A Clockwork Orange (and Purple)

THANK GOD, ALMIGHTY!!!

2010-11-02T00:02:00.000-07:00

How much do the Suns value Jared Dudley?

Kevin Durant, Joakim Noah, Al Horford and Mike Conley were the only other 2007 first-round draft picks who were as valued by their teams and signed contract extensions Monday night.

In a deal equivalent of a game-winning shot at the buzzer, Dudley signed
a five-year, $22.5 million contract extension 10 minutes before the deadline
that would have made him a free agent next summer.

Way to lock up the ultimate no-brainer, Bob. Congratulations. You did something right this season. Now about that Turkoglu trade...

Anyway, it's tough not being able to keep up with our Purple Passion. I get to read azcentral at work, but I rarely get a chance to comment at length, mostly because I don't get to see any games! I saw the home opener, though, and I must say that I was pleasantly surprised at how well the Suns kept it close all game long.

The only real negative I saw was the huge, gaping hole on the left side of the half-court. It's hard not to feel bad for FroLo left on that island all alone to contend with Lamar Odom and Pau Gasol. (Captain Hindsight says, The Suns should have resigned Amar'e and picked up a player to match up with Odom.)

Hakim Warrick looked half way decent on a couple of pick-and-rolls, but we all thought Amar'e was skinny. Holy crap that guy has no chance against big front lines unless he sprouts wings or springs. Doodlebug's favorite, Go Run, tore it up for a while there, but what happened to him down the stretch? Gentry's gotta use him alongside Nash more - maybe with Richardson for a nasty little dose of small ball. I've been telling you for two years now, that kid's gonna be something special. That's why my baby girl picked him as her favorite player.

Speaking of life outside the Suns...don't ask.

The Earl Clark Question

I've seen arguments from both sides about this. Earl's a bust. He just hasn't been given a chance, yet. I said before his first summer league that I didn't think the kid was all there. he had that Joe Johnson interview quality where every word sounds like it was made from fresh dough as he speaks.

(Oh, look. The Giants won the World Series. Damn. Well, at least Bonds didn't win it.)

But he's got amazing raw talent and athleticism that would make a grown man puke out his own testicles if he ever used it. This season is a loss, even if we make the playoffs, so we may as well give him a shot the same way we gave Goran and Robin their shots.

Come on, Bobby. You already did one right thing today. Call off the playoff chase and prepare for future seasons.

Notes

2010-10-22T22:36:00.000-07:00

The Lon Chain E-mail

ClubTurk85
Yo, Babs, I can't take this Toronto bullshit anymore.
BabsLuvr69
Don't worry, I just got a gig with the Suns. The owner's an idiot. I can bring you aboard.
ClubTurk85
Sweet.
BabsLuvr69
There's just one thing. You'll have to give up your trade kicker and 10% of your salary. But on the brightside, there's Scottsdale!
ClubTurk85
Make it happen!

You folks do realize that Turkoglu is untradable, not just because of his contract, but his relationship with Babby. He won't be traded unless Boston or Miami come calling.

Auld Lang Syne

Love him or hate him, deride his defense or celebrate his progress, we should all be happy for Amar'e Stoudemire. He got his wish to be the leader of a young team in the style that made him famous. Also there's this...

Our little spoiled immature boy is growing into a man. *tear*

He's finally the man on the NBA's biggest stage, he's going to tear up the league, and I'm happy for him. You should be, too.

The 4 Hole

Has an internet meme ever been so appropriate in sports as it is now?

Seriously. WTF? There's a black hole where the power forward should be, all because the basketball retard hired an agent to run his basketball operations. Nothing like hiring a built in conflict of interests to manage your personnel moves. Before picking a GM to oversee basketball moves, Babs picked a former client to play the 4. Slick move, suckering a basketball baboon.

Even more mind-altering in its power to baffle was the move to grab Hakim Warrick off the hot stove before anyone else got him. The Suns have liked Warrick for years, we know, and they finally landed him.

Yup. We finally got the guy to back up Amar'e Stoudemire. Only one problem.

At least we nabbed Josh Childress. That dude should have been here four years ago backing Shawn Marion. Not too little, not too late on that one, though.

The sad thing is, we have all these trade chips, but nothing to trade for. Their costs are more than their values, and we'd be lucky to get a Dwayne Jones for them.

Trade Talk

Someone will be traded by January. Will it be...

Frye? Only if there is a god.
Hill, who deserves a shot at a title?
Richardson to a playoff hopeful?
Nash, who could undercut Chris Paul for D'Antoni's open
point guard position?

We can only hope some desperate GM comes calling for Turkoglu to replace his injured small forward while looking to make some noise in the playoffs.

My Opinion

We're looking at a 48-win season here. Don't count on the playoffs, and don't count on a good bounce in the lottery. To be perfectly candid - our team has been fucked up beyond all recognition. Let's send Nash to New York. Send Hill to Boston. Unload Frye on Miami. Wait for Turkoglu to whine and dine his way out of town.

We haven't seen such a dire need for a rebuild since Michael Jackson's fourth nose.

Some Pregame Thoughts

2009-11-12T19:12:00.000-08:00

It's the tenth game of the season, and it's a real doozy. Suns in a nationally televised game. I admit that I'm pretty nervous as a fan going into this game. I can't say the same about my mood before the game in Boston, since this one is against the reigning NBA champion and long time Pacific Division arch-nemesis Los Angeles Lakers.

It's still a young season. Coach Gentry is doing his best to temper his team's and its fans' enthusiasm, but we haven't been this elated since the Suns led the hated San Antonio Spurs with 18.5 seconds to go in a justice-infused game four of the Western Cofnerence Semi-finals. A tenth of a second later, two years of misery ensued. Forgive us, Coach, if those of us not in uniform tonight are all a little excited.

This game has to be nerve racking for the most die hard Suns fan with a memory. In an 82-game season, 1 game has little meaning (forget the implications for potential playoff seeding - our job is to live in the moment). But each game so far has given us more insight into the Gentry-Nash era of Suns basketball, and we have plenty of reason for optimism regarding the current regular season.

What have the Suns shown us so far this season?

Opening night taught us that the Suns can fight against a bigger team, as well as the significance of coaching and team identity.

We learned against the Warriors that the Suns are still the premiere offensive team in the league.

Against the Timberwolves, we learned that the Suns are no longer the fluke whipping boy of bottom feeders. They will win the games that they are supposed to win.

Collectively, the next five games showed that the Suns are a durable road team with a heart to be reckoned with.

The Suns book-ended the trip by fighting back in the fourth quarter against the Heat and Sixers, the former telling is that even superstars aren't immune to the Suns tenacity, the latter showing that there is no Q-U-I-T in S-U-N-S. That Philadelphia game also cemented Alvin Gentry as a man who can make adjustments and inspire a road-weary team to victory.

Orlando demonstrated that the Suns are not in elite company, yet.

Boston suggested otherwise. Also, we learned that our Suns can play the front runner against a championship caliber team for 48 minutes. There is a lot of pride in that.

We learned in Washington that the Suns can overcome a shaky start and impose their will at the drop of a hat.

Comeing home, The Suns proved that, not only can they play the front runner, they have the wherewithall to put their collective foot down and build upon a first half blowout to cruise to easy victory.

What will tonight's game show us?

Well, if the Suns win, we can accept the mantle of dragon slayer and solidify our place among the top teams in the NBA...at least until the team makes its second trip around the league. Then we would see if the Suns can overcome in-season adjustments from their opponents.

If they lose, then it will validate Nash's and Gentry's tempered enthusiasm, as well as remind us that our team still has a long way to go with plenty to learn.

Either way, this meaningless early season Divisional match up will tell us something new about our favorite team - OUR Phoenix Suns.

BEAT LA!!!

Dear Amar'e

2009-11-12T16:56:00.000-08:00

I am not sorry. I've never really considered myself a fan of yours. You spent your career talking your game without walking it, except on the offensive end when you were rattling the rim.

How many times did you fail to get back defensively for arguing no-calls with the officials? How many times did you sit sulking on the bench when other team mates received the fourth quarter touches you felt were rightfully yours? How often did you stand flat-footed as your man spun around you or shot a 15-foot jumper in your grill? Where were you during the mystical 2005-06 season when your Suns brethren, decimated by injuries and deficient in size, fought their way to the sixth game of the Conference Finals?

Every summer you told us that you were coming back the next season meaner, tougher, and committed to defense - that you had been working hard and watching film to come into the season better prepared, only to morph slowly from the Duncan-killing Conference Finals beast into the league's biggest and leanest small forward. Every season you regressed further from your true form and further from the basket.

Sure, you had a month-long stretch between December 2006 and January 2007 when you averaged three blocked shots per game, but that quickly faded as tensions between you and Shawn Marion began to rip apart the chemistry of the team (for this, I lay blame on both of you equally, since neither of you put the team before yourself).

Last December, you averaged more than twelve rebounds over ten games. You showed us pieces of the complete player puzzle that you proclaimed yourself to be, but you left them scattered on the table as you found your role less glamorous than it was your first season under Mike D'Antoni. You said the right things, but you never fulfilled your promises. The incongruity between your words and your actions over the years was a legitimate cause for criticism.

So you'll forgive me if I showed no mercy during the twenty seven months after the League suspended you for leaving the bench with only eighteen seconds to play. I believe in my heart that I was justified in starting the Trade Amare Express two years ago. I only abandoned that train after Steve Kerr's arrogance exiled Boris Diaw to the Siberian Bobcats, where he flourished as that team's sole high post player. I insisted that we traded the wrong forward, and I was right, given the circumstances. Our only hope was that you would finally keep your perpetual promise to improve yourself.

Why should I ever have believed you when, once again, the Stoudemire record skipped? How could I ever again take seriously a man-child more concerned with nicknames and apostrophes than team chemistry?

That's why.

I wasn't skeptical that you had finally changed. I simply did not believe you. I had no reason to, just as I have no reason to apologize for being the one to lead the charge to get you the hell out of Phoenix. But I will say this...

I am so damned proud of you, Amar'e. Some people will attribute your play to your contract, but, though yours may be the words of a man looking to impress another club, the demeanor with which you speak and your genuine tone express more than any word you've uttered thus far this season.

I'll be honest...your performance that first game against the Clippers had me doubting once again, but I sucked it up when I saw that you made ten trips to the free throw line. I decided to give you until Christmas to show me something. Since that game, all you've done is hustle your ass off, encourage your team mates, and attack the glass. The rebounding may not be double-digits, but the effect of your presence is noteworthy as your fellow starters are averaging a combined 21.5 rebounds per game. (For perspective - that's three more than Kevin Garnett's team mates and nearly ten more than Tim Duncan's.)

The one thing that has impressed me the most, though - the image that sticks in my mind when I think of Amar'e Stoudemire this season - is your growth into the roll of team captain. Not to rehash old criticisms, but your last appointment to captainship was both puzzling and ill-conceived. You complained like a diva at every call that went against you, and every call you simply didn't get. You had alienated your team mates and coach, as you did your fans and me. You were exactly opposite of what you are now.

You no longer bark and sneer at the refs for missing calls. You talk to them professional to professional - man to man - and you state your case without pleading. You acknowledge their feedback and show your understanding to the demands of their jobs.

You encourage and congratulate your team mates. You salute the veterans in the stands. You show humility commensurate with your talent, which is a rarity in a league dominated by star players and multi-million dollar egos. And I can't praise you enough for the maturity and focus you have displayed for Suns fans during these first two weeks of the season. You're having fun again, and the enthusiasm bleeds through the screen and into my heart as I pump my fists with every rebound, every dunk, and every defensive stand you make.

I won't apologize for my beliefs. I will, however, admit that I was wrong. You did have it in you, and now you have let it out for the entire basketball-loving world to see. I've been wanting to say this for so many years now - I am so proud of Amar'e Stoudemire.

The step is back.

The dunks are back.

The system is back.

I am back.

Great job, Amar'e. I believe in you.

Sincerely,

Your new fan, Jey.

(Somewhere in Chandler, Adam is smiling.)

Three Down, Ninety Five to Go

2009-11-01T23:05:00.000-08:00

Photo by Rob Schumacher/The Arizona Republic

1. The team chemistry is amazing from top to bottom.

2. Hill and Nash are showing great leadership with their play.

3. I'm impressed with Amare's play on both ends of the floor and his effort on the boards. He's not getting them all, but he's going after them. Also happy to see him attacking the lane again. Once his legs get back, he's going to be a holy terror again.

4. Lou needs to start making those offensive rebound tip-ins, but I'll never complain if he misses them. He looks comfortable and in control out there.

5. Dudley. Excellent move by Kerr in demanding he be involved in the trade.

6. Did I mention the team chemistry? Holy shit, it's the best I've ever seen. It's even better than 05-06 when Amare was out.

7. Amare is not only saying the right things (as usual), he's backing up his words with his play and body language. He and Frye need to start hanging out more to get their mojos in sync, but they're a perfect match.

8. Lou and Dudley seem to have had a positive impact in Amare. They all are challenging the inbounds pass in the back court, and they're dogging their man the whole way. I mentioned chemistry, right?

9. Goran keeps having Nash moments in the lane. If he keeps it up, no team is going to get a breather when Nash sits.

10. Richardson looks comfortable finally. It's only one game, but it's a huge step in the right direction for him. He's the team's offensive wild card right now. If he keeps his nose clean and his head on straight, he'll make the Suns offense unstoppable.

11. Frye. I'll just reference coach Gentry in the post-game article written by Bob Young:

He got up 10 3s, and he probably should have gotten up 15, to be honest with you. It's an adjustment for him. It's hard for a guy to keep firing away. If he goes six for 10, I'll let him take five more, I'll tell you that. One thing I try to emphasize to him is that we did not bring him here to be a passer.

I said Friday that the team just needs to get its three-point shooters rolling, and they'll be badass. He's got them on the right track.

12. The defensive effort is there from everybody. This is new territory for this team, so I'll forgive them if their effort doesn't always pay off. What they're doing is all I've ever asked of them, and it's going to get there.

13. Caveat: Clippers, Warriors, T-Wolves. I don't care. The only game that could have gone the other way was against LA, and they're a huge team. Still, they've handled the teams they are supposed to, which was always a question mark last season. This is not midseason, so we can't know for sure exactly what the Suns are capable of accomplishing. These things are for certain, though - the chemistry is there, the effort is there, and the right personnel are in place. I'm loving what I'm seing so far.

(Clever Play on Words)

2009-01-22T07:49:00.000-08:00

GOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING, PHOENIX FAAAAAAAANS!!!

I'm Jey again. My apologies for the ego indulgence, but I needed a vacation from myself for a while. I hadn't been myself the previous 17 months or so due to my very first kidney stone I received for my birthday in 2007 and the complications that followed. I was on prescription narcotics for a very long time, and it took even longer to rid myself of its effects. I had a very odd year (+).

The Percocet seriously exacerbated my attention deficit disorder, and finally led me to get treatment for it. I'm excited. I get free prescription amphetamines. This could be fun. Not only was I forced to deal with my ADD, I also learned of another neat condition that explains me entirely. I had heard about Asperger's syndrome before, and someone actually suggested that it might be my personal Grail, but I never found enough information about it online until last spring, for some reason. All the tests I've taken to evaluate my mental state strongly suggest it, so I'm going with it. (Believe me...it explains EVUHRYTHING.)

I awaken from my 17 month haze to find the Suns looking like a team I should hate. Well...it is, and I do. After going over some old entries, I realise that it's time I make an effort to come back because, well...when you're right, you're right. And goddam it, I was RIGHT! This team has fallen apart, and it started with 'A'm'a'r'e' (seriously...what will be his next excuse to draw attention to himself? A Prince Albert? *graphic image alert*) eroding team chemistry with an unsubstantiated ego worthy of Benoit Benjamin, complete with the oblivious stupidity and laziness that made BB the most frustrating talent in NBA history...until now.

Anyone who's been following azacentral and planetorange is well aware of my stance on 'A'm'a'r'e' these days. Trade his stupid ass or put him on Adderall. At first, my opinion was met with much resistance, but it seems that the Trade Amare Express is gathering a full head of steam, and people around the league and in the front office are beginning to take notice.

It's about damn time. (It's not like I sent David Griffin a long ass e-mail regarding the team's and fans' chemistry and the perception shift amongst fans as to the direction of the franchise a year and a half ago. Thanks for the forward, Jeramie.)

Anyway...I'm not here to bitch about that. I'm here to make my presence known in the basketblog world again. I've gotten over the whole first round debacle of last year, and I'm ready to move on. Unfortunately for the organisation, though, my mission has changed. I may still be Jey, but my message is no longer, "It's OUR time!" It's now, "Your time is up."

Let's just hope I can manage my ADD enough to stick with it.

*fingers crossed, subversively flipping off Sarver, Kerr, and Griffin*

Edit (10-20-09): And wouldn't ya know it...as soon as I post this, I lose my internet. Gotta love the cosmos. Here's hoping that things work out.

Changing Times

2008-08-27T16:47:00.000-07:00

Update: 1-22-09

Fuck you. It's Jey again. My bout with temporary sanity is over.

I was born Tuesday, August 28, 1973.

I only know it was a Tuesday because I looked it up, and I only know the date because I have an aged-yellow, torn and taped piece of paper in my possession with that exact date printed on it - August 28, 1973. It has mine and my parent's names on it, too, but I don't really need the birth certificate for that information. The names have been repeated hundreds of thousands of countless times, so they're pretty much seared into my memory, thus somehow becoming the simplest definition of my identity. I've never liked the name that much, so I informally change it every so often to something that more closely matches the correct definition of my identity. Today, it's "Jey." Tomorrow . . .

It's Wednesday, August 27, 2008.

Today I am 34, and tomorrow I will be 35. I'm aware that it's just one more second in a succession of seconds that culminate into hours and days and months, but the revolution of the odometer ticks alarmingly loudly when the smaller year gives way to the larger year. (This effect is well-represented in American cinema, as we often hear the cocking of a pistol behind the bad guy's head as he is about to commit an act that is mostly out of the audience's favor, or when the good guy is about to save the damsel in distress just before the showdown scene.)

It's loud, and it tells us that the situation as we know it has just changed, whether we're 20 going on 21 or 59 going on 60, we hear that tick get louder and louder as we go.

I noticed that succeeding generations redefine adulthood based on this uptick in age, usually due to the loss of some kind of innocence everyone seemed to share at the time, and the misguided attempt at preserving that innocence for future generations.

World War II defined adulthood absolutely for Western civilization, as wars often do. Young people, who had survived the Great Depression, wanted to help the cause. After all, they were old enough to find work when their parents couldn't, so they were old enough to fight for their countries. But the previous generation declared them too young, and 18 became the age of adulthood. Still, a young soldier sees death first hand, and he loses his innocence. A boy off to war, and man home from war. The age of 18 was it.

That attitude lasted for about twenty years before these kids figured that going to school and learning something might be a more palatable option to certain, agonizing death. Many of these 18 year old men and women with the financial means began saying "Fuck this!" and headed to college. They decided that the only way to preserve their innocence was to abandon it maturely and responsibly, using their brains rather than blood to shed the illusions of childhood, and ease their way into adulthood. To the previous generation, this act of rebellion was typical of children, and they redefined adulthood at 21.

When these kids got to the "real world," many of them realized that everything they learned wasn't going to do them a damn bit of good, and that piece of sheepskin would be better served as contraception (which actually happened, and the Baby Boom's first contribution to the grand sociological structure was the infamous "baby bust" generation of the late 60s and early 70s). The illusion of life shattered, innocence lost. Again.

I was born Tuesday, August 28, 1973.

Generation X. Stuck between a generation of thinkers who found no answers and a generation of non-thinkers who have all the answers. A generation with no inherent identity - no defining moment of change that separates who we were and who we will be. I grew up on M*A*S*H, so I know that war is bad. I grew up on Happy Days, so I know that family is good. I grew up on Saturday morning cartoons, so I know that anything is possible.

My generation's identity is a by-product of being the first generation to grow up in broken homes with television babysitters in a constant state of fear of attack by an unknown enemy. We had a choice. Don't go to war or don't go to school. (For the record, many of us did both anyway, and returned with the same information that our parents and grandparents had already found.) We sat in front of the tube our whole lives, and it became our substitute for school, play, parenting, critical thinking . . .

We grew up more slowly, yet retained the youthful spirit of independence. We had no focus, no identity, and that is seen as child-like. So somewhere between MTV and Thirtysomething, someone somehow decided for us that adulthood begins at 30.

Notice the pattern here. Old says, "too young," young says, "old enough," and the whole process becomes progressively slower. Then some brown people flew some planes into some buildings, and the next generation got its defining moment. World War II, Vietnam, World Trade Center -- mine is the only generation of the last century not to have been forced into adulthood. Society, for us, skipped a beat. It's gotten to the point where 12 year-olds are left to make adult decisions, even though they have no fucking clue what to do (at least my generation can claim self-awareness to this cluelessness).

It's Wednesday, August 27, 2008.

By any definition, 35 years is plenty of time to reach a point of understanding of the world (sophistication) as yet unmatched by younger generations. I could even become president now. (Me!) Today I'm too young, but tomorrow I'll be old enough. Whatever defines me today surely can't define me tomorrow. So today it's "Jey." Tomorrow . . .

Update: 8-29-08

. . . it's Joe.

Kozmic Blues

2007-12-27T12:18:00.000-08:00

There is so much angst and misunderstanding going on, people seem to be overlooking some basic, yet very important points about the Suns. There seems to be a divide amongst fans and within the team itself, as Jerry Brown points out - "There appears to be at least a peripheral disconnect between Kerr — a staunch believer in defense and depth — and D’Antoni’s high-octane offense/tight rotation mantra that will also play a role in the decision-making."

Personally, I don't see what all the fuss is about. I still insist that people aren't panicking. It's just a wide scale miscommunication amongst the ranks of Sunsland. It's true that a lot of fans don't want to hear that Amare Stoudemire is a glaring issue, but it's not like I'm insisting on anything. I'm just making an observation when I say things like...

"People are getting louder about their discontent with Amare, while more people are jumping back on the DEE-WOW wagon. Boris is playing like a madman [compared to Amare], even when he's not getting stats. Amare's just been sloughing up and down the court. Whatever the reasons, be it laziness or the knees, he's starting to wear thin on the fans, the media, and his own f-in team. He [could be] on his way out, if the Suns can get 75 cents on the dollar in return. The team proved when he was out that they didn't need him to get to the WCF. Injuries and inconsistent play derailed them, and the team has upgraded in both areas with SKYNYR and ULYSSES."

The brackets are edits I've made, since hearing from Paul Coro in his weekly Blogback, where he responds to fans e-mails. Apparently, he's gotten a lot of them about the same thing. But he did reference some of my comments, so I felt it appropriate to correct myself based on his reply. The original response is on page 17 here.

