Suns-Lakers Round 1, Game 1

Pregame

I'm going to do my impression of azcentral's Fanboy and do an in game play-by-play entry, only with spell check and better grammar. Here's hoping it works.

ABC wants us to believe that this series is going to be a mirror image of last season's first round, showing tons of clips of elbows and clotheslines and Nash getting into Kobe's face. But they didn't bother to show images of Kobe and Raja laughing and talking during games this season. Amare Stoudemire stands somewhat firm on his prediction that the series will definitely not go 7 games, hopefully, maybe, probably.

Jon Barry and Michael Wilbon can't decide whether or not the Lakers would make the playoffs with another star in Kobe's place, but seem to believe the Suns would be a 7 seed without Nash in the mix.

Marion politely allows Kobe first crack at the sticky pad in front of the scorer's table. Yeah...this is going to be a heated match up.

1st Quarter

10:35 Amare wins the tip, Raja Bell gathers and misses his first three. Kobe misses, too, but Nash's stroke looks pure. Suns defense holds for 22 seconds before Junior bails out Kobe with a foul. Amare gives Farmar an open layup, then Nash gets fouled at the basket. At the foul line, the chants of "MVP!" begin. Nash is gold from the line.

8:30 Marion hits his first three. Good sign. Lakers running ragged on defense, and don't look much better on the other end. Junior's shot off. Suns running at every opportunity. Bell gets no help defense. Nash's bounce pass goes between Amare's legs. Not a way to live up to your prediction, Stat. Suddenly things look sloppy.

7:11 Marion already has 4 rebounds, but Nash's passes aren't finding their mark as the Lakers deflect everything. Kobe gets a ticky-tack And one, and begins to heat up. Amare gets manhandled in the paint. First time out as Amare makes the first of two free throws.

Commercials suck as usual. Mike Breen comes back to D'Antoni's quotes from McCallum's book. Mike having to defend himself...how pointless. YOU'RE GROWN MEN! SUCK IT UP!

5:06 Amare makes the second freebie. Good boy. Kobe hits a fall away, and Amare's midrange shot is off. Suns still not communicating on defense, and the Suns are down 2. Make that 4. Marion jacks up a three for some reason, then Junior blocks Kobe. It's a foul, though, because it's Kobe. Expect LB to come in. Kobe misses the first, but makes the second.

3:15 Welcome to the game, LB and Diaw. Diaw promptly shuffles his feet and gets called for the travel. Suns aren't focused. Amare gets the dish from Le Borees, as well as the home bounce. OHHHH!!! Pretty feed to Kwame from Kobe, but a better block from Amare! Suns just can't hit the net. It's rim-rocking basketball, but not the good kind. 20-15, LA.

1:49 Suns need to take the ball inside. Sticky Ball again. Boris lets Farmar out jump him for the rebound of a missed three by LB. Nash doesn't let Odom have the rebound on the other end for free. TV timeout.

So Miller Lite expects us to believe that they've won awards at the World Beer Cup. Follow the beer commercial with On Star and Prilosec featuring NASCAR. Subliminal messages? Driving under the influence? Mark Jackson would be dizzy with all Kobe's spin moves.

0:00 Bynum shoots over Kurt, and this is getting ugly. Marion hits air on a right handed baby hook. As expected, KT gets a foul for trying to box out the rookie. Typical NBA bullshit. Odom got a boo boo, and Marion saves the ball to the Lakers. Raja Bell gets his second foul on all ball. Mike Breen and Mark Jackson agree, "That might have been missed." Diaw finds Junior under the basket. Jones misses the puppy, but he's fouled. Remember the name -- Leon Wood. LB steals and, the Blur scores in the open court. Leandro causes some havoc on defense as the Lakers miss the final shot of the quarter. 23-18, LA.

Pussycat Dolls shake what they're mama gave them, and married men everywhere want a quickie between quarters. If the Suns moved the ball as well as this chick moved her ass, this would be a blow out already. Unfortunately, they're running around looking for their own shots. The defense is fair, allowing only 10 of 24 shots, but the offense is stagnant, making 6 of 18. Oh, look. NBA Cares. I don't.

2nd Quarter

10:42 Points in the paint 18-6 in favor of LA. Odom gets to bully Diaw out of the paint, and then gets to take an extra step. D'Antoni doesn't like it and calls time out quickly. Time to hunker down, get the refs out of their head, and get their asses back in this game. Lakers up by 11.

