the Lakers have a snowball's chance on a Phoenix freeway. (I could be wrong on that, as I haven't heard from Jack in weeks.)

Phil Jackson isn't so sure, either, as he walked away from the Lakers final practice yesterday less than thrilled with his team's focus, commenting, "We'll be out of this series in four games."

Of course, this could all be part of the Zen Master's psychological attack. This could all be for show, a way to get the Suns guards to lower their rifles, and to start an internal attention-seeking brawl in the front court. Who knows, anymore? Any time Phil says anything questionable these days, people chalk it up to strategy.

I'm not buying it, though. The proof is in the games missed due to injury, as well as the back-door slide the Lakers took even to get into the playoffs. They were so bad down the stretch that even Golden State and in-arena rivals, the Clippers, were both challenging to take over the Lakers' spot in the post-season.

So let the games begin, I guess. Let the Laker bulletin board be filled with page after page of quotes from ":07 Seconds or Less". Let the Lakers talk trash and boost their own self-confidence. As Steve Nash said, "You can try to fire a guy up, but it's not going to change his game."

Nor is it going to heal Odom's shoulder and Kwame's ankle.

Whatever. Let's just get this formality of a first round over with so that we can get ourselves hyped up for the REAL playoffs to begin.

Hey, Smush. San Antonio called. Denver will meet you on Santa Monica Pier a week from tomorrow. Wait by the Ferris wheel. Oh...and Tim Duncan is laughing at you from the bench.