The criticism is valid, as he points out, "You absolutely nailed it as far as Stoudemire's defense, or lack there of it." But he disagrees with the idea that the perimeter defense has been solid, and that Diaw is "playing like a madman." So I will have to look closer at those areas tonight and perhaps reevaluate my stance on that. It could just all be relative to Amare's no-show that they've looked good to me. We shall see.

So you see, it is OK to look for faults because everyone is. You don't look to improve by addressing strengths. You learn by focusing on the weaknesses, and there is never a presumption that things need to change. It's like searching for the perfect woman.

You start off like everyone else, going for style over substance, the hot dingus over the homely love slave, and you eventually start to find a balance. You start meeting good, attractive women that are more like you in most ways, but with just a few minor differences that can't be overcome.

There's the beautiful exotic student of life who lives to serve her man. She loves to cook and clean and be an extraordinary lover. She is everything you ever dreamed of, and you start thinking that you're on the right track. This one's a keeper, until one day you find out how important your friends are. You take her to meet your friends, the first stop at the lunatic reading porn when you stop by unannounced with a new lady. You ask him politely to put it away, but you understand that he has every right to be doing so, considering the circumstances. No big deal. You're a guy.

Then you go to another friend's house, where a party is under way. It's a normal adult gathering with alcohol and disillusioned twenty-somethings, with a few partiers hanging out before they go off to participate in a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. And they're already in full costume.

On the way home, she informs you that she does not like your friends, and you need to get new ones. How she doesn't make it home on foot is a miracle of Cosmic proportions. But you drop her off at her car, and a week later you drop her off at the curb. You learn that you can't and won't change who you are for anybody. You recognize the importance of your friends, and that they are a reflection of you. You are who you are, and she didn't like that.

A few years later, you meet Miss Right. She's young, beautiful, intelligent - a ballet dancer, we'll say. Long dark, shiny brown hair, pink cheeks, and eyes that light up the universe. She's perfect, and she comes from a similar background. You two are so similar in make up, people sooner think you're siblings than a couple with big plans. But she's young. Everything that you went through growing up, she went through. If you're just barely getting over those traumas, what makes you think she has? Well, Miss Right turns out to be Miss Holy Jesus She Needs Therapy when she goes nuts when she finds pictures of ex-girlfriends on a computer disk that you thought was long gone. This girl is going to drive you insane.

At the same time, though, she's a lot like you, so you hold on. You try to make it work, but it's just not meant to be. You never really get over it, but moving on is the only option when you feel that your sanity is too important, and it's not fair to her to play doctor when you're just as messed up as she is. The whole thing ends in a spectacular flameout, and you realize how lucky you are that the meteor never hit the ground when, right away, you find The One.

She is everything. She is young, exotic, beautiful, intelligent, and well-adjusted. She loves you for you, she doesn't care about your past because it was before she came around. She's supportive and understanding, and you love her for it. It works. You're happy, you're on the right track, and everything is meant to be except one fundamental difference in culture. You realize that, as much as you love this girl, you can't change who you are, even though you really want to this time. That's what love does, after all. It compels us to be the best person we can be for the right woman, but we forget that we're not as good as we think we are. We are not supposed to look for perfection of the highest order. In order to do that, we'd have to become what he hate. There is an expectation of change that needs to occur, and you realize that it is you that is expecting it.

This is when you realize where everything went wrong. This is where you figure out for the first time that you've been looking at the wrong things. Every step of the way, you learned what was right for you. You got better and better at finding the girls that you felt best matched you, your standards. This is the epiphany. You were looking for change from the outside, when you really needed to look deep inside Your Self. You find out that the right woman has been right in front of you the whole time, even if you've never seen her. She's not Miss Right, she's not Miss Perfect, she's Miss You.

Of course, I'm talking about the Suns here.

This whole time we've been looking at what has been going wrong the last three years. There has always been a great collection of our strengths improving with each rendition of the team, and there have always been outside factors that derailed the whole steam engine. Now it's the regular season of the fourth swipe at the ring, and the team is starting to look at its weaknesses. They are looking in the right direction, within, to find ways to improve. It takes time for that realization to hit, but once it does, it will seem as if the entire cosmos has fallen into place.

All things essential. Life, philosophy, dreams...the Phoenix Suns. When they all come together like this, know you've found perfection. You've met the girl of your dreams.

Suns at Spurs

2007-12-17T16:21:00.000-08:00

Introduction

OK, folks. This is the first one of these neat-o mosquito in game play-by-play blogs of the season, and I can only hope that it's as enlightening and fun as the playoff entries I did. I doubt it, though, since no one really cares about the game (except the media, of course, with its general tendency to overhype every match up throughout the season). Yes, contrary to what they say, I have it on good authority that not a single fan in the entire Clockwork universe gives a rat's ass about a December game against the Spurs without Tony Parker. All we really care about is some energy, some offense, and a good, clean game, right? RIGHT?!

For those of you new to this format, I basically write down every significant play in as trite and succinct way as possible (there will be TONS of spelling errors, accidental homonyms, and other such grammatical inconsistencies, as I type as I watch and listen and have no time to go back and edit), hopefully adding a spot of humour and cynicism along the way. I log every minute of action, posting updates during every commercial break. This includes, but is not limited to pregame commentary, commentary on the game action, commentary, refereeing, coaching, commercials, and whatever odd thoughts may cross my mind during the game. If you're not a fan of questionable language and adult themes, I suggest you set your V-Chip to its Disneyland setting and let the adults have the room. Comments are welcome and encouraged, but I tend not to keep up with them, as this is not an easy task. The fun begins when Kevin Ray and Tom Chambers take the stage. Stay tuned...

For anyone having as much difficulty as I am getting a little psyched for this, here's something to consider...

Look at this video, then see if it jives with this quote...

"I'm from the old school. When I came in the league, during the playoffs, foul hard; no blood, no flagrant foul. It was just a hard foul. My intention was to take a charge, but I got there too late. Of course, when you've got 150 (pounds) meets 250, 150 is going to go flying. It's all good. You learn from it and move on"

Anyone who knows me knows my disdain for people who lie. It is with this in mind that I say, Robert Horry better not run into me on the streets of Phoenix. He will have no use for an athletic supporter after such an encounter. The discrepency between his words and his actions should offend anyone with an ounce of intelligence. More to come....

Pregame

OK, I love listening to TC. It sounds like he's bucking for a coaching gig with the Suns. HE GETS IT!!! Yes, Coach. Listen to the Gas Chambers' words! Get rough, get tough, and slap them lazy boys around when they're not performing!

Blah blah blah Leander talks and no one listens. TC keeps pushing the point, and hopefully D'Antoni is listening. No TP, but we got TD, and TC is always here for us. Oh, yay. Manu Ginobili gets the spotlight. I liked him a lot better when he was on "Perfect Strangers." Who knew Balki Bartokomous would grow up to be a key player on an NBA championship team? IMMIGRANTS RULE!!!

Great. The Gorilla reminds me of a nasty, filthy, disgusting habit that I just so happen to have. More after this break. Good...I don't want to listen to them talk about that rag. Farkin lying piece of shit on a stick.

I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome our old friends from The Official Clockwork Orange (and Purple) message board, as well as new friends from Bright Side and Planet Orange. Yes, we are all-inclusive on the ACOP game blog. The more the merrier, I always say when I need an audience.

My apologies to Dallin, I am NOT tobacco free at this moment, but it will happen some day.....yes, someday. For now, though, I am a slave to RJ Reynolds.

KIDS!!! DO NOT SMOKE!!! IT IS A TERRIBLE ADDICTION THAT YOU WILL REGRET YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!!! LISTEN TO THE GORILLA AND HIS GHETTO RAP!!!

The best thing about these games against the Anti-Alamo is that we get to relive the heartbreak and anger of that lame series that redefined "injustice" for everyone outside of San Antonio and Los Angeles. Nothing like a little sado-masochism to make a game worthwhile.

How does TC get sunburned in the middle of December? Or maybe he's just as ticked off watching those replays as we are? Whatever the case, the makeup department really dropped the ball here. At least he bringeth the wise words of a man who himself felt the heartbreak of coming oh so close.

TC's buzzer beaters: He speaks what all Suns fans feel -- BRING IT BORIS AND AMARE!!!

This Peter Piper Pizza commercial still smacks of edible erotica. Seriously...TEASE ME, CHEESE ME, WITH TOPPINGS THAT'LL PLEASE ME?!?!?! Is that how we want our kids to think of food? Interesting...I wonder what the relationship between fast food and cheap sex really is. Lord knows, I like a good spicy beef burrito after plantin' the ol' pipe as much as the next guy, but there are kids in that commercial.

LMMFAO!!! How perfect a choice is "Basketcase" here?

No, I don't have the time to listen to you whine, TD.

See what I mean about Leander? He doesn't even know that the Evil Empire resides in the Bronx. This is the Anti-Alamo, dontcha know?! Did Majerle just say Robert Whorey?

Paul Coro asked us today for our score predictions. I say 115-108 Suns. I can't even stand by that, really. Who knows what to expect with a missing player and an inconsistent team so far?

Oh, yay. Another lame "Where Amazing Happens" commercial. You know what's amazing? A game where you don't notice the referees. I'd pillow-smother a small child to see a game where the officials actually did a good job and didn't allow flopping.

1st Quarter

(10:23) Jump ball goes to Oberto. Finley can't handle Bell's smothering defense, and TD hits a hook. Hill fakes a three then drives half way for the long jumper. THE SHOTS MUST FALL!! Bowen misses badly, but somehow Duncan gets the put back. Hill lobs to Trix, and Vaughn forgets that you're not allowed to hold a guy to the ground. A miss by Hill, and the reboudning looks shabby so far. Duncan puts a great move to spin between Stat and Trix, but Marion taps the miss (HA!) to Nash who rewards his lightning quick wing with the Oop on the other end. Pop doesn't like it too much, and he scolds the kids in white.

(7:09) Back to TD in the post again, and the double comes quickly. Too bad their ball movement is spot on, as is Vaughn's three. Shawn misses, but Duncan doesn't. FINALLY a rebound. And another! Two offensive rebounds in a row, now if we just didn't need those. And Stat hits the inside shot. Nice. Oh look. TD in the post again. Why do they keep leaving Vaughn open? Hill misses again, and the shooting looks like crap. For us anyway, as Duncan hits again. BELL FOR THREE!!!! Finally the Spurs miss, and Stat and Trix fight for it. TD rebounds, but Trix swipes it. Ugh. Pass for Marion goes through his hands and into Vaughn's. GET THAT SHIT OUTTA HERE!!! Bell blows the fast break layup. At least the ref has a functioning whistle.

(6:25) Raja gets the free throws, and it's only a one point game. That's good, but it needs to be more. Tim takes a breather, and here comes the punk bitch. G-Knob slips but still hits it. Hill's midrange game might prove useful with SA's three point defense. These guys run out so much, all it takes is a three step dribble to get a clean shot. I hope LB is taking notes. Unlike Mike, Pop doesn't seem to like this development and asks his guys to step into a circle for a bit of a chat. A clipboard and high pitched voice seems to be involved. 14-13 Bad guys.

(2:58) Diaw and LB step onto the court, and Ginobili can't take advantage. Boris is true blue from the top of the key! Good to see him take the open look. Oberto gets an open look, but misses badly. There goes Diaw again! COME ON, FREN-JE!!! Manu pushes himself into Bell, and the ref doesn't like Bell's physical abuse. Oberto forgets that Marion is a good defender and loses it out of bounds. Suns offense looks fluid with LB and Diaw, but shots still aren't falling. The rebounding has GOT to change. Oh good, Oberto saves the Suns the trouble by hitting his shot. Bell misses from three. OLE! Says Vaughn as he blows by Leandro. Oh, great. Punk Boy blocks LB's ill advised lay up attempt. USE THE RIM, LITTLE MAN!!! NO SOUP FOR MANU!!! Boris breaks down Oberto, and Marion's three rocks the net. Jacque Cousteau gets his second foul pushing Bell out of bounds on the baseline. A turnover is a turnover. Bell back to the line as he goes for the lane shot. The TV wants to sell us something, so we look for a new beer. Suns up 20-18.

I don't know what to think about htree aging Cindy Crawfords struttin' to Kylie Minogue. Forget keeping her out of my mind. I can't even get her in there. I likes 'em young, I does. More pie. There's that food and sex link again.

HI ROBBY!!!

Yes, Tom. We're well aware of the similarities between Punk Boy and the Fresh Prince. We hadn't heard it in 14 years, so thanks for reminding us. Bell hits the first, and then the second. Four points is the lead.

TD 's back and misses his patented glass hook thing, and somehow gets it back and a foul for good measure. Good thing he sucks at the line. Bad thing the Suns keep missing. Amare plays good defense for all but two steps, and Duncan hits with two minutes to go. Amare misses the key jumper. He needs to drive on Duncan. Oh, shock. Another O rebound. Not that time. Hill streaks on the break and makes the lay in on the change of direction. Thanks, Dan, for your wonderful analysis. It helps me keep up as I stare at the keyboard when I type. Hill hits another one, and we have a six point lead. LB fouls Barry for some odd reason. That was a beautiful move by Hill, I must say. OHHHH!!! Stat says GET THAT SHIZZLE OUTA HIZZLE!!! Another missed three, and SA gets the last shot. 26-20 Suns Side of the Phorce.

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Horry forgets that there's a clock running, and launches a shot about a minute too late, to the dismay of Spurs fans who STILL believe that rules do not apply to them.

2nd Quarter

(11:05) Back to the action, and Grant stays aggressive. Gee...I wonder if D'Antoni's testing his theory that Hill's game would have put us over the top last season. He makes both. OMG DUNCAN GETS CALLED FOR THE TRAVEL!!! THEY'RE RIGHT!!! AMAZING HAPPENED!!! Diaw finds Hill, and he's on a personal 10 point run. Stat holding firm against TD, but Trix a little late and gets the whistle. Duncan to the line for two. 30-20 Us.

(8:42) He actually made them. Darn. YES!!! DEEWOW!!! Spin move and reversal!!! Oops. Marion doesn't bite the first fake, but he does the second. Finley scores. Suns miss, and Leander informs us that Finley has WAY more money than all of us combined. Diaw sets up LB just inside the arc. Bad angle, bad shot. Stat blocks Duncan, but then no one helps by grabbing the damn ball. LB hits the long range, and all's right in Brazil. Here we go. Things really have settled down with LB and Diaw, but LB misses again. Took them long enough to call that travel on Finley. Never mind. It was an O-foul on O-berto. Even better. Here comes the beer, pie, and sex again. 35-28 Clockwork.

Interesting note...the Suns are holding SA to less than 43% from the field while shooting better than 48%. Keep that up, and this will be a blowout. No horny trio, but we got the Room Store with a Harlem Globetrotter. Nice change of pace.

(6:56) Never mind. Slow box score. Suns are over 46%, and Spurs under 42%. Still good. Stat gets his second, and Leander is excited as all hell. Someone REALLY needs to tell the Spurs what a Red Rocket is. Now the dog wiener hits a three. TD rejects BJ. Red Rocket (Matt Boner?) misses, but Marion tips it out of bounds. Finley travels and hits. Whistle? Better not call it on Marion. SKYNYR!!!! A nice surprise he's been. Somehow TD scores on Nash. Stat gets a dunk finally, and one. Good head fake for our Saviour. 41-35 Suns.

(6:22) Stat makes it an old fashioned three ball, and it's back to seven. Skynyr guards Duncan well, but somehow the Suns get called for a D-3? I didn't see who was in there, but someone better be aware of those little white lines. YES!!! SKYNTASTIC WITH THE BLOCK ON DUNCAN!!! Hill tries to go through Vaughn instead of around or over him. Time out for some odd reason. 42-36 Suns.

How did Wile E. Coyote get a job in San Antonio? Don't they know his work history?

Bonner schools Amare from the corner, and Hill tries a little too hard to help. marion's defense wasted on Finley, and Duncan scores over Amare. BJ did his job, though. Nash lets it go out of bounds. Weird sequence. Amare covers Bowen on the wing, and Skynyr comes to double? It goes around the horn, and another three. Diaw and LB coming back in. That's a good idea, since they got us the lead to begin with. Skynyr hits again. KT who? Good job Nash! Bonner pushed his arm out, and Nash went the other way. But Diaw wastes the effort with a good miss. SKynyr kinda misses that open look, but he's earned a pass. Um...what just happened? Nash to Diaw, then his pass just kinda dribbled out of bounds? No one touched it? Really?

(2:50) Tie game as Bell loses G-Knob on the back door. Bowen gets to know Skynyr intimately and gets popped for the foul. Nash turns it over again. Give it to Diaw on the elbow, Mike. Manu misses badly after he falls backwards for no reason, and we got our first Donaghy whistle. Maybe he was whistling his next foul? Time for more corporate manipulation of our brains. 44 all.

Note to self: Do not get future daughter a pony. She wants a cell phone. Yeah...like I'm going to trust a teenage girl with a device that charges for every minute she opens her mouth to her friends. Replay shows that the whistle was called only when Amare secured the rebound, as Knob takes the stripe.

(1:37) Suddenly, the Spurs are hitting 49% to the Suns' 48%. Diaw posts Finley, and the ball finds LB just in time for him to miss the three. Diaw rebounds the other end. Then spins, dishes to Amare who gets the bucket and foul. Number three for Fabio. I gotta say, I'm liking what I'm seeing from Le Boris tonight. This is good. Very good. Amaremisses the freebie, but we're tied until TD goes glass yet again. 22 in the first half? Are you serious?! Amare gets hit on the other end, and it's two for him.

One of two for Stat, and his career FT% continues to dwindle. Good call! TD walks again! He's made a career out of that shuffle step, and he ain't getting away with it tonight. Imagine if TP were in there. Diaw slips and slides and scores easily. Suns regain the lead with under a minute. Then Duncan does it again. Bell drives in, and things are looking good. The idea, though, is to come out strong in the third. Nash rebounds Knob's miss, and Diaw misses the last shot. Check it out y'all. Suns lead 51-50 going into the half. Stay tuned for the half time report. Jey needs a break!

Halftime

Well, the Sun are holding their own. Can't say I like Duncan going off for 24 and 12 in the first freakin' half, but Amare's not doing much worse than KT did. It seems that Marion's defense is wasted without Parker in the game, as his usually spectacular weakside help is irrelevant with TD going glass every time.

TC calls out the Suns' defense, which was good for a whole quarter. Diaw is the key to this game because he's the only guy SA can't defend in any way. He's too small for their bigs, too big for their guards, and his passing is tremendous in a half court game like this. He's off to a great start with 8-3-3, and I look for coach to use him a lot more in the secod half. LB's doing well compared to the playoffs, but he's missing too many open looks. Maybe the Spurs are still in his head, as a lot of his shots look short, which means he's rushing them.

The rebounding is atrocious. The Spurs are +8 overall, and +5 on the offensive glass. This is NOT a good rebounding team, but the Suns are actually worse. We've only seen Skynyr for 6 minutes, and that needs to change as well. Nash has yet to score, but he's got 5 assists. He needs to take a little better care of the ball, though, as he has 3 turnovers already. It's not like he's been hounded too badly. All the mistakes are easily fixed, and the team just needs to come out swinging in the third quarter. A little more defensive activity, and the Spurs won't know what hit them. The Suns are just a step slow, which tells me their energy is down. Figures.

Ginobili is almost nonexistent with his 2-9 shooting, and no one outside of Duncan is doing any real damage. Note to Shawn: Double fast and hard! Trust your teammates to rotate. If they don't, it's on them. There should be no reason the Suns lose this game if they just focus and play with some energy on the defensive end. Bottom line...slow Duncan a tad more, and this game is ours. He's the only one hurting us.

3rd Quarter

Nash shoots a tech for some reason. Oh neat. It was on Bowen. Hill misses, but let's keep an eye on Shawn off the ball. He's just kinda standing there. Good job by Nash with the hard double, then takes the charge. Stat blows the pass to Hill. Good idea, bad execution. Suns half court offense looks lazy, and Nash misses his patented sideways fall away. Duncan can't get position on Amare, but Vaughn hits. Hill goes in and hits again. Think he might have been useful last year? Amare lets Vaughn go by. At least he boxed out. Bell misses another three, and here we go again. Good man defense by Stat! Tries to score over TD. Seems he's about an inch too tall for that maneuver. Nash finally hits the net, and we're tied again. Marion faces up Horry hard, and there's a foul?

(7:18) More good D by Amare on TD. Nash's shot is way off. MARION HUSTLES and saves it to Nash. The Fresh Princess shoves Nash into Vaughn, and the refs screw him again. Duncan gets it alone inside, and Marion picks up another foul as he slaps the ball away. TD to the line. Odd no timeouts called so far. Duncan misses both.

(6:04) Shawn gets the rebound, but the refs disagree and call it out of bounds on him. Hill fouls before the ball is inbounded, and no one but the uni-colored zebras understands why. One of two for Knob, and Bell secures it. NICE!!! Hill slips the screen, and avoids the charge by dishing to Matrix for the dunk. Hill swipes it from Duncan, and the defense is picking up. Still missing open shots. Horry falls down, cries about it, and gets T'ed up.

QUIT CRYING YOU BIG BABY!!!

(5:57) Nash hits the freebie. Ugly sequence. This isn't pinball! Nice hustle by LB, though. Boris misses the open jumper, then stops the break. Time for some more brainwashing.

Is it just me, or has the game suddenly got really boring? Come on guys! Give me something to work with here! I'm not god or Michelangelo! I can't create a man out of clay!

Leander reminds us how old the Spurs are, and no one cares.

TD works on Diaw, who does a fine job according to me, not so much according to Jack Nies. Maybe he should watch for that forearm Duncan's throwing. Duncan breaks character and hits both.

(2:53) Geez. Moving screen on Marion. Balki scores through everyone, and Bowen finally gets busted for riding Nash. LB looks indecisive with the ball. Amazing how often the Spurs foul while the Suns aren't shooting. Nash drains the rainbow through the bucket, and we're only down by one. Nash stops Balki from making it to the whole, and Barry decides that it's easier to move the feet than take the hit. That's a blocking foul, Rick Junior! LB gives us the two point lead, then somehow Balki gets away with the goal tend. Diaw passes up a lane shot, but it was a good pass. Bell's three, however, was not so good. Barry makes them pay, then LB still can't shoot long. 65-65.

Suns are keeping it close in the third, which is better than previous match ups. But this is a Spurs team without Parker and TD's front court side kick, so this score should look a lot different. Credit the Spurs defense a little, but these are some open shots the Suns are missing. At this point, it's all in the head.

5-15 for the Suns, 6-13 for the Spurs. Yikes.