9:14 LB gets fouled going to the rim out of the time out. Bryant sits, Odom picks up his second foul, and LB gets one of two at the line. Nash is in, and Bynum gets a 3 second violation. Suns still can't hit a jumper. At this point, I'm wondering where the Suns vaunted screen and roll is. LB drives and draws the foul again. If he gets going, the Suns should go on a huge run. 1 of 2 again, and this is just ugly. Odom schooling Diaw. LB draws another foul on the break.

7:23 GEEEEZ!!! Is there a wire on the basket? ANOTHER missed free throw. By the way...the mohawk is gone. Damn. But he makes up for it by drawing an offensive foul on Farmar. I love this kid. Diaw loses his unselfishness and misses yet again. Marion defends well, and Nash leads Amare for a dunk on the break. A little more of that, and Suns fans will be happy. Vujacic hits a long jumper, Suns run, but Lakers tip the lob out of bounds. Marion passes up the pass for a running one hander that predictably misses.

6:28 FINALLY Diaw drives and lays it in. LB cans a long jumper, and Phil calls time out. Mark Jackson has good grasp of the obvious, as he lets us know that the Suns problems are a combination of Laker defense and the Suns settling for jumpers. The Lakers' shooting is up to 48%, but the F-1 Suns are stuck between 1st and 2nd gear. Time for a transmission check as the Lakers lead 35-27.

4:34 Officials don't see the ball hit the shot clock, but the Suns get the defensive rebound anyway. Odom rolls over Amare on the floor, no foul called. Nash's lay up goes in, then promptly comes out. Marion fights Turiaf for the board, then eventually gets the three. 7-0 run. Bell is back in, and Kobe misses the jumper. Lakers foul on the rebound.

2:58 Marion gets the assist from Nash. 8 points and 8 rebounds for the Matrix. Kobe shoots flat and gets the roll. Can't do nothing about that. Turiaf and his Snoop Dog pimp 'do gets away with one as Amare misses the lay in, the Raja draws the charge on Odom. That's three for him, and he sits. Stat attacks Turiaf again, but this time it goes in, and it's a three point game. Suns on the run, Nash three in transition, tie game. Guess who calls a time out again.

Commercials crack me up. This lady expects us to believe that anyone can move from the fryer to regional manager for MacDonald's. Have you heard those stories? She has. Anthony Hopkins reprises his role as Cannibal, but in a different movie and as a different character. Hollywood is SO unoriginal. I don't go to the movies anymore because I don't want to pay 10 bucks to see a rehash of something I already have on DVD. Freedom is choice, so vote for the Honda Civic. Does that make sense to anyone?

59.8 HA! Kwame Brown has the smallest hands in 7-foot history. He blows the lay up, then Amare exterminates him. Farmar turns his ankle, and Phil doesn't care. Keep playing. Bryant hits a two then a three. Alley oop to Marion after Stoudemire almost turns it over. GET ON THE FLOOR BIG MAN! Bryant shooting threes. Too bad he's making them. Where's Raja? LB gets called for an offensive foul? What are these refs smoking, and why are they allowed to smoke it during a game.

0:00 Cook misses a WIDE open shot, and the rebound goes out of bounds. Suns get it down by 6. Missed shot, back tap, missed three. Suns finish the half with 39 points. Bryant hits a long, impossible, contested three. What a joke. 48-39 LA.

Halftime

Kobe is 11 of 17 for a 28 point half, the rest of the Lakers are 10-29. I thought the game plan was to give Bryant different looks. Apparently I was misled. Makes one wonder if that 2nd foul on Bell had an impact on the game. Ya think?! Suns showed signs of life on a 14-2 run, but the ball needs to move and Suns need to hit open shots. Leandro is 0-4 from three point range, and the Suns as a team are 3-13. The problem is, they're out of rhythm. The threes they hit came off kick outs from the paint. The missed shots were not preceded by a pass. You do the math. Marion is the hot hand, making 4 of 8 shots, 2 of 3 from downtown, and he has 8 rebounds. The rest of the team has 12.

Despite the 9 point deficit, the Suns are very much in this game. All they have to do is make their shots, and they'll be fine. Jon Barry agrees with me.

Chuck gets clowned on a T-Mobile commercial. It's great that he has a sense of humor about himself, because he's so easy to laugh at. He may as well join in the fun. Chuck should be begging Wade to be in his Fave 5. Dwyane is crazy skilled.