(1:58) Oberto taps Vaughn's miss to Hill, and we're in the red zone again. Skynyr's out there finally, LB HITS THE BUZZER BEATING THREE!!! Oh, look. Balki get's another late whistle, this time from Eric Lewis. Skynyr got nailed with a Balki elbow, and we're back in Donaghy territory. Two freebies, and the Spurs are down by 1, 68-67.

(1:03) Diaw gets the tip! I'm telling you, he is key to these match ups. Seems he prefers the tough ones. YES! Barry saves it to Leandro, and Finley doesn't give him room to land. Foul on the Finster, MEEP MEEP to the line. Let's hope he's cured his free throw ills. 2 for 2, and we're happy in Sunsland as the Suns push the lead to five.

Good defense on TD, and Barry takes and misses a 30 foot three ball. Suns rebound (YAY), and Hill hits another midrange jumper off the dribble. OMG!!! Vaughn finds a wide open Duncan, whose three inch vertical gets him stuffed by the rim...TWICE!!! Time runs out, and the Suns are up by seven going into the final frame. 74-67.

Some blonde bimbo who can't act for crap is excited. She gets to buy shoes AND gets free tickets to a Suns game. I wonder if complimentary binoculars and oxygen tank come with that.

I gotta say, I'm VERY disappointed in the advertisement selection on channel 45. It's like watching Nick at Nite for commercials. It's all about the rerun, baby.

4th Quarter

(9:00) We come back to Balki cutting the lead to five. Finley hits a lengthy three, and this could be interesting. LB makes his beautiful leaner in the lane. Man, I can see Ginobili's bald spot from here. No three for Barry, but he gets the deflection on Leandro's shot. Ugh. Great defense by Skynyr wasted as the ball rolls to Balki in the corner for three, and it's a one point game. That was dumb. Hill just throws his arm into Barry, and the ref has no choice but to call it. Someone has to box out Duncan. The guy can't jump, ya know. Hill drives and Vaughn picks up his fourth. 77-76 dipwads.

(7:47) Hill gets two free throws, and makes both to retake the lead. Skynyr does a great job keeping TD out of his comfort zone, and Marion picks up the miss. LB picks up a fade away, and the lead grows slightly. Skynyr gets schooled that time, and no one came to help. Diaw airs one out, and it may as well be a pass to Duncan. Pop takes no chances, but he does take a timeout. 80-79 Complacent bunch.

I'll be honest...I'm bored off my ass. THIS is Spurs basketball. I hope we don't meet them in the playoffs. Not because I think we'll lose (I don't), but because I can't stand watching this borefest. I'd rather watch frogs mating.

Oh, look, Balki knocks over Raja, but he's allowed. It's his world, ya know. Disgusting. DONAGHY!!!

Amare and LB both pass up open shots, and it seems that D'Antoni has a plan to post Diaw. Amare looks unhappy, but it's his own fault for hitting Duncan on the arms. Now if only that consistency went both ways. Amare's so upset about the last foul, he just stands there as Nash passes him the ball. Good thing the refs bailed him out, as Nash gets fouled on the pass. See what I mean about expendable, folks?

(3:20) LB hits a three, and I'm still bored. Diaw's the key. I'm telling you. He got that assist from the post. Stat rebounds Fabio's miss, but LB leaves the three about that many inches short. Can someone call a foul on San Antonio, please? Leandro didn't fall on his own, ya know. Nash decides that Amare isn't bringing it, so he scores on the screen and roll. Amare gets lost on the pick and roll, and Balki hits another three. Leandro's runner from the wing is a bit too strong, and Oberto picks up the air mail. Raja strips Balki, and we all hold our breath. Amare scores over Manu, and we're back up. Vaughn comes back with a three, and Mike D can't take it anymore. 88-87 Lunesta.

Honestly...who needs Nytol when we have the Spurs?

(1:55) Marion brings the ball up court. Nash drives the baseline and dishes around Duncan's back to Amare, who's promptly fouled on the dunk attempt. Still shouldn't have caused him to miss that one. Is it the knee? He hits one of two free tosses, and I'm fighting to stay awake. Hill blocks Duncan! Still asleep, though. Marion gets a second chance on that New Orleans shot, and it bounces, not once but twice and falls in. Duncan gets in low, but the refs decide that two travel calls on Duncan is a game limit. Instead, Marion gets called for reaching in. I dunno...maybe the head? They'll figure it out after the game when they review their calls and decide they were flawless, as usual. Somewhere, David Stern is smiling with his pants around his ankles, a bowl of cheetohs at his side, and a mysteriously orange penis. 90-88 Plasma Balls.

For those who are wondering, it's the offensive rebounding. The Suns are winning everything else (FREE THROW SHOOTING, TOO!!! I HAD NO IDEA!!!).

Duncan makes a couple of free throws in the clutch, and no one mistakes him for Shaq.

(39.8)OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Nash dribbles and dribbles and dribbles, and suddenly finds Amare underneath and it's NASTY. Then SharkFin hits a three. Bowen looks like he just ate a lemon for breakfast after he's called for fouling Nash. I'd be surprised, too, if I were him. And of course, he draws the offensive foul on Amare. Weak call, but oh well. Amare pops the ball loose, Marion picks it up, a little movement as the break is broke, and Hill hits the open 15 footer. Nice. 94-93 US.

That's the scrappy defense the Suns are supposed to be known for. Let's keep that up, as we try and hold onto this lead. No...I repeat NO THREES AND NO FOULS!!!

PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE THAT ALL THAT IS HOLY IN THE CHURCH OF PURPLE AND ORANGE!!! PLAY SMART!!!

Replay shows a possible foul on that Amare dunk, but it's Duncan, and he's Christ incarnate. So sayeth the Stern, so sayeth the flock.

(17.4) Ginobili drives, throws it 40 feet in the air and hits. Amare gets the bucket on the other end, but it's waved off. Gee. I'm SOOOOO surprised. Funny how they call the foul quickly right there. I tend to agree with Thunder Dan on this one. He didn't dribble, he went straight up, and that's a continuation. They must have forgotten to send us the updated rulebook. Stat makes one to tie it. Then he makes the second for the lead, and Pocked-ovich wants to mull over his options. 96-95

(9.9) Amare's out for defensive purposes, which makes you wonder. Skynyr is on Duncan. Great movement by the Spurs, but the Suns movement is better. Bowen clanks the three, and Hill secures the rebound. Spurs foul immediately, and Hill goes to the line to prove his worth. Sure enough, Grant earns his veteran's minimum, and it's a three point game. Pop's got 20 to talk. 98-95

NO THREES!!! I RE-REPEAT!!! NO THREES!!!

And if you foul, make sure they don't hit the shot.

Yes, I'll admit. I jumped up and screamed when Hill got that rebound. I guess I'm awake now. OK...it was more of a yell a la YEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! But it's all the same when there's no gravity.

Here we go. DEEWOW STEALS IT AND IS FOULED WITH NO ONE IN THE WAY!!!! A crappy free throw shooter, he sure did a number on the bald spot. Two freebies and the ball. Nice. He makes one of two, and they've got to get it to Nash.

So they do, and they call the ticky tack touch foul on Balki the Balding Flopperella. Nash is money from the line, as they say. I say he's ice fucking cold as he misses the second one. No matter, though. Suns win. 100-95.

Yes, that felt good, but we all know what everyone who hates us is going to say tomorrow. Time for another break (yes, typing at this fantastically furious pace is tiring in a strange heart attack way). Stay tuned for the post game, and some smart ass comments.

Postgame

Let the Spurs fan caveats begin. The Suns barely beat a short-handed Spurs team, and Duncan killed our front line, and we got waxed on the boards. OK. We've got that out of the way.

That last one is certainly a problem, as Nash was the leading rebounder for the Suns with 8 rebounds. He and Hill both outrebounded Marion and Stoudemire, which makes me question Stat's commitment to defense. He wandered around aimlessly most of the game, but still managed 3 blocks. He only took 9 shots, but made 6 of them for 17 points. That won't get it done in the playoffs. He was sulking about his five fouls most of the night, and he needs to get over it and just be the nasty freak of nature that he used to be, sore knees notwithstanding.

As I said earlier, Marion's defense is wasted in a game like this, as he has no one difficult to guard. His 6 rebounds might be excusable, considering the Spurs' penchant for hitting threes when Duncan is doubled. Without Parker to slow down, he's too far away most of the time to get any of those rebounds. Still, Grant Hill managed 7, and he was guarding Ginobili most of the night.

Leandro had a nice game, although he took far too many shots. I can't say that any of them were bad, though, as most were clean looks from all over the floor. He just needs to forget what happened in the playoffs and just do his thing. With MEEP MEEP, it's all about confidence.

I'm quite happy with Skynyr's minutes, though I think D'Antoni could find more than 6 per half. Come on...he was a defensive replacement for Stoudemire in the closing seconds. What does that tell you? I'm surpised to see that he only had 2 rebounds and one block, as I thought his defense was at least as good as Kurt Thomas'. Sooner or later, preferrably before April, Mike's going to have to figure out a way to work him in a few more minutes a half. Don't be afraid to bench Amare, coach, especially when he plays like he did tonight.

Now you know why we picked up Grant Hill. It was obvious from the start that this was going to be the Grant Hill show, as D'Antoni was probably as anxious as we were to see how he would help the team against these flaming douchebags. His 22 points, 3 assists, and 7 rebounds are a welcome upgrade over James Jones, who some people still inexplicably miss.

But the story of the game is Boris Diaw. 11 points, 6 assists, 5 rebounds, and one VERY BIG STEAL...you remember...it was the strip of Ginobili on the inbounds at the end of the game that secured the win. This is the thrid game in a row that he's shown why D'Antoni defends him every time he has a bad game. It's that versatility and basketball IQ that will prove instrumental in finally dethroning the Spurs this season. He took 11 shots to get those 11 points, but both are better than the 0-fer he's been bringing this season. He can do anything he wants against San Antonio because they simply have no way to defend him. In a series against this team, he should be the primary facilitator, since Nash will be lucky to see an open passing lane. The Suns have to slow the game down against San Antonio if their shots aren't falling, and Diaw's post play is pivotal for that to work. Tonight showed us how true that is.

That's it for tonight, as my wrists, fingers, and head are quite sore after not having done this in six months. Hopefully, I'll be in better shape on Wednesday, when we do this all over again for another "big" game against Dallas. The Suns will need to step up the energy level in order to win that game, but I won't complain, since the Spurs have a nasty habit of sucking the life out of anything that breathes. A tough win, to be sure, but it's a step in the right direction. This is a sign of things to come, folks. It may take a couple more months to put it all together, but this game showed us a lot of what this team can be come playoff time. Leandro's ability to break free for open looks is there. Grant Hill's midrange game is just what the doctor ordered. And Diaw will most certainly be DEEWOW in a series against the slowest, most boring, dirtiest team in the history of the NBA.

Thanks for following along, and don't forget to tell your friends about Wednesday night!

Panic Attack

2007-12-14T01:15:00.000-08:00

[W]here are all the people who said 'It’s OK if you lose some games early? Don’t work them too hard, don’t turn the screws too hard early.’ Where did those people go?

- Mike D'Antoni

Where, indeed.

They are on message boards and blogs, in living rooms and bar rooms, watching from afar - their words muted by the much louder (hence more influential) voices of the valley's B and C reporters' (Bickley, Bordow, Boivin, and Brown; Coro) perception that there is panic in the streets of Sunsland.

Do these people really represent the beliefs of Suns fans? Sure, there are fans wandering through the season in a haze of a 40-year title drought, and their nerves stand on the thinnest of precipices with the lingering memory of three straight playoff disappointments. There are also those out there who have written off the season long before it even started, wondering how the Suns can win it all in a league so oblivious to its own shortcomings (see: Donaghy, Tim; Stern, David; justice, in). These are the fans who see any sign of failure as justification of their beliefs that the Suns cannot and will not win a title, even in a hypothetical two-team league.

The purpose of the media is two-fold.

1. Question and critique the status quo that precipitates from powers standing on high cliffs overlooking the valley throngs. It is meant to challenge any person or conglomeration who attempts to usurp the freedom of the people for the benefit of personal gain. Unfortunately, the media itself is equipped with the same flaws and weaknesses as any human being on Clockwork earth, and tend to be open to manipulation (see: Iraq, War in; News, Fox).

2. Document history and tie historical events to modern times. The media serves as a recording device that prevents our past from washing away with the passage of time. It is imperfect, to be sure, as the documentarians are human beings who bring their own biases and points of view to these events, but the general idea is that not all of them share the same views with each other. The assumption is that biases balance themselves into something close to objective fact (see: history, revisionist).

Now, the very act of writing and posting my thoughts publicly places me in the pantheon of social, political, and cultural critics and historical human TiVos that have been largely responsible for shaping the attitudes and beliefs of our society as a whole, however small a part I may play. I speak not as loudly as the voices that Mike D'Antoni and his players most often hear, but certainly louder than anyone in a bar room, living room, or break room (by virtue of a larger potential audience). It's a strange place to find oneself, both speaking to and representing two sides at once.

So who's panicking?

Although some members of the media will take the slightest ripple in the tidal pool as evidence of an approaching tsunami (Dan Bickley and Paola Boivin), at least one (Paul Coro) has actually begun taking the time to step back and listen to concerns of the fans who haven't been loud enough for D'Antoni and Marion's ears. I guess that's the difference between a columnist and a beat writer - one's job is to relate the ongoing story line of failure and disappointment, the other's is to put it into a more current perspective. Both are valuable, and both are valid.

Someone is listening to the wrong story.

Taking a more critical look at D'Antoni's question, I would say that he was questioning the media as much as he was the fans. After all, those people didn't drop off the face of the earth, nor did every single one of them do an about-face and join the bandwagon of freak-outs and cliff-jumpers. There have been no reports of mass spontaneous combustion.

We are right here, Coach. We are with you all the way. We understand that losses and losing streaks will happen. We still don't care about the team's record through 23 games of the season. Our concerns have either not been represented adequately, or they have been completely misrepresented in the name of sales and marketing.

How do I know?

I talk to them every day on message boards, in their living rooms, in bar rooms and break rooms. I am one of them.

Here is what we, the shielded masses, care about:

1. Defensive energy.

As far as I know, no one cares about consecutive losses. Games like the one in Minnesota happen, and we understand tired legs, aching backs, and flu-like symptoms. It was just the loss at home against Miami that bothered us. The guys had a day off, they got to sleep in their own beds and spend time with their families. They got to play in front of the home crowd - even though most of the lower bowl is empty at the start of EVERY third quarter. Yes, Shaq and Zo are huge. But they were on the second half of a back-to-back at the end of a long Western road trip. Our boys let us down by not putting forth the necessary energy on the defensive end to take the Heat out quickly and soundly.

It wasn't "just another loss" to us. It was an inexcusable loss, and one that points to an historical pattern of early season malaise that seems to show up throughout the season. We don't want to see that after three playoff disappointments, simple as that. It's not so much about looking ahead. It's about looking back.

2. Boris Diaw.

Seriously...what gives? One day he's right there with us, and then he's gone for two weeks. We don't like hearing the coach say that "he's fine" and that "he'll come around." We don't want to hear D'Antoni blame himself for not playing him enough or for shuffling him around. That's his own fault, not the coach's.

Boris proved to us against the Jazz that he is more than capable of finding his way in the Suns offense with Amare Stoudemire and Grant Hill in the lineup. He played well next to Amare against the Jazz in the fourth quarter, picking his spots to score and dish to near perfection. Like you, Coach, we don't care about his numbers. We care about his performance beyond the numbers. When Diaw chooses his spots like he did in that game, this team (in our completely unbiased and objective opinion, of course) is unbeatable, plain and simple.

(In all fairness, I must say that I was thoroughly impressed with every minute of Diaw's performance against the Jazz...if I hadn't made that clear already. One was quite pleased.)

3. Where's the bench?

I've given up on even caring about the bench anymore. In all honesty, I prefer seeing the top seven or eight players on the court an entire game. I don't like seeing constant stops-in-play and rotation shuffles. I'm in complete agreement with D'Antoni's philosophy here.

I would, however, like to see these guys get a chance when others are struggling. In baseball, position players get a day off every once in a while to keep themselves fresh later in the season. Their substitutes come in and do an adequate job of filling in, then it's back to normal the next day. The baseball season is almost twice as long as the NBA season, so that is not a practical practice.

But if Leandro is under the weather or his shooting elbow is hurting him, or if Raja has a bad tendinitis flare-up, what's the harm in bringing in DJ Strawberry or Marcus Banks for an eight to ten minute stretch? As we saw against the Jazz, Steve Nash and Shawn Marion are capable of carrying the team offensively so long as the defense does its job. I can't see how DJ would be a liability here, especially when the team was 4-17 from the three point arc anyway. And wouldn't a Sean Marks sighting do a number on Diaw if he decides to revert to his passive ways for a two week stretch? None could have been worse in the showing against the Heat, that's for sure.

I don't know. I'm just sayin'.

We understand that the team is going to lose games. It is not impossible to win all 82, but it has never been done before, and there is no expectation that it ever will happen. No reasonable fan is panicking at this point of the season. Really, is there ever an appropriate time to panic? Probably not, but December hardly would qualify if there were. All that any fan of this team wants to see is consistent effort to try and win, and consistent (read: HIGH) energy on defense. Sure, the season is a grind, but that is no reason to take a night off.

Mike, Shawn, Steve - please stop reading the paper. If you get curious and feel an insatiable desire to commit an exercise of self-torture, try to remember this one thing: What you read is not the whole story.

Update: Nash reflects these feelings perfectly when discussing Marion's energy in the Jazz game.

We've got to play with that energy and intensity we played with against everybody. It made the game fun. It made us feel like a team. It made us feel like we could do some things, and we have a future, so it was nice.

Win or lose, that is all we ask. Win or lose, that was fun. Win or lose, just play.

Pride

2007-12-12T08:35:00.000-08:00

(Rated R for language, adult themes, and mild sexual content.)

Can someone explain to me how, a month ago, the team could complain about the fans in the building, then come back home after a long road trip and lay THAT egg on them? And then say "no big deal"?!?! Do these guys really think they're playing for themselves? Is Nash the ONLY one who gets it?

Steve Kerr needs to step down from his office, quit having meetings with management, walk onto that practice court, and reintroduce himself to his team.

"Hi. I'm Steve Kerr. I own five...that's FIVE championship rings. I've played next to the greatest player in the history of the game. He punched my lights out in practice, but he was still my brother in arms. I played next to the greatest power forward in the game, as well as one of the greatest role players and greatest centers. I was also on a team that won an NBA record 72 god damn games! Ya know why we won that many god damn games?

Because we expected to win every time we stepped onto the court. That included the regular season AND playoffs. We made no excuses for losing. We did not accept losses as part of the natural order. We took losses personally, as something WE did wrong, and we corrected them really fucking fast. Other teams may have played great against us, but we were better 87 times, and nobody...NOBODY questioned our heart, our fire, and our dominance.

*whips out his diamond-encrusted gold hardware*

See these? These are my CHAMPIONSHIP rings. I have FIVE. Everyone pull theirs out and show them to me.

*everyone looks around and down at the floor, except Steve Nash and Grant Hill, who both look square into Kerr's eyes*

I didn't think so.

Next time I hear someone say it's a long season, I'm gonna fine you $25000.

*Amare, Shawn, and Boris all clutch their wallets*

Next time I hear anyone say, "they're a great team," another twenty five grand. And the next time you let someone come into OUR house and walk all over you, you'll be suspended without pay one game for every ring I'm holding right now.

Have some fucking pride.

*Boris hides in his locker*

I don't care if it's Tim Duncan, Shaquille O'Neal, Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, and Larry Bird walking onto that floor in their primes. If you don't play them with every ounce of your very being the entire time you're on that court, you're gonna be watching the next five games from the visitor's locker room.

I'm Steve Kerr, and I'm an NBA Champion."

Ya know? Just once, I'd like to hear that someone reminded these guys what it means to be a champion.

They've been through the fire. Instead of tempered steel, we've got charcoal. Instead of a bunch of pissed off players with a huge collective chip on their shoulders, we've got this...

"It's y'all overreacting,"

"We just got to take one game at a time. Y'all be going ballistic when we lose. Like we can't lose games or something. I don't understand it. You can't expect a team to win every game. This is the NBA. People do have good teams."

“Sometimes you all think we can’t lose. It’s just the regular season. It’s a long regular season. We have ups and we have downs.”

"What are we, 16-6? The third-best record in the league? Y'all are blowing it out of proportion. I'm reading that shit in the paper, going, 'Wow.' I’m like 'What is that?’ We ain’t Superman. That game's over with. We lost. Deal with it. Suck it up. We play the Utah Jazz tomorrow night, that's who we got to think about right now."

(Shawn Marion quoted on azcentral and eastvalleytribune)

...and this...

“They did a good job, they had some timely baskets and some timely stops. It’s how you play the game, it doesn’t matter what the records are, you go out there and you play and they were the better team tonight.”

-- Raja Bell

“I don’t think so, I just think we need to have a little more activity. We just have to focus in a little bit more, and I think that’s about it. It is definitely a situation I think we can correct. We’ll see what we can do tomorrow in practice and go from there.”

-- Amare Stoudemire

“We are just not fast to the ball, we are not getting in to people. No legs, somebody had the flu or whatever, but we will cure that. We will get back. And when they are scoring all these points it puts so much pressure on the offense. And then I thought we looked jittery. Although we had nice moments, but 17 point third quarter. Just a little bit out of sync.”

--Coach Mike D'Antoni

(From suns.com post game quotes)

Honestly, does that sound like a team working on building a championship season?

Third best record is good enough? Telling the media (vicariously the fans) to deal with it? Someone else was better? We'll see?

A quick question for our coach - remember the last time Michael Jordan played with the flu? I do. He walked away with another ring.

Of course, I realize that I'm being hypercritical, and that things probably will work out just fine in the long run. But we're supposed to be "enjoying the ride," aren't we? Well, as a fan, I have to say that I enjoy the ride a helluva lot more when my team is winning. I enjoy it even more when they play like they're the baddest bunch of no-good sons of bitches ever to walk across the plains into this sleepy western town.

I've never played professional basketball. I'm no champion, and I never will be.

I am, however, an observer of all things great and small. I have seen enough of The Discover Channel to understand the difference between predator, prey, and scavenger. To be more frank than beans - the Suns resemble the latter when they win, the second when they lose, and the former rarely if ever this season.

"Early in the season" is not a reason or excuse for not trying to win every game. If a player is ailing or aching, let his own stat line show it. The other guys need to pick up that slack and let the record hide it for him.

Communication, team work, and pride know no offseason, so how can none of those be present 22 games into the regular season?

Steve Kerr - you're a champion. You explain it to them.

Best Big Man

2007-12-05T17:05:00.000-08:00

I saw this commercial last month, and went straight to YouTube to look for it. Unfortunately, it wasn't there. Then I forgot about it. Good thing our old buddy, Lupecita was on the ball! (By way of Basketbawful, which is always a great read.)

Best point guard, best big man ... best promo.

Tell me that shit-eating grin by Nash isn't the funniest thing you've seen on TV since the fourth season of the Simpsons.

And here's an all Suns version of the Nike 25 Hangar commercial.

Ex-lax Factor

2007-12-05T12:19:00.000-08:00

OK. Diaw sucks. For the last season + 18 games there has been nothing but excuse after excuse for why Diaw is under-performing. The funny thing is, we had the same complaints about him his first year. We just forgot all that because he did so well against Dallas in the playoffs. The only reason he did that well was that we were down to six players, so he had no choice but to be aggressive. It's no coincidence that the only times he's played well this season were when Raja was out with injury and Amare sat down with foul trouble.

Diaw has all the talent in the world, but he has no desire to use all of it. He's never comfortable shooting (from the field or the free throw line), he's afraid of contact, he doesn't hustle (that game where he got those two offensive rebounds in a row...the ball bounced right to him off the rim, he never went after it), and he seems to believe that he's the best passer on the team. Who in this league would pass a ball handed to them by Steve Nash? Only Boris is dumb enough to do that because he seems to think that a longer shot is a better shot.

I don't care that it's ironic that anyone would be complaining about a guy who passes too much in a league built on selfish play. The truth, as I see it, is that Boris is being just as selfish by looking for the assist, which is obviously more valuable to him than points. He always passes because he wants that stat. It means something to him - so much so that he turns down perfectly good shots to try and get the assist.

I only remember two of his plays from last night against Indiana.

1. The refusal to get on the floor and grab a loose ball that had Mike D'Antoni yelling at him got him benched. Thank god for that, because D'Antoni's been apologizing for Diaw far more than any coach should defend any player not named Steve Nash.

2. In the third quarter, with the shot clock winding down and Indiana making a run, Diaw received the ball just below the elbow on a feed from Nash. Instead of taking the shot with four seconds left on the clock, he passed it to the three point line where Leandro Barbosa (who was 2-8 shooting at the time) had just stopped, forcing LB to rush the long ball as the clock expired. Not surprisingly, he missed, and Indiana got the rebound.

Diaw's play comes across as arrogant, as well as fearful. That is the only consistency about him, and it's time that D'Antoni recognizes his mistake and benches Diaw indefinitely, just as he's done with Marcus Banks. Diaw is hurting the team's offensive rhythm and on-court chemistry.

As a fan, I'm fed up. I just can't take the excuses or the frustration anymore. I don't have a lifetime supply of Maalox at my disposal, so I'd just as soon turn off the TV when Diaw steps onto the court, as I had to last night when the Suns coughed up the lead in the fourth quarter. I can live with poor shooting nights from Leandro, Raja, and Shawn, especially when Stoudemire explodes for 42 points. The rest of the team proved efficient through the trio's cold spells, shooting 62.3% when taking away the combined 12-38 shooting of the Streak Squad.

Those three were still aggressive, which is all it takes to get defenders to pay attention to a player. When it comes to Diaw, though, the Suns may as well be playing four on five because everyone in the entire arena knows that he won't shoot it, even when he's wide open.

It's time for the excuses to end. He's had a year to figure out how to play with Amare. He's had a year to get in shape. And he's had ample time for his ankles to heal. If I were a lower bowl season ticket holder, maybe these words would carry more weight - I do not want to see Boris Diaw in a Suns uniform again until I can be assured that he will put forth 100% effort in helping this team win every time the Suns take the court.

My hands have become blistered from hanging so closely to the frayed end of the rope for so long, and I'm letting go.

Boris was supposed to be the Suns' X-factor because he brings so much versatility to the team. But X is a variable that cannot be known until the equation has been solved, and he has already proved not to be the correct answer. Whatever he can bring, he won't. Whatever he should do, he doesn't. His on-court attitude is far too laid back, even by Arizona standards.

Boris Diaw is not the answer. He is the Unifying Theory of professional basketball - great if anyone could actually solve it, but nothing more than a really big headache for anyone who attempts to tackle the problem.

Forget the Maalox. I need some Tylenol.

A November to Dismember

2007-12-01T14:56:00.000-08:00

The first month and first sixteen games of the season have come and gone, and the long and painful offseason is now a distant memory. Somewhat ironic is the fact that we were looking forward to the season starting just to get our Suns fix, while many fans seem to be ready to bypass the whole grind and get right back to the playoffs - where our misery as fans is usually rooted.

Too early in the season to make any "bold predictions," there are still a few answers to some burning questions that we faced coming into this marathon, as well as a few new questions to ponder.

Can't we all just get along?

Honestly, so far this has to be the most uncomfortable season I've experienced in my tenure as a Suns fan. A veteran of countless message board wars, I'm used to having my loyalties challenged by fans of other teams, as well as those of this team who have never experienced the brand of cynical wit I tend to bring to my observations. Usually the questions die quickly. Then the Suns launched their own fan network site. To make a long story short, the predominant fan type over there almost had me chucking the whole thing, just to avoid being associated with such rabble.

For reasons too complicated for the subject matter of this platform, I won't get into the motivations of people uninhibited by the absence of face-to-face communication. Just know that the lack of eye contact and visual cues (body language) tend to embolden a person to say and do things that would be inconceivable during interpersonal interactions. Internet message boards are the talk radio of the new millennium. A person can say whatever is on his mind, however petty, trivial, or immature, without regard to repercussions because it is so easy to hang up on the caller. People want to be "who they really are" and their opinions to be expressed, if not validated, regardless how little substance any person has to support their beliefs.

That's fine. As the saying goes, opinions are like assholes, and everyone else's stinks. All I ask is that those opinions be based on some semblance of reality and not mere wishful thinking and hope. Fans need to realize that there can be more to supporting a team than simply believing in your heart of hearts that they will overcome and win against all odds, and disagreeing about small aspects does not make one person any more or less a fan than another. Holy wars have been started over less. Don't believe me? Ask the Sunni and Shia Muslims.

Will Shawn Marion's trade request hurt team chemistry?

I can't believe this was ever a concern. Professional basketball players are not fans. They don't look at each other and think, "This is MY guy, he belongs to me and my team, and he'll never ever EVER leave me! If he wants to leave, then it must mean he hates being around me and doesn't love me and isn't loyal to me." Team mates are business associates that may or may not become friends in their employment environment. They are all on the same level relative to management and ownership, and they are all well aware of the implications of trade requests/demands.

Every single one of them wants what is best for themselves, and with that comes the understanding that all are in the same boat and would probably do the same thing if placed in Marion's shoes. As the saying goes, "basketball is a business, and this is just business." Considering that Marion's request had everything to do with management/ownership and nothing to do with his business associates, I don't see how anyone could have bought into the media hype that chemistry would be an issue.

Will the officiating improve?

Apparently not. In fact (read: my opinion), the "quality" of officiating seems to have declined to even darker depths. That game in Miami was a major contributor (along with fan issues) to my self-imposed hiatus, as I just couldn't fathom 1) Amare getting called for fouls when he was taking elbows to the grill all night and 2) Amare getting ejected for demonstrating the disbelief any human being on the planet would display at such an egregious breech of both common sense and common courtesy.

Though not the call in question, this is the same game. This is exactly what Amare had to deal with in that game, and for his trouble, Mark Wunderlich decided to send Amare to the training room involuntarily. And for reasons beyond my comprehension, this very same official worked the game last week when the Rockets came to town. Apparently, Wunderlich is a fan of the early-90s Knicks and Dick Butkus.

I'm not saying that the officials have targeted the Suns. All I'm saying is that the officiating is noticeably worse this year than previous years. I have seen it go bad both ways, including last night when Orlando came to town. Seriously ... JJ Redick gets a technical?

And forget about transparency. We still don't know which of Amare's technicals the league rescinded from the Miami game. Well, we KNOW, but Stern and Co. haven't confirmed. With something so simple and so obvious, why the secrecy? One small chance to show us that things are changing ("We've rescinded Amare's second technical and fined/suspended referee Mark Wunderlich for not maintaining the high level of officiating that we, the league, require going forward..."), and they blew it.

No. According to the league, sitting Bennett Salvatore down to be interviewed by a blogger with two league axemen in tow confirms transparency. As my friend, "Lou Reed" pointed out to Henry Abbott via e-mail, "this Salvatore interview reeks of a PR blitz by Stern & Company to try and deflect well deserved criticism." I won't get into the particulars of Abbott's belief that this was "an honest piece of journalism." Think about it - of all the NBA reporters, of all the legitimate sports media professionals, why was this interview thrown to a blogger? And why have two NBA representatives there to oversee the interview?

How will the new additions fit in?

I'll answer that with my own question - how many times have you lost track of whether it was Marion or Hill guarding the oppositions best perimeter player? Even Tom Leander gets confused at times, especially on offensive rebounds and put-backs. When Matrix missed a break away lay up against the Clippers, and Hill came flying in for the put-back dunk, I thought for a split-second that the action occurred the other way around.

After six games of around 37% shooting, Hill has taken off in the Suns' system. He seems to have found his groove, knowing when to play his midrange game and when to settle for the three (he really likes the corners, it seems). His shooting percentage has grown to a respectable 46.4%, and seems to be on its way to a hefty 48% for the season. And did anyone expect the defense? Going back to any chemistry questions, Hill and Marion seem to be long lost brothers. Their games are in no way similar, they look nothing alike, but they've become interchangeable early in the season. Forget Rashard Lewis. In the upcoming "first trimester reports" from reporters around the country, the free agent signing of the year will be Grant Hill, and that shouldn't change come season's end.

Brian Skinner has been another pleasant surprise. It only took him a few games of limited minutes (coming off a minor injury suffered during the preseason) to blend right in with D'Antoni's style. Why Coach is so hesitant to use him more is beyond even Marvin's vast comprehensive abilities.

Skinner averages 3.9 rebounds and 1.2 blocks per game, which seem marginal until we consider the 11.8 minutes of playing time he averages. To put that into perspective, Brian Skinner is 8th in the league in rebounds per 48 minutes at 15.7, which is the same as Tyson Chandler of the Hornets, and more than Carlos Boozer (Jazz), our own Shawn Marion, Kevin Garnett (Celtics), and Tim Duncan (Spurs).

His blocks? Compare them to the likes of Dirk, Rasheed, Al Jefferson, the aforementioned Chandler, Pau Gasol, and Chris Bosh. Now consider that he averages about the same as all of them in a third of the time. To be sure, Brian Skinner is third in the league in blocked shots per 48 minutes. Think a front line of Marion (22nd BPG), Stoudemire (15th BPG, 13th BP48), and Skinner could shore up the lane? Speaking of which . . .

Will D'Antoni use his bench, now that he has one?

It seems that the Laker game put a big scare in D'Antoni. It was only the second game of the season (with new parts and injured players, even), but it was enough to convince him to stick with his hard-to-crack circle of trust, regardless of the outcome. This despite the fact that his new bench played very well in that game, turning a 30+ point third quarter blowout into a more respectable 19 point loss.

Now we find out that Coach Mike would rather go with an injured Raja Bell than look one seat further down his bench to give Marcus Banks another shot - the same Banks whom Mike promised more playing time if he kept playing as well as he did against Sacramento. Well, he never got another chance to play (four minutes of a game that the entire team played like crap in the first half is not sufficient, Mike). It makes one wonder what is going on behind the scenes that has a guy, signed by D'Antoni the GM to a long term deal, relegated so deeply in the doghouse.

As a fan, I have to tell Coach to suck it up and play the guy. Whatever is happening beyond our view, YOU brought him here. Lie in the bed you made, and let the wins and losses come that way . . . not through your decisions to push an aging defensive specialist who has been feeling like he can't do the one job he was brought here to do. It's not fair to Bell, it's not fair to Banks, and it won't be fair to the fans once the playoffs roll around, and Raja goes down with another torn gastrocnemius.

No, I am not joining the troll bandwagon and calling for D'Antoni's head. Nor do I agree with the assessment that long minutes during the regular season are the cause of problems in the playoffs. I am saying that refusing to use the bench when a player is already injured is risking all of those players' careers, as well as our chance at a title. An injured Bell is not better than a healthy Banks or DJ Strawberry.

Every good amusement park ride has extreme highs, deep lows, and fast transitions in between. The excitement comes from not knowing what thrill lies behind the next corner and hilltop. The first time on any ride is the scariest and most gut-wrenching. It is only after we step out of the car and onto the platform that we can fully appreciate what we've just experienced. We've just gone over the first hill, which bottomed out against Golden State and Houston. Orlando proved to be a ride within the ride. There are still 66 more peaks to traverse and valleys to send our stomachs in three directions at once. There's no sense in riding on a broken wheel that could send us hurtling into the ground at 85 mph.

Hopefully, we'll have a safe go, and the next roller coaster, the playoffs, will be just as intriguing and fulfilling as the current one should prove to be. Let's just hope the park management feels the same way.

Chico's Bail Bonds

2007-11-16T12:56:00.000-08:00

This is a landmark case.

Barry Bonds indicted on perjury and obstruction charges goes well beyond baseball, steroids, and home run records. Oh, no. This is a far more compelling drama than a mere betting scandal or simple sports controversial, series-changing player suspension. This is a case where illegal drugs, America's hallowed historical past time, the American justice system, and hero-worship implicate every last living American in crimes against culture.

We are compelled to pay attention to this story because EVERYONE has an opinion about baseball. Whether revered for its tradition or reviled for its pace, everyone in America recognizes baseball as a cultural commonality. This is why everyone has an opinion about Barry Bonds. Even casual baseball fans, people whose only contact with the sport is the five minutes at the end of the ten o'clock news, "hate" Bonds and want to see him strung up because he (allegedly) cheated. He soiled the records.

Forget the fact that the second most hallowed record - the single-season home run mark - had already been the subject of controversy, not once, but twice before Barry Bonds came along in 2001. Forget the fact that Roger Maris hit his record-breaking 61st home run on the last day of a season eight games longer than Ruth's 60 home run seasons. And most importantly, forget the fact that three years prior, Maris' record was broken by a man now mired in this steroid controversy. That's not even mentioning Sammy Sosa.

EVERYBODY knows who Barry Bonds is. He's that jerk who charges kids for autographs and starts fights in the dug out. He's that arrogant bastard who plays solely for the money, despite his pedigree. He's the angry black man earning more in one year than his father and godfather combined earned in their entire careers, making up for past sins of the white man.

Real or not, that sums up the general perception of the reigning home run king. In mainstream terms, he is very easy to hate. Nothing like that OJ guy. So let's string him up.

This case points to celebrity and race, and it points to our cultural belief of the qualities that comprise a hero, whether that man is a baseball player, a football player, a supreme court justice, or a president. This is a case of a white justice system persecuting a prominent black athlete.

If Law and Order has taught me anything, it is that perjury and obstruction of justice are nothing more than prosecutorial knees to the groin. They are a last ditch effort to bring down an opponent who otherwise would not fall.

Bill Clinton was impeached for perjury, though he committed no other crime. Men with a lot to lose tend to lie about trivial things when put under pressure. This is a biological fact, easily verified by talking to any woman who has or has had a cheating boyfriend. Clinton did nothing worthy of losing office, despite the best efforts of a strong Republican contingent to prove otherwise. They couldn't get him thrown out for adultery or real estate scams, so they tried to get him for lying about it.

Unfortunately for Barry, he actually DID commit a crime. He broke a now 17 year old law intended "[t]o amend the Controlled Substances Act to provide criminal penalties for illicit use of anabolic steroids and for coaches and others who endeavor to persuade or induce athletes to take anabolic steroids, and for other purposes." At least, that's what the prosecution believes. They have a positive drug result from four years ago, and they've had it for four years.

So why now? Why let his trainer sit in jail for a year? Even the LAPD had a strong case filled with tons of incriminating evidence (the knife, the gloves, the shoddy alibi) before they went after OJ. A die-hard conspiracy theorist might say that Bud Selig was behind the delay. They decided to let everything play out knowing full well that Bonds was toast. Now the Steroid era gets to come to a nice clean end, and Selig doesn't have to answer questions as to why it happened in the first place. History can forget that he enabled the situation, if only it can be resolved on his watch in the most memorably spectacular courtroom drama.

Is Bonds really the fall guy for Bud Selig's Steroid era of baseball? Why not Mark McGwire or Sammy Sosa? Why not Ken Caminiti? Hell, why not Jose Canseco? Here's a guy who openly admits to using steroids, is hated by the general population, and is willing to talk. Why is Jose Canseco any less credible a patsy than a record holder, a retired player, a pathetic comeback player, and a dead guy?

Does it HAVE to be the black guy who speaks English?

I have no doubts that the NAACP and ACLU will use this as case study for any future indictments against prominent black men, even if they don't come to Barry's defense. He DID violate the sacred trust of our most hallowed of events. You can bet that ROE V. BARRY will ultimately be one of the cornerstone cases that people point to when looking for answers to grand ethical questions. It will be compared to cases involving girls with names like Monica, Anita, and Nicole, though there are no women involved here. Just men.

This is fascinating stuff. I can't wait to hear what Gloria Steinem has to say about this.

Fan Dance

2007-11-15T11:51:00.000-08:00

At the risk of more bandwagon accusations, I feel I must comment on this whole "fan" issue making its way around the net and local talk radio. Unless you've been hanging by the wrists from iron shackles along a grimy Welsh granite dungeon wall for the past week, you have heard Mike D'Antoni's latest criticism of his "team."

I say "team" because he is essentially calling out a vital member of the Suns team that has yet to show up. Fans thought it would be the Matrix who didn't show up this season, and they hoped that Boris Diaw would (both beliefs proved unfounded in reality, so far), but it is they who haven't bothered to bring their energy to the game. They are the fans at America West Arena . . . I mean US Airways Center.

It all started innocently enough. After the Suns thoroughly dominated the Knicks without even trying on Tuesday night (a game that I thought was awesome in every way because Amare was kicking ass), Coach, for whatever reasons, turned his critical eye from the players and placed it squarely on the 18 thousand-some odd fans who are privileged enough to see the games live.

Almost daily a reporter from some paper or website from anywhere around the world asks him about his team's "sluggish start." His team is 6-2 with injury induced rotation shuffles. D'Antoni has been saying all along that the team isn't quite there yet - that they're still working out the on court chemistry with Grant Hill, getting him comfortable with his role. Amare has been in and out of the line up due to knee problems and a failed Wunderlich test, and now our designated 6th man is showing us why he should be in the starting line up instead of Raja Bell. The team is not anywhere near where it should be and will be in April, but the Suns are still winning. They've had conditioning issues in their two losses, both of which have come on the back end of a twin killing coming off a flight.

The team is 6-2! Where was the team after eight games the last TWO seasons? The Suns started 3-5 last year and 4-4 in the year without Amare. The last time the Suns started 6-2 was 2004, otherwise known as year one of the Nash era. And fans aren't excited. Not the ones who are fortunate enough to attend games, anyway. Remember, D'Antoni called out the crowds, not the general fan base. This was my first reaction:

Season ticket holders act all bad like their the greatest Suns fans in the world just because they can fork down the thousands of dollars to get them, then they make the arena look like an opium den when the Suns are absolutely manhandling a busted down Knicks team. The LEAST those people should have done was boo Isiah Thomas incessantly for being a perennial black eye (no racial pun intended) on the entire freakin' league. Those people in the lower bowl should be forced to give up their tickets to real fans...those of us who would stand the entire game screaming for every rebound, every deflection, and every 24 second shot clock violation the Suns force. Too bad for our players that the REAL fans can't afford tickets to see their team play every other night.

The Suns arena crowd is more San Antonio than Oakland, or even Los Angeles. There have always been celebrities at Laker games, but why are they showing up at Suns games? Why are they drawing the yuppie Northeast Valley snobs instead of the people who absolutely love the team and would be standing up a full 48 minutes of regulation game time, letting our players know how much we appreciate them? When did Phoenix Suns basketball become The Bolshoi?

Perhaps the most inspiring scene of fan appreciation comes at the end of Major League, when the rag tag Indians rally from a run down in the bottom of the ninth for the division title. The die hard fans, the four guys sitting in the left field bleachers with the Tee Pee and the tom toms, the people who had supported the team, even as it bottomed out midseason were all there standing and cheering their team. They rode the roller coaster with their team, and this moment belonged as much to those fans as it did the players and manager. The fans had Municipal stadium rocking so hard that the quake began to spread.

The Japanese grounds crew, who to this point had only said in their native tongue throughout the entire movie, "They're still shitty," pounded their shovels on the ground. Punks and yuppies arm in arm, banging bottles and beer mugs on the bars in front of them sent the shock wave through bars and homes throughout the entire city of Cleveland. The fans united in one thunderous explosion of team worship, and it all started with the few who were there from the beginning.

That can't happen here because the yuppies cut in front of the real fans, and those Teleband wagoners need a televisible reason to have any kind of reaction. It's like they're sitting on set waiting for some "methical" director to yell, "ACTION!"

The Suns are winning early, and the players are doing things worthy of praise. Stop waiting around for a championship that may never come. You had Amare playing like a defensive demon with four blocks and 12 rebounds, not to mention the fact that he literally exploded for 26 points. You had Steve "MVP" Nash collecting 12 assists as his team mates made more than half their shots. You had Leandro Barbosa and Shawn Marion matching each other's point production, as well as collecting five steals between them. You had Brian Skinner grabbing 7 rebounds in 18 minutes, not to mention his two blocks and three steals. Piatkowski made his first three of the season, and Boris Diaw is playing some nice post defense. And you had Marcus Banks . . . well, I can't defend you every time Banks.

The point is, there was a ton of entertainment value in that game, despite any perceived lackadaisical play. So the Suns committed 19 turnovers. Big deal. They outrebounded the Knicks, and that should be plenty to cheer.

I don't believe that Suns fans are "anxious," as Dan Bickley suggests, "I believe a large majority of Suns fans need a serious dose of the two P's: patience and perspective."

I believe that a majority of Suns fans HAVE those two P's. They should have one more P for having to be lumped in with the ignorant fans at the game who feel that paying money is praise enough. They're like bad tippers. They go to the most expensive restaurant in town, receive the best service they will ever get in their lives, are treated as French Nobility, then question the 15% gratuity added to the bill. They have no appreciation for the experience, and the only time they make noise is when they have a complaint.

And Mike D'Antoni called them out. Good. There are plenty of other fans who will buy single game tickets when holders throw away their season tickets. The Suns need fans that understand that it's not about the money, it's about the once-in-a-lifetime experience of seeing the best team in the league play. The arena is a place for basketball fans - for Suns fans - not camera fans or "seen at the scene" fans.

A fan is a part of the team, not "a paying customer."