So Kobe's dominating the ball and the game, which theoretically plays into the Suns' favor. We may not like the guy, but we have to respect his ability to make crazy shots with two defenders in his grill. I wonder what Gilbert Arenas thinks of Kobe's shot selection. I also wonder if Kobe can make an open shot, since he's so used to making the big ones with defenders draped all over him. Maybe the Suns should back off a bit, and let Raja do his job. Mark Jackson disagrees, saying that the Suns should maybe triple team him. I expect Marion to guard him in the second half with Diaw on Odom.

3rd Quarter

8:31 Lakers open the half with a score. Suns go to Amare finally, and he can's the fall away. Steve can't leave Waltom open. Amare inside again. Walton gets inside on Junior. Not good. Stat posts Kobe, who draws the foul as Amare misses. I like that match up...a LOT. If the Suns are going to make this a game, they HAVE to get the ball inside to Amare. Kobe hits another three, then Nash comes back to score inside. Nash is coming alive on the scoring end. We need that. Amare gets the steal, but Raja can't hit the transition three.

5:53 Marion won't miss three in a row. Good job on the offensive glass. 24 second violation as the Lakers go to Kwame Brown instead of Kobe. Junior finally hits in the lane. Ball goes into Teflom hands again, and Nash knocks it off Brown's knee. Now Kwame's jawing at his own team mates. I like that a lot, too. Nash draws a charge on Farmar after Junior misses yet another open three. Another foul on Farmar, his third. Suns are getting feisty on the glass. If they can't get it, they knock it off an unsuspecting Laker. TV time out. 61-53 LA.

4:00 Again we're reminded that the Suns were the 8th team in league history to come back from being down 3-1. Amare looks disconnected, and the Roadrunner gets the lay up. Amare doesn't like Diaw's defensive rotation, and lets him know it...politely. Diaw nods in agreement. Stat dunks it, and I wish I could see that more. Suns rotation sucks again, and Farmar hits a three. Nash answers. Again...defense allows Odom an open lane. But it's all good as Nash hits an open three. 69-62.

1:14 Amare draws foul number 4 on Farmar on a rebound. This is certainly an odd game. Diaw takes Parker, and actually goes left for an unconested dunk. Bell STILL cannot hit an open three. Odom elbows Raja...no call. Raja misses again, but Amare cleans it up. LB is UNstoppable. MEEP MEEP!!! He has 11. Make that 14 as Phil calls a timeout, and the Suns are within 4, 75-71.

Somehow, Dancing with the Stars and "Bad to the Bone" don't seem an appropriate match. Suns had 39 at the half, and 32 in the third quarter.

0:00 OMG!!! Kobe actually got called for an offensive foul as he rams into Stoudemire in the paint. Barbosa nails a buzzer beating three, and we have a three point game. Why they're looking at the replay, I don't know. Suns nearly match their first half output as they score 35 behind Barbosa and Stoudemire, but it would be nicer if they held LA under 29.

Now ABC is having National Bingo night. Why? Because no one goes to church anymore, and the Price is Right will be ending soon...old people need a game show, too. American Idol rejects sing for Sanderson Ford. This is what their 15 minutes got them? Sad.

4th quarter

10:23 Bench points 21-6 in favor of Phoenix. Stat opens the quarter with a 15 foot miss. GET INTO THE PAINT!!! Then he steals it, and Christmas is back on...until Diaw dribbles it off his own knee. Coach looks peeved. Barbosa weaves his way at lightning speed, and even Smush Parker's man hug can't stop the lay in. The And One is good, and we're tied. First time since 37 all. LB is heating up and making the Lakers look like they're nailed to the hardwood as he goes in for another lay up. The racing stripe is gone, but the race is still on. I'll say it again...I LOVE this kid. Leandro is on a one-man 5-0 run, and the Suns are up by two, 79-77.

8:58 Butler must be having the time of his life in the rafters of the Purple Palace. Bryant's shots suddenly hitting the front of the rim. Did he wear himself out in the first half? LB misses one, but he has the Suns' last 13 points, and Bynum gets an open lane. Leandro answers in the back door again. 24 points for our favorite foreigner. Here he comes again. Marion denied the dunk by a Brian Cook foul. He still should have made the shot, as the ball was on the rim. He misses the first free throw, which has been the story of the game. Makes the second.

7:57 Leon Wood jobs Stoudemire on a clean strip. But it's Kobe, so contact is assumed. Marion needs to guard Kobe, and he reads my mind. Could he be reading my blog while he plays? He IS the Matrix, so it wouldn't surprise me. Wood gives Stat a make up call, and gives Kobe his third foul. 1-2 AGAIN!!!