Crossing the Fourth Wall

2007-11-13T16:46:00.000-08:00

OK, Suns fans, here's the deal. Some of you may have noticed that I've been neglecting my blog duties. As well, you message board patrons may note that I've been a little on edge lately. There's a good reason for it, and I felt it appropriate to share my epiphany with my readers.

Today was a good day. I got my insurance card (finally), the pigeon landed after a long holiday layover, the Death Star arrived, and azcentral's own Paul Coro spoke to me. Now, I wasn't sure why at the time, but upon reading my name in a column by PC made me smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It felt surreal having someone speak directly to me through a professional blog on a corporate website, and then it hit me. Paul wasn't talking to me. He was talking to a person who really only exists online.

It seems that I've been having an identity crisis of sorts, lately, and that response opened my eyes to what is really going on around here. The person writing is not the same as the person speaking (ambiguity intentional). I can actually distance and dissociate myself from the "character" I present online, thus separating myself from the iconic "Jey" (which, by the way, is not my "real" name).

If certain people don't get it, so be it. I am not going to change the identity that I so carefully constructed for satirical use in favor of "political correctness" (by extension, the opportunity to work more professionally).

I've had my integrity questioned, my fanship challenged, my methods criticized, and my insanity "duly noted." And you know what? Fuck* you. The only reason anyone could ever get pissed off at anything I say . . . is that I speak the truth.

You don't like my method for expressing my criticisms? Too bad. Focus on the problem, and don't worry about my attitude. There is no reason that a professional journalist should be speaking directly to a message board personality through his own corporate blog. It is highly unethical, as it shows how much you are forming your work based on external influences. You should be writing objectively - you should not be letting external biases creep into your work. You have enough of your own to worry about.

You don't think I'm a good enough fan? Outdo me. I challenge you to do what I do every day to express my loyalty to the Suns. All any of you do is talk on a message board and write cheaply written first person pseudo-blogs. I put effort into my work. I educate myself in more areas of study for the purposes of informing and entertaining than any of you consider for your own careers. This is not just some dude with an opinion spouting off on the Internet. This is an artist perfecting his craft, and who can ever question that I've chosen the Suns as my canvas? When you've crawled in my skin for three days, then you can question and/or criticize me. Until then, keep your blindfolded cheer leading to your corner closets. I'm working here.

To those who enjoy and appreciate the things I do in the name of Solar Redemption, thank you for your continued support.

There is no Planet. There is only A Clockwork.

To Kill a Mocking Bird

2007-11-09T09:02:00.000-08:00

Now gentlemen, in this country our courts are the great levelers, and in our courts all men are created equal. I'm no idealist to believe firmly in the integrity of our courts and of our jury system. That's no ideal to me. That is a living, working reality. Now I am confident that you gentlemen will review without passion the evidence that you have heard, come to a decision, and restore this man to his family. In the name of God, do your duty. In the name of God, believe Tom Robinson.

Justice can prove too nebulous a concept to properly define in any given context. It involves compromise, a removal of self-evident rights and wrongs to reach a conclusion that pleases no man. Justice is reliant on our faith in a higher power, a sense of equity amongst a grander scheme than we can conceive with human minds. Yet we so often fail to achieve justice because we remove that standard in favor of our own tendencies to favor what is best for us personally.

When a person says that he wants justice, he is really saying that he wants vindication for a wrong that has been committed against him. This is the great fault of our court system, that man is allowed to inject his personal feelings into the pursuit of something that he can never rightfully obtain. Justice is objective, and objectivity goes well beyond any one man's cognitive capacity. We are human. We are emotional. We are subjective. It is a law as natural as Karma.

This condition has led to the erroneous belief that justice is found by weighing what we assume to be right and wrong, balancing the opposing views via attrition. We believe that mutually negating circumstances will lead to a just conclusion, which is really nothing more than deciding whether more rights have been committed than wrongs, or vice versa. This is not justice - it is moral economics, wherein he who has the most evidential gold wins the case.

Only the bravest of men challenges his own instincts in pursuit of justice. Only the strongest of men stands up to the criticism and accusations that he has acted in self-interest, whether his self or someone else's. Only the wisest of men realizes the fruitless nature of the pursuit and admits failure upon completion of his argument. He need not apologize for this failure, as his cause is "good," if not entirely righteous. The only requirement is that he allow Truth to guide him. For this, no man can be accused of doing "wrong".

Aside from human nature, among the enemies of justice are ego, deceit, and hypocrisy.

Ego is a quality of man alone, and it is what prevents him from admitting fault in his own missteps along the path to justice. It also prevents him from considering all necessary information when determining a just course of action because ego, more than all other human traits, convinces us that the decision is ours and ours alone. It tells us that our minds are sufficiently capable of determining what is just, despite the intrinsic objectivity of justice. How else can man be so certain that his emotions are not guiding his decisions if not for that belief?

He does so through deception - both of others and of himself. The mask of objectivity is the greatest lie put forth by our judicial system. Deceit allows us the comfort of coming to conclusions that we can only hope are just, rather than those that actually are just. We have laws, and we have punishments for violating those laws. We assume that, because the laws were written with the best intentions of society in mind through processes involving much debate and input, they must in truth be objective. We lie to ourselves because to admit the truth (that these laws and punishments are in fact based on subjective beliefs of how a person "should" act in his society) is to accept that we are not in control. Man's ego, in essence, forces him to lie to maintain his sanity.

It is very difficult, if not impossible, to control those factors of the human condition. The best that most of us can do is to recognize when we are guilty of succumbing to the pull of our own nature, and do what we can to minimize the effects on our decision-making. Unfortunately for the cause of justice, man is much more likely to form grand inconsistencies in thought and behavior, taking comfort in short-sightedness instead of facing the discomfort of violating his own beliefs. Hypocrisy serves as a short cut through reason, and any challenge to such is most often dismissed as "sour grapes" or "beating a dead horse."

Interestingly enough, humans seem inherently to recognize the differences between justice and its opposite, though most are unable to articulate those differences. Instead of peeling back the rights and wrongs of a situation, people tend to pile them together, search for which is the last on top, and determine that as their justice or injustice. In general, man is unable to cut through the rights and wrongs because that would mean tossing aside their own beliefs of both. Man's personal "right" is his evidence, and to him, to toss it aside looking for the Truth is akin to cutting off his own arm in order to fit through a narrow door.

It is this inability to articulate that allows instances of injustice to fester through time. A person cannot be satisfied until that instance has been resolved, and it cannot be resolved as long as he and his opposition fall victim to their own egos, deceit, and hypocrisy. It turns into a tedious cycle of accusations and repetitive defense, and people would just as soon give up the fight than pursue justice to its resolution.

I am not suggesting that I am brave, strong, or wise. I am, however, suggesting that David Stern is none of them.

The judgements have been made, and the punishments have been served. It has become an academic argument that will continue to flourish until everyone involved learns as much as possible from it. No learning can occur as long as one man is allowed to sink into cowardice, avoiding the consequences of a rash, short-sighted decision that he made. There were many possibilities to consider before making any decisions on suspensions. To wit...

Rule 12, Section VII(c) of the NBA Official Playing Rules says: "During an altercation, all players not participating in the game must remain in the immediate vicinity of their bench. Violators will be suspended, without pay, for a minimum of one game and fined up to $50,000.

The rule does not say "suspended the very next game." It simply states, "one game."

That, my friends, is the injustice committed by David Stern.

Consolation Prize

2007-11-07T12:39:00.000-08:00

Guess who is coming to Phoenix.

That's right. Der Kommissar will be in the Valley Thursday morning at 8:30 to announce that Phoenix will be the site of the 2009 NBA All Star game. All those who are surprised, please raise your hands.

What? No one?

Three instances of an event is enough to form a pattern.

First, there is Las Vegas, a city devoid of NBA loyalties. The anti-gambling commissioner, who once said that Sin City would never see a franchise until the Casinos agreed to eliminate gambling on NBA games, decided that the 2007 All Star game would be a test case to see if Vegas could handle the responsibilities of holding NBA sponsored events. Other than a few NFL-player related scandals, the event went off without a hitch.

Next, there is New Orleans, a city ravaged by mother nature two years ago. The city was on the verge of losing all interest in the NBA completely (not that they ever fully embraced their transplanted team), with speculation that the Hornets should just move to Oklahoma City permanently. Now that the new Seattle Supersonics owners are fighting the city of Seattle for the right to relocate to the City that's OK with you and me, the New Orleans potential fan base proved enough motivation to hold the game below sea level. After all, there is still a lot of healing to be done, and what better way to lift the spirits of a half million homeless people than to rebuild their city for more affluent families in order to put on a good show for the league?

Now, we have Phoenix. We know the story. It's only become worse over time, as Stern suddenly became flexible with the rules when it came time to lay the hammer on his own people. Stern is coming to us for the first time since "the incident," after which he cancelled an appearance at a Western Conference Finals match up in favor of witnessing the "greatness" that was LeBron James and the Cavaliers.

So let me get this straight. Stern basically robbed the Suns of its best opportunity to win a title last season, pissing off an entire state in the process, ran to the hills of Cleveland when he realized that his personal safety just may be in danger (in this laid back Western berg? Please!), and now is showing up with "glorious news!"

Sorry, Dave, but I'm not buying it.

I know he expects the announcement to begin reparations with the most disillusioned and disenchanted fan base this side of Dallas. His history of ego and narcissism speaks to that much clearly. But the All Star game is not a championship. It is a spectacle wherein players waste time and energy, risk their health, and are prevented from spending time with their families mid-season. This does nothing for the city of Phoenix or the fans of the Suns.

We want redemption, not a fucking* carnival side show.

Does he actually expect us to embrace his presence with open minds and forgiving hearts? Does he honestly expect that there won't be a thousand Suns fans lining 7th street waving signs, yelling obscenities, and (hopefully) tossing rotten eggs at his limousine as he makes his way to the arena?

Please. If I had the means, I'd be at the front of the anti-Stern parade with a pair of binoculars and a loaded paint ball gun waiting for him to speed by the blocked off street. (I assume it will be blocked off, due to minor security concerns - such as a loyal fan with an air gun loaded with purple and orange paint balls.)

Sorry, Dave. You've wasted any shot at forgiveness in this town. To every loyal Suns fan, you are the devil incarnate, and you have no business setting foot in the House that Black Jesus Built.

Stay out of our city, keep your shiny token, and give us what we really want (other than your own head on a platter). We want a title, not an All Star game. The best that Stern can do is to keep his cronies out of our way as we march forward to that goal.

To quote the always irreverent Tanner Boyle: Hey, Stern! You can take your apology and your All Star game and shove 'em straight up your ass!

What? Me worry?

2007-11-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

First, a caveat. It was the Bobcats.

Now, to mollify that caveat. The Bobcats are better than the Sonics.

This isn't about the Bobcats, or even the level of the Suns' competition tonight. This is about a Suns team that has a new starting lineup, a new bench, and one that hadn't played to expectations through two-and-a-half games. It is also a Suns team playing without its All NBA center, Amare Stoudemire.

The defense that stymied the Cavaliers in the second half of Sunday's game continued for a full 48 minutes against the Bobcats. Charlotte did not shoot better than 50% in a single quarter, the closest they got coming in a 9-19 third quarter. The 'Cats shot 21-63 the rest of the time (33.3% for the mathematically challenged), including a fourth quarter that saw the Suns' bench empty. That was a 6-20 quarter for the young upstarts, a telling statistic given the Suns' recent history of Fitness Club failures.

It wasn't just the scoring defense, though. The Suns had energy and intensity throughout the game. The Suns were everywhere, forcing 24 Bobcat turnovers, getting into passing lanes for play-disrupting deflections, and beating the Kittens on the boards most of the game. The Suns would have won the battle of the boards if not for a curiously laughable sequence, wherein Jared Dudley missed four consecutive tip-in attempts before finally getting a handle on things for a 10 foot straight-away jumper.

Poor Raymond Felton. He was the most notable victim of the Suns intensity and tenacity, as his legs got tangled with Steve Nash's on a spin move in the lane. Initial X-rays and MRIs proved negative, so I'm hoping the young point guard recovers quickly. He was absolutely manhandled by the Suns, as the contender finally decided that there would be no easy layups. He and Matt Carroll might be having nightmares of Boris Diaw screens and Raja Bell defense between now and their next game in Phoenix.

The Suns asserted themselves, for sure, and it seemed to start with Boris Diaw, who must have gotten the memo I sent about passing from the rim. The French enigma seemed to unravel the riddle of how to play facilitator along side the play making of Steve Nash, as Diaw took Nash feeds strong to the basket for 15 points, and passed to open team mates in rhythm to notch 11 assists. Now the question turns to whether he can take that intelligent, flexible, aggressive play to the court when Amare returns.

Diaw's play was indicative of the team itself. The defense led to a smooth and consistent offensive game that should give Suns fans plenty of reason to remain optimistic. The team actually scored more points (59) in the two quarters that they failed to shoot at least 50% than they did in the first and fourth quarters (56 points, 54.8%). As with the defense, the Suns offense never relented to a scrappy Bobcats team that seemed to be playing more to prove that it could run with the Suns than actually beat them.

That fourth quarter is probably the most encouraging, as the Suns elder statesmen rested the entire period. Only starters Boris Diaw and Raja Bell played significant minutes in the quarter, leaving the door open for Banks, Marks, and Barbosa to maintain a lead that dropped to 21 points before DJ Strawberry (7 minutes) and Alando Tucker (4 minutes) came in to finish the job, extending the lead to the game's final 32 point margin of victory.

That performance by the younger, hungrier, and more athletic bench contrasts last season's debacle against Memphis, in which the Fitness Club coughed up a 34-point fourth quarter lead before the starters had to return and restore order, ultimately winning by nine points. Is it just me, or does 27-22 in favor of the Suns sound more promising than 29-7 against a team of reserves running around like headless chickens?

My boy, DJ Strawberry (a.k.a. the Tasmanian Devil, a.k.a. Tazzy), went scoreless on one shot attempt, but his defensive presence is on par with his new mentor, Raja Bell - maybe even better with his young legs and solid ankles. Two steals in seven minutes is nice, even considering the competition. DJ takes his assignment very seriously, as if he's seen video of last year's reserves. The kid is a tough defender who never takes off a possession, and he plays like he should be the first option off the bench, if only for defensive purposes. My hope is that Coach Mike forgets last season and works DJ into the rotation more as the season continues.

It could prove a difficult decision, though, as the entire bench has stepped up in the first four games of the season. On brutal road trips (four games in five nights), those players will prove invaluable in allowing the big boys to get some much needed rest, as well as allowing Stoudemire the patience to let his knee heal. No hurry, big guy -- the new guys have got your back.

So what do we take from all this? If we're not allowed to panic after three, why should we be allowed so much optimism after four?

1. The team is gelling much quicker than last season. It hasn't taken six months of banging our heads against a brick wall before Boris got the message. Grant Hill is finding his way in the offense, and is proving to bring something very few even considered - defense. And, of course, there's the bench play.

2. Maturity. Amare Stoudemire is now a captain, which speaks mightily towards his development as a player who is serious about winning within the team concept, as well as his ability to maintain a level head throughout adversity. Add to that Nash's even more fiery determination to redeem last year's injustice, Marion's ability to separate the business from the game, the continued development of Diaw and Barbosa, and this team is showing signs that it has indeed turned the corner.

Remember, it is not all about what happens on the court and against which team. It is about attitudes and desires that make this team so fun to watch, so easy to love, and so hard to doubt. Through three games of erratic play and one game of absolute dominance without one captain and All NBA center, the Suns have shown that they understand their goals. They are not as caught up in the trivial matters of trade demands, lack of early season focus, and questionable durability as some reporters here believe that Suns fans are.

I have not worried for a moment whether or not the team would work its way into form eventually. Last season is still fresh in my mind, so how could I panic or think that there are holes to be filled? How could anyone? The only reason that I am so high on last night's win is that it justifies all Suns fans' belief that this team is ready, and that it will go far this season. Four down, 78 to go, and I'm just hoping that the majority of the remaining games look a lot like the one against Charlotte, competition be damned.

This was Phoenix Suns basketball at its finest.

Playing Catch-Up

2007-11-05T17:44:00.000-08:00

I apologize for the lack of entries after the last two games. I was struck with a wicked bout of insomnia (again), and I never feel comfortable writing when I'm over-tired. My thoughts tend to be erratic enough without the detriment of sleep deprivations. Since the games are now officially old news, I'll just stick with some highlights of my thoughts.

November 2, Suns vs. Lakers

Talk about a classic train wreck. Normally, I would have turned that game off before half time, switching back every 15 minutes or so to check up on the progress of the game. I don't like watching ugly basketball, and that was worse than the Pistons/Heat affair that preceded it.

Still, I couldn't get myself to turn away. I don't know what it was exactly, but I just found too much humor in seeing the Lakers hit every kind of shot imaginable in that game. At one point in the fourth quarter, Sasha Vujacic hit a three from the top of the arc, and I started laughing out loud. I guess that makes it a true laugher.

But it was only the second game of the season, so what can I really criticize? I'm sure there's plenty, but I won't bother. Besides, Dan Bickley summed it up quite nicely in his blog. I can only add this: The Suns are a true run-and-gun team. We take their conditioning for granted because they play so well starting in late November, and we tend to forget those first few weeks of the season, when they huffing and puffing their way up and down the court. It's a risk they take by embracing that particular style of play with a short rotation.

As usual, give it time. Amare will heal, Leandro will find his outside touch (and free throw touch, for that matter), and Raja will shoot his way out of his usual beginning-of-the-season cold spell. Well, he will so long as he gets a chance to rest his ankle. Tendinitis is tricky, and only time and rest can fix it. The team will catch their wind. I stand by my preseason assessment, and I won't be surprised or upset if the Suns start the season around .500 after the first couple of weeks. Remember, they're playing seven games in ten days to start things off. A few speed bumps and conditioning issues are to be expected.

November 4, Suns vs. Cavs

Yes, the first half sucked. Big deal. I'll admit that I wasn't too thrilled during the game, falling back on the new "Treehouse of Horrors XVIII" as a sanity saver. (I missed most of it, due to the honoring of Jerry Colangelo at half time and the second half resurgence, but what I saw looked much better than last season's crapfest. I especially dug the take on "Mr. & Mrs. Smith. What it had to do with Halloween, I do not know.)

All digressions aside, that second half could not have been more picture perfect. The Suns outscored the Caves 65-47 in the half, doubling up the the James gang 58-29 over the last 18:21 of the game. What may be lost in the outcome is that it came with the regular six playing almost every minute of that time. Whatever gets the win, I suppose, but we can hardly blame D'Antoni for it, considering the 38 point on 37.5% shooting in the first half.

I think, though, that Banks and Skinner took the fall for Boris Diaw's passive (to be inhumanly kind) play in the first half. Every time Nash got him the ball in scoring position, Diaw thought the best move was to kick it out? Did he forget who he was playing with? Sure, he finished the night with a great line (two steals and two blocks to go with his 50% shooting), but all that passing amounted to a whole THREE assists.

Fortunately, someone had words with him at half time. The Suns would never admit as much publicly, but I'm more than certain that he got his ass chewed out for that first half performance by none other than Steve Nash. "When I give you the ball, you SHOOT!" The result was the aggressive 3D that won our hearts two seasons ago when he won the league's Most Improved Player award. Still, it shouldn't be that way. He shouldn't have to be reminded that he is not the primary play maker, that he is not a point guard, and that his job is to complement the other players on the floor, not to lead and feed them.

That second half team defense was tremendous. Consider that LeBron James shot two free throws the entire game - both coming in the fourth quarter. Guess what folks, that was Grant Hill's assignment. I guess we can forgive his 4-12 shooting, since anyone's offense is going to suffer when he draws the toughest defensive assignment (see Marion's 7-17 guarding the much bigger Drew Gooden, and the 7'3" behemoth Cavs fans call "The Big Z"). Also consider the 22 turnovers the Suns forced, though LeBron James might disagree, saying, "We had a few careless mistakes ... We had some unforced ones that were uncharacteristic of us."

Note to the kid - "some" out of 22 doesn't account for ten Suns steals and two shot clock violations, as well as any charges taken by the Suns. Sorry, "King," but you need to give the Suns defense a bit more credit than that. Citing the half time ceremony doesn't cut it, either.

It was definitely long and something that we weren't used to, and we didn't know either. We came out to warm up, and we had to wait another 20 minutes, so it was definitely tough on us. But it's not an excuse. They did a great job in the third quarter of picking up the intensity.

Correct. Not an excuse, as the Suns had to wait, as well. You could say that it was partly responsible for the Suns third quarter intensity, though. Really, do you think they wanted to lose in front of the man who bore the franchise and essentially built downtown Phoenix?

Again, I digress. I've made my feelings on the matter known, already, yet I can't help but drive the point home every time the Suns meet the Cavaliers. Now if only someone would tell Gary Bender.

Take Me to Maxwell Street

2007-11-02T02:12:00.000-07:00

My family moved to Arizona from Michigan permanently during the summer of 1979. I was still five years old, and we had lived here when I was three, so it wasn't anything scary for me. Oddly enough, it wasn't the Phoenix summer that caused me to dislike living here so much, it was the winter time. Being so young, all my memories were of snow and white Christmases, and I pined every year for that rarest of miracles -- the snow storm in the Valley of the Sun. Of course, it never happened.

When I was old enough, I saved enough money to move to Chicago. It wasn't Michigan, but it was the Midwest, and I had friends there already. It was a blustery mid-May morning when I arrived at O'Hare. My thermal speedometer had gone from 100 to 60 in a little less than five hours, and life was good. I spent the summer enjoying the weather, playing basketball, and experiencing all the gourmet pleasures my friend had told me about.

Two words: Maxwell Street.

I had never had a Polish on a bun before, and I have been addicted ever since my first bite of this pedestrian culinary masterpiece. A Maxwell Street Polish with a sack of greasy, soggy thin French fries and an ice-cold can of Coke (I have since switched to Pepsi) tops anything you'll find in any restaurant of any quality anywhere in the world. But it has to be from Jim's Original, where the sausages are cooked on a large metal grill with onions and pork chops, soaking up the oil and flavor. Throw it on a bun with a few lines of mustard, and we're talking heart attack heaven.

I moved back to the Phoenix area permanently July, 1998. I took a Greyhound bus, and arrived some time in the early afternoon. I stepped off the bus into 117 degree heat, and I was not thrilled.

It was a long trip. I was tired, I was hungry, and I was in no mood to mess around. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that a "Chicago" hot dog joint opened up in Tempe. I was ecstatic. I was excited. Anxious to share my glorious food find with my brother-in-law, I convinced him to go with me and share in the experience. He's from Toledo, and had never experienced a Chicago Polish, so it was an easy sell.

This "Chicago restaurant" (a glorified hot dog stand in strip mall form, the name of which I have intentionally eliminated from my memory) did not grill their Polishes with onions. They did not grill them at all. I watched in horror as the man behind the counter pulled my purchase from a pot of boiling water, placed it on a bun, and loaded it into a wax paper bag with dry, crispy thick fries and handed it to me with a large wax paper cup of fountain soda.

I won't go into all the gory details of eating a bland, watery Kielbasa with grocery store fries. I ate it, complaining about the method of preparation the entire time, and apologized to my sister's husband for wasting his time, money, and taste buds.

Nine years later, the Suns open the season against the Seattle (Super)Sonics, and I'm left with the same feeling of "I'm starving, so I'll take it, but this is not how this should be."

Excited as I have been for the new Suns season to start, I knew that it wouldn't be everything I remembered from the playoffs (controversy and results notwithstanding). The level of play, the intensity, the feeling that we were trying to accomplish something huge -- I didn't expect any of it. But it's Suns basketball, and we have ALL needed a fix for months.

I won't go into all the gory details of watching a bland, sloppy game with preseason defense. Unlike the Phoenix faux Polish, the Suns game against the Sonics yielded at least some positive feelings.

For starters, Amare Stoudemire is beginning to look like the Amare of 2004 again, despite his wind not having caught up with his ambition quite yet. The Suns went to him early and often, and he did not disappoint as he threw down two arena rattling slams, the second of which came on a moh-hoh-honsterous windmill as he flashed across the lane, passing two Sonic defenders before reaching across his body to throw it down -- HARD. He even managed to avoid committing his first foul for a full ten minutes, which has to be a record for him.

The big question about Amare coming in, though, concerned his defense. Well ... he only had one foul in the first quarter. He had two in the second, but one of them was the offensive variety, and the other came off the ball (admittedly, I don't remember even seeing that foul). Some might say that Amare decided to let guys blow by him rather than reach in late. Well ... is that not an improvement over previous seasons? He still managed to record a steal and a block to go along with his 11 rebounds.

And Nick Collison, who should be best remembered by Suns fans as snagging 21 rebounds in a Phoenix win last season (25.5 points on 22-31 shooting and 18 rebounds in two of the games against Amare), went off for a whopping 8 points and 7 rebounds in 33 minutes this time. It's not Defensive Player of the Year, but it's a step in the right direction.

Speaking of the right direction - did I mention that Marcus Banks seems to have turned the corner a bit? I think I did. I'll admit that I was not too thrilled with his performance in the first half, but three straight three pointers to account for 9 points in a 13-0 run that brought the Suns back from a nine point deficit late in the third quarter goes a long way to repairing bad memories. So I think I'll forget that first half. I'll take 12 points and one turnover in 14 minutes of playing time every night, though I would like to see a few assists in there, as well.

On the opposite end of the three-point spectrum stands Grant Hill. I cannot for the life of me figure out why he took seven shots beyond the arc, but he did, missing all but one. He started his scoring with a pair of free throws that he received after being fouled while slashing to the basket. It was a great move, and he should have stuck with it the whole game because those were the only two free throws the Suns shot in the first half.

Fortunately, someone talked some sense into him. He got back to his slashing ways in the third quarter, gliding beautifully to the basket twice in the second half to go along with one of his long-sought-after mid-range jumpers. I don't mind if he takes the occasional three once he gets comfortable with it in a game situation, but for the most part, I want to see the Grant Hill that brings the mustard to the picnic. Seriously...he scored 13 points on 12 shots while missing six three pointers. There's no reason that he shouldn't average five or six fouls shots a game. If we wanted to see a bunch of threes clanking off the front of the rim, the team would have kept James Jones.

For the most part, I am happy to have had a taste of the sustenance that I've been missing for the last 5 1/2 months. For certain, there are improvements to be made, but we have another six months to worry about those. These are our Phoenix Suns, and they hadn't won a season opener in the Steve Nash Era, Part Zwei. I take what I can get with the full faith that the team will work itself into shape, just as it has every season for the last three years.

And in doing so, they just may bring that rarest of miracles to the Valley of the Suns. I'm not going back to Chicago, so I hope it snows in Phoenix real soon -- preferrably in June.

I'll take that over a Maxwell Street Polish every day of the week.

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda

2007-10-31T17:54:00.000-07:00

First, a word from the commissioner.

I'm not considering any range of disciplinary action, but my powers are very broad if I choose to exercise them.

- David Stern

Well, the Suns have yet to play a game in the 2007-08 season, but the consensus is already in. They can't beat the Spurs. They're too small. The "experts" agree, mostly, that there's no reason not to pick the defending champs. That's the logical choice, it seems.

Fine. If the "experts" want to pick the Spurs by virtue of last year's title, who am I to argue?

I'll tell you who I am. I'm the guy who relishes any opportunity to put the self-proclaimed experts in their collective place because they too often pander to the league itself rather than exercise honesty (let alone journalistic integrity). Here we have a group of professional individuals who would sooner rewrite history than acknowledge it. This is the same group of individuals who whispered "hypocrisy" just loud enough and long enough to claim that they did their jobs in exposing David Stern for the egomaniacal autocrat that he makes himself out to be.

The people who pick the Spurs to win this year - more specifically, those who believe the Suns can't beat the Spurs - are forgetting something very important in their reasoning. The statistics do not support their argument in the least.

I like logic, so let's see how I do with it.

The Suns out-shot AND outscored the Spurs in the series.
The Spurs outrebounded the Suns by only 10 -- FOR THE ENTIRE SERIES.
The Suns had only two more turnovers and one less blocked shot -- FOR THE ENTIRE SERIES.
The Suns were called for 10 fewer fouls, but the Spurs shot 14 more free throws.

I don't consider myself a statistical nut by any means, but I do rely heavily on stats in order to get a good idea how games are won and lost. They are a handy tool, if somewhat imperfect. But a few things jump out in light of those bullets.

For starters, the Suns defended the Spurs shooting very well, holding them to 45.7% shooting for the series. Conversely, the Spurs allowed the Suns to shoot 47.4%.

Then we look at the possessions in rough terms (as I am in no mood to calculate a more accurate estimate - the inherent flaw being the arbitrary measure of free throw attempts in the equation). The Spurs grabbed 13 more offensive rebounds, stole the ball 16 more times, and committed two fewer turnovers in the series. That's an extra 31 possessions that yielded all of four more field goal attempts than the Suns. Of those four extra shots, the Spurs made six fewer than the Suns. That might be explained by the free throw disparity, if not for the fact that the Suns committed 10 fewer fouls.

Now consider the intangible evidence.

The Suns annihilated the Spurs in game two, winning 101-81.
The Suns humiliated the Spurs in San Antonio in game 4.
The Suns lost game five by three points in the last three minutes shorthanded.
Game three.

Here's the thing - the Spurs never won a game by double digits. They also blew a double digit fourth quarter lead in game four at home. The Spurs won the controversial game three by seven points (I'm not going into that one again, as I've already spent countless hours breaking down that game).

OK. So the Suns were able to hang with the Spurs in that series. That's why the departure of Kurt Thomas will supposedly prove so detrimental to the Suns' chances this year. Of course, that is completely ignoring the fact that the great KT held Duncan to a measly 26.8 points and a minuscule 13.7 rebounds per game.

Some might argue - with a decent amount of validity - that the Spurs got a lot of help from suspect officiating in that series, at least in the third game. They certainly got a boost from Stern and his "rules are rules" stance on the suspensions of Amare and Boris for the aforementioned game five in Phoenix.

What was that about a logical choice?

But of course, "the better team won" and I should "stop whining about it!" For the record, I am over it as much as anyone in the Suns organization -- like Steve Nash.

I'm not into worrying about what Stern is doing. I figure I'm not going to win that battle anyway. I've lost it in the past so why bother getting involved.

If I let it, it'll distract me. I'll be pissed off all the time. And that's like every other week, a decision comes down that you don't understand. So just stay out of it. Bowen stepped on Amaré's ankle and kneed me in the balls. No suspension, whereas other guys...maybe less infractions get suspended on the first one. I'm not in the office. I don't know why they decide what they decide. Therefore, I'm not going to even bother to start judging their decisions because I don't get it.

Sure, we're all over it as much as we can be. What's done is done, and there is no changing the past. Still, I find it rather telling that the former MVP is heady enough to allude to an apparent miscarriage of justice, especially in the face of Stern's new-found leniency when it came time to drop the hammer on the referees, without explicitly questioning the decision.

Again, I'm not complaining about anything. I'm just pointing out pertinent facts that need to be considered when making our preseason predictions.

The Suns as a team understand just how close they were to climbing the mountain in the 2007 playoffs. To a man, they will all say that they should have and could have won that series. It was just an unfortunate turn of events, to be politically correct. And to their credit, they believe they can win it this year.

I have yet to see the annual D'Antoni quote that "anyone can win it" and that "there are a lot of good teams" who can beat any other team in a seven game series. If you pay attention, you will hear it in the words they so carefully choose when speaking with the media. They believe, so why doesn't anyone else?

No one wants to question the outcome, that's why. What's done is done, and we can't change the past, so only the end result matters. The Spurs won, so they should be the favorites this year.

Barnyard excrement.

Those who cite those simplistic reasons for picking the Spurs to beat the Suns - should they meet in the playoffs again - are either ignoring history or are completely oblivious to the evidence available to anyone with an Internet connection, which all of them obviously have at their disposal.

Being the pseudo-logician that I am, I do not buy into conspiracy theories. There is simply too much speculation and not enough tangible evidence involved in drawing such outlandish conclusions about a simple sports league.

But that doesn't mean that I can't indict the professional media for corporate kowtowing. There is far too much money to be made in sponsorship deals and marketing campaigns for these "journalists" to question Stern's integrity - and by virtue of that, questioning the integrity of the league itself. After all, Turner and Disney have invested a fortune for the rights to carry NBA games and events. Why bite the hand they're feeding?

That does not explain, however, our own local media's reticence to address Stern's hypocrisy or their reasoning for predicting another Spurs championship. I can't imagine why they would so easily fall in line with media entities that consistently disrespect Phoenix, its fans, and its teams.

Remember how Dan Bickley and Scott Bordow fumed at the idea that David Stern would dare lay blame on the Suns assistant coaches for Amare's and Boris' game four actions?

Neither do I.

It didn't happen.

If a journalist is asked by his editor to make his predictions, and he chooses the Spurs, then that's his prerogative. I won't argue it because there are good reasons to go the safe route. But when those reasons ignore the facts, I have to question what the hell is going on out there.

Maybe I'm wrong about Stern. Maybe he isn't such a raving egomaniac out to usurp control of the league from its owners. Maybe he's absolutely right.

Maybe his powers ARE that extensive.

Update: That rug is getting lumpy. Keep sweepin', boys.

It's Our Time

2007-10-25T22:23:00.000-07:00

I am not a fan of the Suns marketing campaign this season. I understand the idea behind Planet Orange - the tie-in to the science museum or whatever, embracing a population of fans outside Arizona, staying away from the "pressure" of an Eyes on the Prize billboard - but the whole thing smacks of cold and tentative thinking. It says nothing about the path the Suns have taken over the last three seasons (let alone the 36 seasons prior to those), and it doesn't speak to the sense of urgency and determination the team is sure to show us this season.

It's Our Time. That's my marketing slogan for this season. Three words that say everything that every Suns fan already knows.

1. We've been through hell, and we're not going back.

2. We've been robbed of too many chances.

3. We're not giving it away, and no one is taking it away. Not this time.

4. We're not waiting to win anymore. We're taking this one, once and for all.

I've been telling myself those things all summer long, trying to remain optimistic in light of the biggest travesty of (in)justice in Suns history. After watching the Suns in action tonight (sans Barbosa), that optimism has turned to pure confidence.

Yes, it was "just a preseason game." But we learned a lot about this season's Suns in those 48 meaningless minutes of basketball. This was our first look at the new components of the team, and a lot of the question marks are now exclamation points.

Amare Stoudemire.

It was obvious from the start that D'Antoni's goal was to get Amare Stoudemire into the flow of the game as quickly as possible. Despite a few early miscues (three turnovers in his first five possessions), I have no doubt in my mind.

He's back. No question about it, Amare showed the athleticism and at least flashes of the dominance that put him in elite status the first year of the Nash experiment. He also showed signs that he stuck to his word that he would improve his defense over the summer.

Early in the first quarter, Stoudemire found himself guarding Carmelo Anthony. Carmelo tried to drive. Amare was there. Carmelo spun around to free himself. Amare was there. Carmelo went up for a shot. Amare was there. All in one sequence, Amare Stoudemire defended Carmelo Anthony better than anyone I've seen in the last four years. Stat was so quick on Anthony, he made Shawn Marion look like . . . well, Amare Stoudemire.

Grant Hill.

At the end of the season, the "experts" will be lauding Steve Kerr for pulling off the best free agent signing of the summer, forgetting that they ever downplayed it in light of the Kurt Thomas trade. Hill showed the quickness, finesse, and court savvy that made him a seven-time All Star.

A few weeks ago, near the end of training camp, Mike D'Antoni posited that Grant Hill would take around 150 three pointers for the season, and would make around 40%. Hill was 1-2 from downtown (would have been 2-3 if not for the tip of his sneakers on the line). If those numbers pan out for the season, then D'Antoni will be called a prophet by the same "experts" that criticized his assertion.

Marcus Banks.

What can I say? We all wanted him traded last February, and the sentiment held throughout the off-season. It seems, though, that a year in D'Antoni's system under his belt just might pay off. He maintained his focus, didn't get called for any stupid touch fouls, and he kept the ball and himself moving on offense. He only took six shots from the field and made two, but one make was a three pointer in the flow of the offense, and one miss was a slashing lay up that spun off the side of the rim. We forgave Leandro for that last year in Utah, we can let a few of those slide with Banks.

He also recorded the game winning assist, milking more than 20 seconds off the clock in the process. We didn't see that last year - at all.

DJ Strawberry.

Banks looked especially good when paired with the late second round rookie, who showed us all why he was so coveted by the Suns. He also showed 29 other teams why they were fools to pass on him 58 times. The kid can play defense, for sure, and questions about his poor shooting seem completely unfounded, as he shot 6 for 9 from the field, including 2 for 4 behind the arc (both of them long, high-arching rainbow bombs).

Consider that his second three-ball turned out to be the game winner, and we can only conclude that DJ Strawberry is indeed the steal of the draft. Was I the only one who jumped out of his seat yelling "DEEEEEEE JAYYYYYYY" after that shot? (And we're expected to believe that GMs are better judges of league talent than every day sports writers? Please.)

As for his defense - believe the hype. DJ knows the meaning of "no easy baskets," as at least two of his five fouls were committed knocking a driving guard out of the air at the basket. The kid is certainly tough. To top it off, he had an amazing sequence early in the game where he guarded Allen Iverson - one of the quickest players in the league with THE deadliest cross over. As Amare did with Carmelo, DJ did not give an inch to AI. The current killer cross over became Iverson's fight for life as he tried to maintain his dribble with Strawberry covering like a wet blanket on a burn victim.

The defense, the shooting, the passing, the toughness . . . I'm convinced. It is a personal tradition to choose one Suns player at the beginning of the season as my designated favorite for the year. In 2004, it was Amare Stoudemire. In 2005, it was Boris Diaw. Last year, it was Leandro Barbosa. DJ Strawberry earned the honors this year.

Although the Nuggets put up a 66 point first half, mostly due to lackadaisical defense by the starters, there really isn't much to worry about on the defensive end. The Suns came out flat, which is understandable considering the magnitude of the meaninglessness of the game. The Nuggets seemed to be taking the game very seriously, though (Iverson and Anthony weren't even going to play, apparently, until they found out that TNT picked up the game).

So the 12 point first half deficit didn't bother me, especially when the starters came out of half time with a completely different attitude. Suddenly, it was a game. It seemed as if they didn't take too kindly to the bench crew outplaying them. The starters were responsible for both double digit deficits in the half. And the bench (particularly Diaw, Banks, and Strawberry) were largely responsible for the recovery in between.

Some question marks still have to be straightened out, though.

Alando Tucker.

He definitely has an inside game, but Alando Tucker is not ready for prime time with the Suns. Like Strawberry's defense, Tucker's shooting came as advertised. All of his points came underneath the basket, where he showed some nice moves, spinning and juking defenders out of their socks and onto his back. But that's not the Suns' style, even though the offense curiously went through his post-ups late in the fourth quarter. It may be a handy skill come playoff time, but Tucker surely won't be in the rotation when the games mean something. A year of working on his perimeter game (and that godawful jump shot) and absorbing all things Grant Hill, and he definitely has a bright future on the team. But this is now, and his place is on the bench.

Sean Marks and Brian Skinner.

We didn't get to see much of Brian Skinner aside from a couple of nice rebounds, a blocked shot, and his woeful free throw shooting. He at least seems to have a good attitude, cheering his team mates from the bench and giving congratulatory high fives going into time outs.

I have to be honest...I'm not liking Sean Marks. The offense that I saw from him against the Nuggets didn't make up for the lack of defensive presence. He finished with eight rebounds, but none of them memorable. More on my mind are the moments that he forgot to box out or the times he got beat to the basket. The energy is there, but the results aren't.

One key moment came in the fourth quarter, with the Suns holding onto a five point lead. Marks was on the floor with the smallest lineup possible (Banks, Strawberry, Tucker, and Piatkowski), and he ended up shooting a three from the corner that clanked off the side of the rim and ricocheted back to him. Unfortunately, he had already released, leaving Tucker and Strawberry to fend for the rebound. Not a good sign when the only big man on the floor is shooting threes and guards are forced to fight for rebounds.

Yes, it was a preseason game. I know it. You know it. But the point of the preseason is to get the team in shape, as well as to work out the rotation. Aside from some sloppy first half play, the gang did alright.

The team scored 116 points, and the high scorer was Grant Hill -- with 17 points. They also converted 26 assists, less than half of them by our main man and 3* time MVP Steve Nash. Ball movement and balanced scoring are the hallmarks of Mike D'Antoni's system, and this team looks to have a better handle on it than all of the previous teams.

There were some negatives to the game, to be sure. The rebounding was mostly atrocious, but Amare and Shawn played a combined 41 minutes for the game. It did seem to pick up in the second half, though, when the Suns decided to turn on the intensity. And like the scoring, there was nice balance all around. As long as Marks stays closer to the paint, and Skinner stays healthy, the rebounding should be no worse than previous years. Hey...we're Suns fans. We should be used to it by now.

For now, I'll be happy with what I witnessed during our lone televised preseason game this year. It was a good snapshot of what we have to look forward to this season, and I think the Suns are going to be a lot better than most people are predicting. Sure, many "experts" have the Suns winning the Pacific Division (duh) and finishing among the top three in the Western Conference, but they all seem to stop there.

We've not been given a chance to advance deep into the playoffs this year due to the loss of Kurt Thomas ("the only guy who did a decent job on Tim Duncan"). But the Suns aren't playing Tim Duncan for the title. They are playing 29 other teams, and will be facing the usual suspects in the playoffs - except the Lakers, who will be watching from the ESPN Zone in San Bernardino.

I'll remind everyone that these same "experts" picked the Suns to claim the eighth seed and get knocked out of the first round in the 2006 playoffs. If that doesn't jog your memory, then I'll have to say that the Suns were a torn calf away from making it to the Finals that year. That team also did it without the services of Kurt Thomas. Now we have Amare Stoudemire, Grant Hill, an improved Marcus Banks and Leandro Barbosa, and my new favorite Sun, DJ Strawberry.

Experts, indeed. Someone should remind them . . . It's Our Time.

Red Stern

2007-10-25T15:25:00.000-07:00

10-26 Update: A more rational take from *gasp* a corporate media outlet.

Stern told the truth about one thing. Regarding the report that six NBA referees were punished for violating league gambling rules, Der Kommissar insisted that it wasn't the case, that the investigation is ongoing.

As it turns out, not six but ALL of the referees gave admitted to rules violations, and not a single one of them will be punished. I repeat -- NOT A SINGLE PUNISHMENT IS FORTHCOMING!

Why?

"Our ban on gambling is absolute, and in my view it is too absolute, too harsh and was not particularly well-enforced over the years," Stern said. "We're going to come up with a new set of rules that make sense."

Now, every Suns fan on the planet (Earth, not Orange) can look at this and wonder aloud with absolute validity, what happened to strict enforcement of the rules? Rules is rules, and they are not open to interpretation, let alone absolute dismissal. But here we are, facing a controversy that strikes the very core of the league's integrity, and suddenly the rules do not apply.

Worse, they are "too absolute."

I have made it clear in previous entries that I shy away from expletives on my blog because I am well aware that it is read by the professional media. That being the case, I want to set a good example and show them that it is OK to link to A Clockwork Orange if they so desire (this has yet to happen, of course, but still I hold out hope). But I have also made it clear that there are exceptions to the rule -- ANY rule. So here goes . . .

Are you fucking kidding me?!

A rule that cost the Suns their best shot at a title was said by Stern to be set in stone. It is not open to interpretation, and the only way to change it is if the owners tell him they want it changed, public outcry notwithstanding.

It seems Stern fancies himself a clever man, as he chooses his words carefully. It "was not well-enforced," thus opening the door to act in a manner contrary to recent history. The "leaving the bench rule," after all, had precedent (though it wasn't needed). Ten years of precedent. And it had been "well-enforced" consistently.

Not to open that racial can of worms again, but exactly why is a rule governing an 85% black population so well-enforced, but a rule governing a (roughly) 70% white population not so well-enforced?

I've been down the racial road too often recently, so I will leave that argument for someone less qualified to tackle (that's your cue, cosellout). I just wanted to throw it out there, since it just conveniently popped into my mind.

Back to Stern's double-speak.

"It's too easy to issue rules that are on their faith violated by $5 Nassau, sitting at a poker table, buying a lottery ticket and then we can move along," Stern said. "And by the time I got through and I determined going into a casino isn't a capital offense ... I'm the CEO of the NBA and I'll take responsibility."

It's too easy to issue rules like that? What does that even mean?

How about rules that are, on their faith, violated by natural human instincts, such as leaping to a team mate's side when he's been body checked into the scorer's table? Was that too easy? And since we're on the subject of his dictatorship, why did Stern not take responsibility for Robert Horry's game four actions and distribute justice...well...justly?

I don't want to get into what I think about David Stern's thought processes, as they are ugly and almost inhuman, in my opinion. He cares more about protecting his ego than he does about the league of which he is the CEO (an inaccurate statement, to be sure). He blew up when Dan Patrick dared question his authority, and openly lied to Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon on Pardon the Interruption.

In sum, I am not surprised in the least at Stern's reaction to the news that all of his referees are crooked. They may not have been "hanging crimes," but they were clear rules violations. I am also not shocked that a majority white population is allowed to determine the validity of these rules on his own, while a majority black population is constrained by "the letter of the law."