5:25 Bryant hits the deck, but doesn't get the call. Marion breaks free and has a chance at a three point play. We like this. Kobe sits with the Suns up by 5, 86-81. Raja lets Vujacic's miss go out of bounds, and Evans gets a free piggy back ride. Marion misses a three. I'm sensing a pattern here. Vujacic tries to bounce the ball of the Suns, but Marion tips it to Barbosa who by-passes a wide open Diaw. Brown knocks Diaw down, and Diaw misses the first free throw.

5:06 Diaw is just 2-7 now, so I'm wondering if he should just drive. Can't pass up an open jumper, so all is forgiven...except for the missed jumpers. Nash misses a three, and the Suns are now 6-22 behind the arc. Diaw fouls for the timeout. Suns up 87-83 as Tony Parker's hot mama reminds us that we're watching the NBA on ABC. Frenchies get the hottest women. Must be the accent, cuz they ain't much to look at.

If the Suns were shooting their averages at the arc or the foul line, this would be a run away. Unfortunately, they want to let LA hang around a bit longer. Kobe's getting his rest, so a close game isn't in the Suns' best interest right now. Lakers' offense is running through Odom while Kobe sits, so double teams should be coming in a steady stream. They are not. Matt Leinart is enjoying the game.

2:25 Kobe's back in. Makes a nice pass to Odom underneath, but he can't convert. Marion attacking the offensive glass. Barbosa misses a lay up. How odd. LB strips Odom, then races for the lay in. The Lakers have no answer for his quickness. Bryant keeps missing...thank God. WOW! LB dribbles behind his back, falls down, and STILL finds Amare underneath for a dunk! I LOVE THIS KID!!! Bryant misses again. Suns defense is suffocating him. I'm glad they listened to Mark Jackson instead of me. Nash hearing MVP chants as LB misses a three. Walton gets inside, but no one in the broadcast truck cares as Leandro highlights take us to commercial. Suns up 91-85. We like this a LOT.

33.5 Stretch run, and Amare STILL can't hit his midrange jumper. Bryant has missed 9 in a row until he gets inside for a lay up. He's working for everything. Nash/Stoudemire screen and roll pays off with a minute and a half to go. Kobe gets the nightmare double team...Bell and Marion. He misses. Suns hold the ball for a bit before LB misses inside. 93-87 Suns, and Bryant misses yet another ill-advised three. Lakers are forced to foul Nash. MVP chants again as Nash knocks downboth free throws. 95-87 with 33.5 seconds to go. Not to sound like a broken record, but WE LIKE THIS A LOT! Time out Zen Master.

0:00 Suns have come back from 12 down in the third. Mike Breen and Mark Jackson tell us how they did it as Odom misses inside. Lakers give up. Suns win a tough one, as Kobe burned himself out in the first half, and the rest of the Lakers just couldn't find a rhythm. BIG surprise.

Postgame

The nation gets a taste of Leandro's improved English. He wasn't aggressive enough in the first half. It's a lot of fun for him and the fans, and it's really good for him. Again Mike Breen reminds us who the leading candidate for 6th Man of the Year is, and it's a Phoenix Sun.

Not a good first half for the Suns at all, as they never found their offensive rhythm. They settled for jump shots instead of moving the Laker defense with the quick and precise ball movement we've grown accustomed to. Kobe went off for 28 first halof points, which helped the Suns in the end as he couldn't hit the broad side of a singing fat lady in the fourth quarter.

Three Suns had double doubles (Nash, Marion, Stoudemire), but the rest of the team were pretty much ineffective. Bell did what he could defending Kobe, who only made 4 of 16 second half shots for 11 points. I'll take that in place of the three ball, as long as Diaw steps up his shooting. Boris had a serviceable 5 assists, but only 3 rebounds to go with his 5 points. When your 6th man is a scoring point guard and out rebounds your 6'8" power forward, something's wrong. I liked Diaw's aggressiveness, but he still can't seem to find that balance between taking his shot and passing.

Kurt didn't get a lot of minutes, but the Suns needed the offense after that abysmal first half. Junior didn't add much, but it didn't help that his defense was trumped by the officials' whistles.

The Good: Leandro came off the bench and torched the Lakers for 26 points (13 in a row between the third and fourth), 5 rebounds, and 2 steals. I only wish we could have gotten a picture of the mohawk for posterity.

The Bad: Boris Diaw struggles to find his place when he's on the court with Amare. That's on D'Antoni to keep them apart as much as possible.

The Ugly: Kobe Bryant's fourth quarter anti-heroics. He shoots 1-10 after wearing himself out early, and never gets his team mates involved, finishing with one assist...in the fourth quarter. That's why the Suns don't care if he goes off early.