What does surprise me is that players, coaches, general managers, and owners across the league aren't stopping in their tracks and saying, "Wait...what the fuck did you just say?" I'm surprised that they would let a man control their incomes with such singularity that anyone who questions his actions is destined to lose said income. This is, after all, a business. Teams are in the business of winning championships, because it is through championships that marketing deals are struck and ticket prices increase.

Capitalist competition requires a level playing field wherein each entity has an equal shot at burying the competition, so long as its strategy is sound. A dictatorial leader (commissioner and CEO are NOT equivalent in the least) handing out arbitrary rulings that differentiate each entity within the capitalist structure serves the purpose, not of the league and its components, but that leader. Thus, market capitalism has become totalitarian socialism, where the society serves the purpose of the dictator, and any dissension is met with swift and blinding retribution within "the letter of the law," above which stands his personal security force. If they can't break the rules, then what's the point of even having rules?

As I said in my last entry, it is no wonder that Stern has so excitedly cozied up to a traditionally dictatorial socialist regime in China. It seems that he has modeled the league in the image of Mao Tse Tung's red giant. Only one question remains.

Which of us will stand before the tank?

I humbly volunteer.

Mao's the Time for Change

2007-10-21T11:02:00.000-07:00

Check this out.

Six of the alleged twenty referees Donaghy named in his Federal Court soul cleansing have been "reprimanded and punished" by the league, according to the NBA's version of Major Hochstetter, Stooge Axin'. That's all well and good, but what happened to the league's promise of transparency after the whole Donaghy scandal blew up in the first place?

Not only is Stern and Co. not releasing the names of the referees in question, they are refusing to expound on the infractions, as well as leaving the punishments to mere speculation. There are so few clues, Scooby and Shaggy couldn't figure this one out.

I could be wrong, but I was under the impression that ANY gambling activity is a terminable offense. The whole point is to maintain the integrity of the league's officiating so that no one can even question a referee's motivations after a dubiously called game. Tim Donaghy was supposed to have ruined the non-transparency privilege for everyone involved, including the commissioner and his hired goons.

I understand that it is a person's right to maintain his privacy to the extent that the law allows (not stepping on THAT slippery slope, thank you). But it is part of the NBA officials' collective bargaining agreement, as well it is in each contract, that any type of gambling activity is off limits. An NBA ref isn't even allowed inside a casino, except in the off season, and then only for shows. They are not allowed to be in the gambling arena. Coupled with the entire concept of "integrity," does it not stand to reason that he surrenders that particular right the moment an official scribes his name onto the parchment?

If the infractions are so minor, then there certainly should be no issue in at least releasing those details. But Stern only relates that the rules violations were "not hanging crimes." In light of the Game 3 debacle, should that not be for the fans to decide? A parolee can't even get a DUI without being tossed back into jail, and, in basketball terms, this is far worse than driving home drunk from a bar.

At this point, with Stern in Europe and his mouth-piece tightly sealed until his return, I can only assume that we will have to wait for any relevant details to leak out over time - whether by design or through public pressure. (Not that Stern ever bends to the will of "his" league's fan base.)

This is, indeed, a disturbing turn of events that only serves to exacerbate the frustration felt by fans in general - and Maverick fans in particular - as the league decided to send another mixed message to its players and fans. OOPS!

If you haven't heard - and you probably have - Josh Howard got into a little scrum during Dallas' preseason game against Sacramento when *surprise!* Brad Miller floored little Devin Harris. Apparently, the comparably sized rookie Nick Fazekas proved too tough a match. Howard punked Miller from behind with a forearm (just ONCE can't one of these guys face up like men?), and that was pretty much the end of it - the "worldwide leader in sports" glossed over the rest.

Not surprisingly, Howard found himself suspended for the first two games of the regular season, just enough time for him to return for the home opener against -- Sacramento. I hope it's televised, as well the league's marketing guru's do, I'm sure. Now, I don't know if this next part surprises me or not, considering recent history. Miller has not been, and will not be suspended for two games . . . or one game . . . or at all.

It was our determination that the penalty of an FFP-1 assessed at the game was appropriate.

Typical Stu Jackson quote, isn't it? I'm sure the Flagrant-1 foul was appropriate at the time it was called. But it directly lead to a retaliatory response from the opposing team. Why is it that the league does not take into consideration the full effects of a player's actions when determining punishments? Why does it always seem to start and end with that player's own two hands?

The league is essentially telling us (and however many kids watch the games nowadays) that there is nothing wrong with throwing a blow, so long as nobody throws one back.

"Go ahead, kids. If someone frustrates you, or if you're upset for some reason only known to you, go ahead and shove the first person you see to the ground. But make sure he's smaller than you. We don't want any fights to break out."

Too glib?

So the Robert Horrys and Brad Millers of the world get free reign on all the Devin Harrises and Steve Nashes, apparently. And god forbid a bigger guy comes to the little guy's rescue. As the league has shown us, there is nothing worse than standing up for the defenseless -- literally.

No wonder David Stern is so busy trying to sweeten relations with China. After all . . . one good dictator deserves another.

Update: Now the league says that the New York Daily News report that six officials have been reprimanded is untrue.

"There is no truth to this report," [league spokesman Tim] Frank said. "The commissioner has made it clear that we will have details to share once the review is completed."

Fine. So no one was punished...yet. That doesn't change what Stern has already said on the matter, that they're not "hanging crimes."

My ego likes to think that he read this entry and realized that what was reported would be unacceptable. He'd better realize that, even if he isn't literate enough to read this.

Blast from the Past

2007-10-20T04:04:00.000-07:00

It had to happen. No matter how hard we try to progress as a society, some wise-acre has to degrade every argument into a question of race. Two years ago, Dan LeBatard of the Miami Herald questioned whether race played a role in Steve Nash's first MVP award. (I have looked, but the original article is nowhere to be found.)

The accusation was categorically dismissed by the voters and the majority of the mainstream media, as well as most NBA fans. Why? Because to the majority, Steve Nash absolutely deserved his award.

Not willing to let the issue die and focus on more relevant examples of racism in sports, a person working under the guise of "mainstream media watchdog" decided to dig up a dead horse. Jack McCallum responded, and away we went.

I won't bore anyone with the ugly details, nor will I rehash the argument I already made in the comments of the last link. I am not impressed with the arguments coming from either side, and I don't even think it should even have been brought up. That's the problem with bringing up racism - one side says that racism is inherent in our society, and the other side denies any racist (or racially reasoned) intent. Neither side will budge, and no minds are going to change . . . not when the haystack is not hiding a needle.

There is one central question posed in this whole argument. "Is it possible that race was a factor that the voters considered?"

That is a loaded question because there is only one answer. Yes - it is possible.

Mathematically speaking, any theory is possible until it is disproved. The only way for an event to be impossible is for its probability of occurrence to be measured at ZERO. So now that we have determined that it is, indeed, possible that race played a role in the 2005 MVP voting, all the nutcases get to come out of the woodwork screaming, "AH HA! I KNEW IT!"

Hold the phone there, Sparky. "Possible" does not imply "probable." It is possible that a meteor will strike the earth and destroy 75% of the species on the planet before I publish this post. It is possible that a bolt of lightning will strike your house, burst through your computer screen, and effectively lobotomize you while you read this.

The question then becomes, "How likely is it that race played a factor in the MVP voting?" That ain't spinach, Popeye. Those are worms.

Cosellout questions the integrity of the mainstream media for not attacking this issue more vehemently, further claiming that the media is responsible for sweeping potential racism under the rug. He wonders why they dismissed it so quickly.

I'll tell you why.

It is irresponsible journalism to take such an inflammatory topic and apply it to a debate regarding a meaningless award. Voters make their choices based on reasons known only to them, unless they tell us themselves. And if you ask them if race played a role in their decision, they will tell you that it did not. Case closed. No conjecture. No accusations. It is better to take a person at his word in an instance like this than to force them to defend themselves for something they did not do, however "subconsciously."

What do these people expect to do? Psychoanalyze through speculation and response? Force the voters to question their own decisions that they based on statistics, player performance, and team record with and without the player in question?

There were many valid reasons to vote for Steve Nash as MVP, not least of which is the incredible turn around the Suns experienced when he jumped on board - 33 games, good for fourth best in league history.

It is a fun debate, not an important one. To lay such an important and divisive issue on top of it is to spoil the fun of being a fan of the NBA. There are many cases of REAL racism and racial issues to discuss in sports.

The reason that this issue has no place on this topic is that there is no evidence to support the notion that race was involved in the vote. There is, however, plenty of evidence to support the reasons given by voters.

The human subconscious is not an appropriate place to look because it is not only completely out of our control, it is unprovable. That makes the argument moot. There is no reason to call into question the integrity of these people based on circumstantial evidence (white voters, white player). For that very reason, every court in the country would throw out the case if it were brought to them.

That the mainstream media glossed over this issue is not an indication that people are afraid to talk about race. On the contrary, it is an indication that they are responsible enough not to light a cigarette in a dry forest. Dan LeBatard was deservedly lambasted for even suggesting such a thing. He covers Shaquille O'Neal for a living . . . that should say something about the credibility of his argument. It is based less on reality and more on unsweetened vine fruit.

Your question has been answered, Cosellout. Now drop it before it gets ugly. We have enough to worry about in this world, and whether or not Steve Nash's whiteness won him an award is in the bottom one percent of the list. It didn't. Get over it.

You'd do more good questioning the media's refusal to point out political inconsistencies regarding the war in Iraq. Focus on their refusal to ask the really tough questions. Anything but an unprovable set of circumstances surrounding such a trivial aspect of life that the doesn't even concern the majority of the population.

You want to discuss race? Ask Al Sharpton why he has targeted Isiah Thomas, and not the entire mainstream music industry.

Nigga, please . . .

Update: I made an error in judgement. I hadn't read McCallum's full response, taking for granted that I was reading someone who takes his writing seriously. For this, I apologize to Mr. McCallum.

It seems that in Cosellout's zeal to defend himself, he committed an unpardonable sin in my book. Every quote he used from McCallum's piece was taken completely out of context. Cosellout attacked the weakest points of McCallum's argument, and he ignored the full scope of it. This is known as a strawman argument, and it is a fallacy.

It is shameful. Here we have a purported media watchdog violating basic journalistic ethics in order to discredit "real" journalists, wondering why no one is talking about this particular issue.

Here's a clue, jackass: It's called journalistic integrity.

If your goal is to change the way people think about the media, then you might want to consider exemplifying the standards to which you wish them to be held.

Think Tank

2007-10-12T04:44:00.000-07:00

Today is not a good day to be a Diamondbacks fan.

Forget the game one loss in the National League Championship series. Forget the controversial call by second base umpire, Larry Vanover. The Colorado Rockies played a whale of a game, and no call by any umpire was going to change that.

Maligned for a week and a half by the national and local press for not selling out fast enough for their tastes, Diamondbacks fans finally showed some passion for what happened on the field. Unfortunately for all concerned, some fans took things a little too far last night.

Now, far be it from me to tell another human being how to conduct himself. I'm all about personal responsibility, although I have no problem expressing my opinion on the behavior of others. As a cynic, it is my job to point out such things, however hypocritical it may seem. (I am not above assaulting myself for infractions of my own standards.)

Some fans at the ball park absolutely need a thrashing for what transpired. For goodness sake - throwing BEER AND WATER BOTTLES onto the playing field? Yes, fans were upset about a controversial call that turned a hard slide into second by Justin Upton into an automatic double play that didn't advance the runner, Chris Snyder, to third. It was a rally killer, to be sure, but it is at times like that when fans need to think about where they are and what they are doing, and to get behind their team, not handicap them.

The Diamondbacks were down four runs, anyway, so there is no reason to think that an umpire cost us a chance to come back late. Stephen Drew, as much of a fan of him that I am, blew it by swinging at the first pitch with the bases loaded. The D-Backs have done a lot of their damage all season with two outs, so why ostracize a man who actually put the team into a position to do just that?

Well, that's the psychology of sports in action.

As I mentioned earlier, Diamondback fans have had a rough ten days. We had to sit through the godawful, shamefully biased commentary by Dick Stockton and Ron Darling during the team's sweep of the Cubs. The broadcast director had a nice hand in the action, too, making sure that the entire country saw every Cubs fan in attendance at our home park. The bottom line was that Cubs fans are among the best in baseball, while Diamondback fans are fair weather front runners who wouldn't know how to conduct themselves at a game without the assistance of the Jumbotron.

Almost in unison, we cried foul. "East coast bias!"

Even after the team completed the sweep, the attention still lay on the difference between the teams' fan bases. But the NLCS was supposed to change things. Suddenly, we were in a big series against a team in the same boat as our team. A bunch of young unknowns who have no business being there (despite their combined 180 regular season wins). Finally, we could get past all the fan talk and focus on two great stories in baseball. That is, until the Rockies sold out before we did. Still, it should not have been an issue, according to team president, Derrick Hall.

This is traditionally a late-buying fan base. Tomorrow we are just a few thousand shy, so should sell out for it, too. Our crowds really should not have been a focus of the national media. This fan base is extremely supportive, and though we had several seats open this week, we were confident in our fans.

Now everyone who took the time to defend Arizona fans on blogs, message boards, and in e-mail have to suffer the effects of a self-fulfilling prophecy. They said we were bad fans, and a few (presumably) drunk idiots gave the whole country reason to believe that we are the worst fans in professional sports, and there is nothing we can do about it. Here's why . . .

Due to the disproportionate coverage of "loyal" Cub fans and "disloyal" Diamondback fans, the national media has made evidence to the contrary (that is, there are more "good" D-Back fans than "bad") irrelevant. The general population is primed to believe anything negative said about us. This is known as the "availability heuristic." This phenomenon of the human mind suggests that we are more likely to make judgements about a person or situation based on the information that is most readily available to us. Id est, if there are a lot of articles and images portraying Diamondback fans as disloyal front runners, then people are going to assume that it is true.

No amount of information that indicates otherwise is sufficient to counter this effect due to another neat little phenomenon known as "confirmation bias." That is to say, we tend to seek out information that supports our point of view while discarding any information that contradicts that perspective. Regardless how many images we see of fans cheering their team passionately, a person arguing against us will only remember things like beer bottles thrown onto the field of play.

This effect enables a person to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of dissonance that freezes our brains when our stern beliefs are challenged. We have been primed to believe one thing, and anything that shows our beliefs to be false causes us to react irrationally, going so far as to dismiss such contradictory information (ironically enough) as but one example that does not change the overall perception created by the availability heuristic.

Moreover, people have a tendency to attribute another person's behavior to flaws in that person ("Stop making excuses why you guys aren't sold out!"), rather than seeking to understand the circumstances surrounding the behavior in question. This is known as the "fundamental attribution error." When explaining the behavior of others, it is much easier to assume that the other person is flawed in such a way that makes them fundamentally inferior to us rather than understanding their situation (there are myriad reasons for not selling out games, and they are all valid). Oddly enough, it is also a person's tendency to allow situations and circumstance to explain his own behavior. Egocentric thinking at its finest (though I simply call it hypocrisy).

Opposing fans are not the only people at the mercy of these psychological phenomena.

Interestingly enough, home field advantage can be both a blessing and a curse. Umpires and officials are human, subject to the same rules of behavior as the rest of us. Did anyone else notice Tim McClelland's expanded strike zone after the incident? "Self-verification theory" explains this event nicely. The fans boo the home plate umpire incessantly, so the tendency is to act in accordance to that behavior. Basically, we act the way people expect us to act. This is often confused with having a stubborn ego, but the reality is that it is a difficult phenomenon to overcome. If the fans support the officiating, the officials are more likely to give the benefit of calls to the home team. However, if the official feels that he is being "attacked," the calls will tend to favor the visiting team. (This is why Utah is such a difficult place for many NBA teams to play.)

Ultimately, there is nothing an Arizona fan can immediately do to repair the damage that has been done by a few lousy individuals. There is no spontaneous fix. The "ultimate attribution error" is in effect. The assumption is that, if some fans are barbaric Romans throwing rocks into the Gladiatorial arena, then they all must be barbaric Romans. We cease to be mere "fans." We are now "bad fans."

Guess what, folks -- perception is reality in this world. We have been painted by the media as dispassionate, ignorant fans, and the actions of a few have now cemented that perception. We had a chance to overcome all the bad press, but a few moronic individuals just could not control themselves, and now we all have to pay for their indiscretions. I don't like it, and no one really should.

The only thing we can do now is to be more cognizant of our behavior. Think before we act and speak, aware of the fact that changing a person's mind is near impossible without the right tools and the right amount of time. Of course, it would help if our local boys (Dan Bickley, Nick Piecoro, Bob Young, et al) took the time to present as many examples of positive fan behavior as possible, fighting the urge to fall into the trap of perpetuating myths started by an irresponsible media and even more irresponsible fans.

Granted, these journalists are as well subject to these same rules of human psychology, so we have to rely on their strengths as individuals to admit fault first.

As for the rest of us, it will be in our best interest to remain as non-combative as humanly possible. Find examples of positive fan behavior, and shove those examples down their throats. They can't ignore facts forever.

As I said earlier, it is near impossible - not completely impossible. We have to be aware of how we function as people, and work around that. If we have the intelligence to recognize these patterns, then we have the ability to counteract them.

We can start by not throwing beer bottles onto the field.

Information on the terms used can be found here.

The Bitch is Back

2007-10-07T05:24:00.001-07:00

Let's see...where to begin? Right where I left off should work, then we'll zoom from there.

One last comment on the Matrix issue, first. I've done my defending, and if people refuse to listen or attempt to understand, then I'm not going to tie them to a tree and brand them with a human conscience. This isn't about Shawn Marion. It's about the fans. And for all of you, I have one simple question (read: complicated human psychological inquiry).

Three months ago, practically everyone was drooling at the prospect of dropping the Trix for the Tick. When we found out his camp squashed the prospect of the deal, Marion was blamed for putting himself above the team and the fans. Suddenly, Marion asks for a trade, and EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD blasted him for his disloyalty to us, called him the biggest cry baby ever to have walked the earth, and reminded him that he makes too much money not to be happy.

The question: What the hell is up with THAT?! He's a goat for not wanting to be traded, then he's a goat for wanting to be traded. And we blame HIM?!

Think about it for a while, then get back to me. I anxiously await all the hypocritically dissonant replies.

Now to join the blogger bandwagon and take a look at the upcoming season. It's too early in the morning (meaning I've been up all night) to do the whole *link thing, so forgive me if I don't take anyone's hand and guide them to my sources. I get them from the same places you get your NBA information, anyway. All they really do is make me look somewhat credible, and what's the value in that...really?

Let's start with the negative things people have had to say so far, then we'll work our way up to the positive.

"Robert Sarver is a cheap, money-grubbing owner whose only interest is in making money."

Duh.

He's a businessman. He paid $400 million for the franchise. People don't spend nearly half a billion dollars to lose money. They spend it to make more money. Fan or not, that's how it is. If you don't like it, YOU pay the tab.

Yeah...I didn't think so.

"Steve Kerr is mortgaging the future of the team to save money now."

No, he is not. Admittedly, I was skeptical about the course of action taken early in the offseason. It wasn't so much the moves he made as it was the timing. Giving away Kurt Thomas before the trading deadline when there were no viable big men replacements on the market seemed a rather odd maneuver to me. Apparently, he may have been one of the sources of chemistry issues on the team (unsubstantiated, but still a reasonable assumption given his disappearance from the rotation the second half of the season).

So let's look quickly at what Steve Kerr sacrificed in the name of "puppetry".

Kurt Thomas: $8 million + $8 million off the books for the price of two unprotected first round draft picks, and that oh-so-useful trade exception. In return, a second round pick.

Now, the myth regarding trade exceptions is that they allow a team to trade for a player more expensive than those a team jettisons without regard to the luxury tax. The truth is that it only allows the team to exceed the salary cap (hence "exception", as in "cap exception", not "tax exception"). The team still has to pay any luxury tax of salaries which exceed the cap. For the Suns, this is completely useless, as they have no intention of exceeding the cap by more than a couple million dollars.

People need to look at this move realistically. Yes, Kerr gave away KT. Yes, KT was our only low post defender. But he also missed a significant number games due to injury during his tenure here, he couldn't handle more than two laps up and down the court, his rebounding was negligible, and his shot blocking non-existent. Kerr gave up two first rounders the team would never use (seriously, to expect them to be of value to the Suns, i.e. lottery picks, is to believe the Suns will miss the playoffs next year and in 2010. Have you seen the core of young players on the team? Yeah...get over it.)

This move saved a boatload of money, allowing the team to keep Shawn Marion (Garnett's in Boston, it's not Shawn's fault, get over that one, too.) They were also able to sign a younger, stronger, more athletic big man in Brian Skinner, whose stats are almost exactly the same as Kurt's were last year. Figuring in the luxury tax, that's equal production with greater potential at one-sixteenth the price. What more could you want? A 28 year old Shaquille O'Neal?

James Jones: $3 million + $3 million off the books for the price of a first round pick.

Um...Grant Hill, anyone? Half the price, ten times the skill and experience, and a consistent jump shot. A 15 minute-a-night bench player for an All Star starter? BARGAIN!

"The Suns didn't even try to trade Banks. He's useless!"

Yeah...remember when Barbosa was "useless"? How'd that turn out? Now, I'm not saying that Banks is going to get Leandro's jumper any time soon, but there is a case to be made that young scoring point guards take time to learn and adapt to D'Antoni's system. Given another chance, Banks could prove to be a valuable asset when it comes time to shut down guys like...oh, I dunno...Tony Parker?

And if anyone thinks that teams were knocking down the door at AWA (USAC, my ass) to pry Banks away from the Suns, then they paid too much for whatever they're smoking. (Hint: Lots of powdery residue means you got junk.) Look, Marcus Banks is a talented guy. He's shown a lot of poise and class by keeping whatever frustrations he may have behind closed doors. And whenever he found court time in the middle of a game, he played his heart out. D'Antoni's system is very complicated. Banks is young and relatively inexperienced in the league. Give it a chance.

If he takes off this year, one of two things will happen, and neither of them are bad for us.

1. He will prove to be a valuable commodity, thus giving the Suns some flexibility at the trade deadline if need be.

2. He will prove to be an invaluable commodity, and he'll see significant minutes in the playoffs.

"Amare just had his THIRD knee operation, and he's only 24 years old. And we don't even have a back up for him, yet!"

The Suns DO have a back up for him. He played two years ago, and did a very fine job of helping the team reach the conference finals for the second straight year. How quickly we forget that amazing team of destiny and chemistry, defying all odds in the face of adversity. Kinda reminds you a little of the Diamondbacks, doesn't it? (I just HAD to throw a D-Back reference in there. 2007 NLCS, baby! Ahem...anyway...)

Also, the procedure Amare underwent is quite common in professional sports. Anyone who's run up and down a hard court or been tackled into the turf understands the unusual wear and tear the body goes through, and sometimes little messes have to be cleaned up. It happens ALL THE TIME, and players come back in a few weeks ready to go again. Do yourselves a favor and watch the injury reports this season. You'll see just how common arthroscopy is in all four leagues, and you'll see a lot of familiar names on the lists.

Did I miss anything?

Good. This brings us to all the wonderful things we have to look forward to this season.

Since I brought it up, do you remember that magical season two years ago? Amare went down due to microfracture surgery on his left knee, and the experts spelled out the doom the Suns faced that year -- an 8th seed in the playoffs with a quick first round exit.

Six months later - Western Conference Finals. And it took two more injuries to stop THAT run (the aforementioned Thomas followed by Raja's freak calf tear).

Now imagine that small-ball, run it down their throats, pass it till they're puking dizzy, shoot the arena lights out attack a bit bigger, a little stronger, and a helluva lot more athletic with the addition of Amare, Hill, and rookie hopefuls Alando Tucker and DJ Strawberry (who has been drawing raves from coaches, players, and fans for his tough defense and surprising ability to handle the passing duties, and whose improving jump shot has drawn Coach D'Antoni's attention). Replace Kurt Thomas with the younger, stronger, and faster Brian Skinner, and Tim Duncan can sell beer in the stands for all the Suns care. As Kobe Bryant has shown us time and time again, one player cannot beat the Suns.

Speaking of Grant Hill, my mind hasn't changed on what he brings to the team. From the reports coming out of camp, he's looking as quick and spry as he did before injuries derailed his career. Add to the mix the Suns training staff and legs that haven't been overworked for the last five years, and there's reason to believe that the Suns could very well produce five legitimate All Star candidates this season (Leandro will be a tough guy for coaches to leave off, even if he does go to Brazil that weekend).

And apparently, Shawn really likes what Hill brings to the team. Apparently, Marion has been feasting off Grant Hill feeds all week, and we all know that Shawn likes when someone hands him a free meal. That includes the "I'm not here to steal your thunder" dinner Hill had with Marion. These guys are going to get along juuuuuust fine, I think.

Speaking of chemistry, all seems right with the world in Sunsland, according to Paul Coro's reports from camp (I'm going to make a concerted effort to be nice to the home town guys this season, as the national pricks will consume all my venom), which leads me to believe that Shawn was not the cause of those issues last season, as is the common belief. I can't say for sure, as I'm not a locker room attendant. But if the Suns say that they're happy, if Shawn is smiling and enjoying the company (and assists) of his new team mates, then there's no reason to suspect otherwise.

And is it a coincidence that suddenly the organization is talking about those issues we never heard about last year? Or does it have to do with the departures of a few veterans who came in expecting to log a full slate of minutes, only to sit helplessly on the bench as Amare and Diaw lost their freaking minds?

Jalen Rose? Gone.

Pat Burke? Buh-bye.

Jumaine Jones? We hardly knew you. (Hell, most Suns fans never even figured out that his name isn't Jermaine.)

Pike and Marks stayed, and they seem to be quality guys who understand their place in the league now. Hell, they're just happy to be getting a paycheck still.

Like I said, I can't say for sure about that, but it seems awfully strange that, even after Shawn's public request for a free ticket to LAX, the Suns are getting along famously again. The team has openly admitted to the problems of last season, so it's not exactly something they'd turn around and lie about all of a sudden. I'm prone to give our guys the benefit of the doubt. We've followed them and loved them too long not to.

To me, there is a lot to be optimistic about this season. Whatever happens, this should turn out to be a great season. Expect a slow start with Amare's return from surgery and the assimilation of the new guys. Don't be surprised to see a .500 team the first couple weeks of the season. Conversely, don't be surprised to see a 40-10 team at the All Star break.

I won't be. Despite each of the last three seasons being wholly unpredictable and clearly distinguishable from one another, I've learned that the one thing this team does better than any other is defy expectations. Speaking of which . . .

Prediction: 54-28, 1st in Pacific, 4th in Western Conference (3rd playoff seed)

- John Hollinger, espn NBA statistical "expert"

I'll be conservative and say 59-23, but only because 60 wins is getting boring. All that matters is that the Suns will win the Pacific Division by default (Golden State just got hit with a key injury to Monta Ellis, so that's 4 for 4), they'll be the number two seed in the West, and they'll have their best shot ever at winning a title.

To the experts who doubt the Suns yet again I say, you have laid the gauntlet, sirs, and I accept your challenge.

**UPDATE: Good ol' Bright Side! A blogger was fortunate enough to attend the Suns scrimmage at McKale, and nice enough to write about the experience. Seems we do have a lot of good times to look forward to.

*So I managed to give you some links. That's how cool I am. Always the martyr.

The Curse of Nostradumbass

2007-10-06T19:52:00.000-07:00

A special Diamondback edition of A Clockwork Orange.
Article title courtesy IMissBob.

(For the record, I have purposely not written about the Diamondbacks, and I still won't do so, because I am a big believer in the moachichi. I'm waiting until it's all over, even though I've come close many times since July.)

Let the excuses begin. Come on, Cub fans, bring it on.

First, a bit of destiny to think about. Two numbers, specifically - six and sixteen. That was the Diamondbacks record over the 22 games prior to Stephen Drew's tie-breaking two-run homer on July 21, 2007, the game considered by most to be the turning point in the Diamondbacks season.

Sixteen to six. The Diamondbacks outscored the Cubs 16-6 in the series.

Now about those excuses. What will it be this time? There were no black cats or Billy goats (well, there was ONE). As far as anyone knows, Steve Bartman didn't even show up to the game. Not that I don't blame him. The team he loved and supported all his life turned its collective backside on him when he needed that love returned the most.

No curses this time . . . sorry.

No. This was a bad team squeaking into the playoffs by winning a division full of bad teams. But you'd never know it with that shameful TBS broadcast, highlighting every Cubs fan at OUR ball park. The Cubs were the better team, we were told (not that any D-Backs fan believed it).

The Cubs were more experienced (only 4 Diamondbacks with postseason experience), had a better line up (if you go by batting averages), and they had the better pitching (2nd best team ERA in the league).

They were picked by some even to go to the World Series. After all, if the Cardinals could do it last year coming out of the same god-awful division, ANYTHING is possible, right?

Wrong. Well, not in this case.

Why? Because Lou Piniella decided to take Zambrano out early in game one, saving him for a game four that would never come?

Please. Don't insult the baseball gods.

That move simply expedited the inevitable. I'm sure there will be TONS of speculation in the coming week on all the opinion shows about whether or not that move cost the Cubs a shot at advancing. I can't wait to hear the domino theory some schmuck will invariably contrive to explain how that move led to the collapse.

Well, it was the sixth inning of a tie ball game. The Cubs were not leading. In fact, they just barely tied the game the previous inning. They didn't score again off Brandon Webb, Brandon Lyon, or Jose Valverde.

So how did that Zambrano move cost them the game? Marmol was going to come in eventually. And he gave up another run in game 3, so it's not like it mattered when he came in. He was a young pitcher in over his head. It was going to happen.

Now, although that move did not lose the series, it did indicate how the series was lost. One word - disrespect. Piniella arrogantly assumed that there would even be a game four. At some point, he had to have looked onto that field, across to that other dugout, and said, "You know what? We're better than these guys. Webb's the only threat."

BIG mistake against a team whose motto is "Anybody, Anytime."

Another thing to think about, as I watch Derek Lee blame his team's early golf pro appointment on its inability to harness its own God-given talent -- in the history of professional sports, the "better team" has never - I repeat, NEVER - been swept out of the playoffs. It just doesn't happen. "Better" teams find ways to win, even when all looks lost. Even when the Billy goat is hanging from the lovable drunk (no mention of that one on the blatantly Cubs-friendly broadcast, surprisingly).

The bottom line -- no more excuses. No curses, no bonehead plays, no bad managerial moves, phantom fan interference. A 90-win team beat an 85-win team, plain and simple.

Cubs fans now have to face one unavoidable truth. They lost because they were a BAD team. They lost every other time because they were not the better team.

Never have been.

At this rate - never will be.

Lou Pinella may be a great manager, and Bob Melvin may be a "postseason neophyte", but there's just no denying that the best team won.

No complaints. No excuses. Not a peep.

Though an apology from Jay Mariotti would be nice.

Job Satisfaction

2007-09-26T17:45:00.000-07:00

It took four months, but the other size 16 finally dropped.

And now the message boards are flooding with speculation, criticism, and outright insanity - sometimes all three at once. But that's the Internet, and we should be used to it by now. I'm just dropping in for this to talk a little bit about finances, namely Shawn Marion's, and the Bizarro World notion that money = respect.

To counter that notion, I will simply offer that, if money means respect, then Michael Jackson must have held those little boys with the highest of regard.

The simple fact is, money has never been mentioned by anyone involved. If I recall correctly, the three year $60 million deal he's supposedly looking for was mentioned by reporters speculating on what Shawn would want after making over $17 million in his final year.

To my knowledge, Shawn has never mentioned money, nor has he ever really been asked about money. And now he's on record as saying that it isn't about money. That means that it is a combination of two things, and two things only.

1. The constant trade talk. It's enough to make ANYONE feel unwanted and unappreciated, regardless of the financial situation. Which brings us to the real reason this happened.

2. The extension. Shawn has been saying all along that the front office hasn't been willing to discuss it. For all they know, he's perfectly willing to take a pay cut (maybe even enough that Kirilenko suddenly doesn't look like such a bargain by comparison). I certainly don't know, but I'd like to believe that Shawn has that understanding of his situation.

What I'd LOVE to hear through all this (but it's NEVEREVEREVEREVEREVER going to happen) is Marion's voice saying loudly enough for everyone interested to hear, "I'll even willing to discuss taking less money than my current contract."

But "it's a business".

I'm so sick of hearing that from athletes these days. It's the standard answer for any question of a player's commitment and loyalty to a team and its fans.

Well, if we're all so clear that it's a business, then why is it such an affront to anyone's sensibilities that the highest paid player with a rapidly approaching contract date on a team hemorrhaging money (the newest addition to my hyperbole collection) due to the luxury tax and a $77 million payroll is the first one mentioned in EVERY trade proposal that comes along?

(Inside voice says: Hey, Shawn...your salary this year alone represents 22% of the team's payroll. That's Kevin Garnett, Shaquille O'Neal, and Kobe Bryant territory. And you're the third fucking option. Yes, Shawn. It's a BUSINESS. Now act like a professional.)

Shawn insists, though, that no one really understands him - that people who don't even know him are making assumptions about him. Obviously, I am one of them. That's never stopped me from writing or speculating about him. I've been more than generous in my defense of Shawn and his apparent moodiness, mostly because I'm confident in my knack for "knowing" people, even if I don't know them.

"Knowing" Shawn Marion as I do, I can only throw up my hands at the latest news, straight from his own mouth.

I felt like they tried to force my hand to Boston with the (Kevin) Garnett stuff.

Yes? Is that a sign of betrayal, or a sign of good business sense? You're worried about an extension that the Suns, a SMALL market team, can't really afford to pay.

They found a taker who was willing to work out that extension. Not only is that good business, it shows that they do respect Shawn enough to find him a place willing to overpay for his services.

At the time, everyone was killing a deal to go to Boston. Did we forget the talk about how Boston is unkind to black players? How they're in a losing situation with no end in sight?

Did we forget this?

So what about it, Shawn? Would you rather be a 30-point scorer and an MVP candidate on a lesser team, say, one only flirting with the postseason, than the sidekick to the sidekick in Phoenix? "Wow, that's interesting," he says thoughtfully, as if he's never entertained the prospect before.

Marion pauses nearly 10 seconds to concentrate on the question. Only the muted sound of late-afternoon traffic outside the two-story living room breaks the silence. He fiddles with the remote as if it holds the answer. "I've never been asked that," he continues. "That would be an interesting situation to be in, to really show people what I can do.

"But we'd be in the playoffs, right?"

Gee. Didn't see THAT one coming back to bite him in the ass, did we? That article came out a month and a half before the NBA draft.

And there it is.

It's not about money. It's not about business, professionalism, or the sheer stupidity of not recognizing what an enviable basketball situation he is in. One thing that article taught us is that Shawn does not want to lose.

As long as "we'd be in the playoffs, right?"

Apparently, Shawn's enviable situation isn't so to him. He'd sacrifice winning for the right amount of losing, so long as he's the middle face on the team's official website somewhere.

Oh, and let's not forget that extension, so it would have to be permanent.

Yes, I understand Shawn Marion's state of mind on this (as far as I know), but it is such a skewed version of reality that no contract extension or amount of money or championship rings will fix it. (I don't question Shawn's sanity, just his perception of reality. Of course, that's usually the first sign.)

At any rate, Marion has stood firm in his quest for the ever-elusive quality of "respect". It has come to the point that only he knows the definition of that particular word anymore, because by most popular standards, Shawn Marion is one of the most respected players in the league - by fans, coaches, and even the media.

I think that everyone is wrong when they say that Marion will regret leaving the Suns. I think he understands exactly what's at stake. We have to understand one thing - some things in life are bigger than others, and only we can decide our own proportions.

Apparently, Shawn Marion places his job beneath himself (which is as it should be, in my opinion). He seems more concerned with righting himself than winning a title. And that's fine by me. It would be selfish to want Shawn to stay just so we could win a championship, when even that probably won't make him happy.

Like any family, we need to let Shawn go and find himself, or at least figure out what the hell he wants out of all this basketball stuff. A few more years, and he won't have it anymore. I don't think he really cares. He has other interests that are bigger than basketball, and it's time for the fans, the organization, and the media to accept that.

Marion treats basketball as the job that it is. The thing that sucks about it for him, I'd imagine, is that it's the only outlet available to him to express himself on a large scale.

So it's come down to this. I accept and understand that Shawn Marion may not be a part of our team this entire season. At the very least, barring a miraculous Dr. Phil moment, this is the last season we will see the orange and purple number 31 mad-dashing up and down the court at the Purple Palace.

End of an era, or just the beginning?

Brothers and Sisters

2007-08-23T14:36:00.000-07:00

I don't like talking about presidential races in an odd numbered year anymore than I like talking about the upcoming playoffs when the preseason hasn't even started. But Barak Obama was on the Daily Show last night, and I started thinking about things. How often is that a good thing?

I find the race between Barak Obama and Hillary Clinton very intriguing. It really says a lot concerning the progress we have made as a country that we are finally willing to consider seriously a woman and a black man as president, especially after our stellar treatment of blacks and females throughout our country's history. Congratulations, United States. You've finally caught up with the rest of the world.

The crazy thing is, the whole democratic strategy seems to be revolving around experience. Namely, who has how much of what kind that will be useful in running the nation? Hillary Clinton ran for and won a Senate seat for the state of New York, and everyone knew what she was up to. She ran a very winnable race to gain experience to be taken seriously as a presidential candidate. Five years later, here we are saying that she's gained the experience necessary, as well as the Senate voting record, for us to visualize her as a serious presidential candidate.

Obama did the same thing in 2004. Well, not exactly the same thing, but still a similar strategy. This man came out of nowhere to challenge an unpopular incumbent for a very winnable Senate seat for Illinois, ostensibly to gain experience to be taken seriously as a legitimate presidential candidate in four years. Three years later, here we are. I don't know about his voting record, and I really don't care. He wasn't around to vote both for and against the war in Iraq, so there's nothing really to scrutinize there.

That's bullshit, though. Obama didn't join the Senate to gain experience to be a president. He ran to see if he could win something based on his "inexperience". It was a trial run for 2008, and nothing more. Ya wanna know why we haven't heard anything about Barak Obama's Senate record? No one cares. Obama made the point on the Daily Show that experience is what got us in this mess to begin with. "Experience" from two former Secretaries of Defense who insisted that we not go to war in Iraq 17 years ago told us to go in this time. Why? Because their "experience" told them that they could get away with it. And they did. Here we are.

He's right, too. If I had to, I would vote for Obama, just because I don't know a damn thing about him, but he presents himself well on television. And that's where this whole democracy thing is heading. Politically obscene as it was, the YouTube debates were a milestone in presidential campaign history. It's an outright acknowledgement that times are changing, and that they need to change. Great. Now what?

Who cares, as long as it's someone who doesn't have the experience to pull off the geopolitical crime of the century?

The way I see it, this race is coming down to Obama and Clinton. That is, if things remain the same as they are now (which they rarely do, admittedly). And that's the way it should be. We've been asking for decades if "America is ready" for a black or woman president (never both), so why not NOW? Let's do it, and get it over with. (If Fox can pull off a show about a bikini model becoming a "journalist", we may as well go all the way in both directions.)

Obama/Clinton is Suns/Spurs all over again - it's the de facto championship, long before we reach the Finals. Sure, there are "viable" candidates from the other conference, but we already know what we're getting from them - which hasn't been good in God knows how long.

Whoever wins the Democratic nomination between Obama and Clinton will most likely be the next president of the United States. But to me, the loser will be more telling than the winner. Obviously, we're ready for a this. But the loser of this race will tell us one very important thing about our society.

Who would we rather NOT run our country --a nigger or a bitch? And if neither wins, that will say alot about where we really are.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-08-20T21:19:00.000-07:00

THIS JUST IN!!!

Fox News finally said, "Fuck it! We're gonna be REALLY honest with you people this time."

I am speechless.

In the Terim

2007-08-04T02:53:00.000-07:00

**Update: It seems that I'm being encouraged to explore my writing. As I tell people in my life the tales of my self-inflicted suffering, or share my cynical philosophies about American views on, well, everything related to our culture, I find myself repeating the same line at the end of every story - I gotta write that shit down. So I am. And I have been. Most of it comes from a deep, dark place that I choose to share with the world through fictionalized accounts of real events rather than actually "being" that person.

Be warned. It's graphic, filled with "cool swears like [a] David Mamet" play, and mostly my way of calling myself on my own bullshit. The writing itself isn't satirical, though its presence in the blog is satirical. I'm making a statement. Pay attention. End update**

There hasn't been much of note to write about lately, the big Boston trade notwithstanding. To be honest, I read Bill Simmons' piece on it, and after doing so, I couldn't think of anything pertinent to add. It's just not something that I am that passionate about.

Not to assume anything, but if there are people who enjoy my work for more literary or entertainment purposes, I do have a blog linked to this one with some of my "alternative" writing. I've started a new short story that I plan on continuing until it resolves itself. There are two chapters so far ("The Lady Killer" and "Prey for the Hunted"), both under 1800 words.

So if you're as bored with the offseason as I have been, and you need a break from wishing that the season would start already, visit 60s Consciousness from time to time. It's my first endeavour in such an on-going project, and feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks for reading. Until the next trade/scandal/retarded front office move, have a great set of days.

Foul Chart

2007-07-28T01:23:00.000-07:00

Right off, I have to admit that I have no idea what happened to the two extra fouls (one on each team) and the two free throws missing from the Suns' total. I have looked for them as much as I can be bothered, but as I have mentioned several times, this was a TEDIOUS task. My eyes are swollen and itchy from zooming in too closely on a 15.4" LCD screen. At this point, though, I don't think that the missing statistics are relevant to the big picture. Attributing them to Donaghy does nothing to further any potential incrimination, and giving them to one or both of the other two officials would do nothing to deflect suspicion from Donaghy's foul calls.

In sum, the numbers are close enough for my purposes, which was to find any discrepancies that might be interpreted as biased foul calling on Tim Donaghy's part.

I could probably break this numbers down to say anything I want against Donaghy, but the fact of the matter is that he was almost non-existent throughout the majority of the game. He was most active in the second quarter, calling 6 fouls (4 on Phoenix, 2 on San Antonio), which equalled the number of fouls called by Willard and Rush combined in the quarter.

Perhaps not coincidentally, this was the quarter that the Suns began to pull away, leading by as many as 11, until two crucial calls from Donaghy. The the first call from Donaghy in the quarter (his third of the game, his only one on Amare) was Amare Stoudemire's second foul, an either-way foul that Jon Barry termed "a young foul". The second was the infamous late whistle that came from Donaghy a full two seconds after the play, as well as from half court, the furthest official from the play.

The Spurs finished that quarter on a 28-17 run, leading by two points going into half time. The total score at this point was 108, more than half way to the Vegas over/under line. During that quarter, Donaghy awarded 7 free throws to San Antonio, compared to the two he awarded to Phoenix.

Things turned strange in the third quarter, a period marred by several non-calls against the Spurs, mostly three second violations and Bowen's antics against Nash. Donaghy disappeared in the third, as well, calling only two fouls on San Antonio, and awarding Phoenix a mere 3 free throws.

Then we get to the fourth quarter, which San Antonio led wire to wire, with Phoenix never getting closer than 6 points (twice). Again, Donaghy was strangely absent, calling only 3 fouls total, and awarding 3 free throws between the two teams. Compare that with the 8 free throws a piece awarded by Willard and Rush. I will note, though, that all 8 of Willard's free throws went to San Antonio.

In the end, I see no big complete game discrepancy between what Donaghy called and what Rush called. The game as a whole is not so much evidence that Donaghy was on the take, but more an indictment of the horrid state of the officiating in the NBA today, regardless of gambling. By my count, Greg Willard, for the game, called 9 fouls on Phoenix and 6 on San Antonio. That's a reasonable disparity, until you consider that he awarded San Antonio three times as many free throw opportunities, allowing the Spurs to shoot 15 free throws to the Suns' 5, compliments of Willard.

Despite Rush's fourth quarter blindness, he called the most even game, handing 8 fouls to each team, and awarding Phoenix two more free throw attempts. This is comparable to Donaghy's final numbers, which give San Antonio one more foul and three more free throws (curiously inverted to what would be expected).

To be fair, eight of Willard's 15 free throws for the Spurs came in the fourth quarter, Donaghy's most conspicuously silent quarter.

I don't think anyone can deny that game three between the Suns and Spurs was the most atrociously officiated game in NBA playoff history. Not just the number of missed calls, but that all but two of them favored the Spurs is an indication that the referees do indeed interpret the rules differently depending on the team. I counted no less than six times a Spurs player standing inside the lane while his man was outside the three point line. In elementary school we called it "baby guarding the basket", and it was against the rules then, too. There is also the matter of what has been termed "physical defense", which for some teams means hard intentional fouls at the rim, and for others means quick hacks at a driver's arms. The Suns don't know from physical defense, so it's surprising that they were called for so many shooting fouls.

As an indictment of Tim Donaghy, the best evidence is the second quarter. He came alive just in time to stem a Suns momentum swing and allow the Spurs to regain control. I didn't note a single moment after the first quarter that the game was in danger of missing the over, not with the Suns averaging 24 points per quarter and the Spurs averaging 27 points. If the game cut close, then there was always room to call fouls later in the game. For the record, the over/under was beat at 1:51 in the fourth, when Tony Parker scored on a drive to push the score to 106-95 in favor of San Antonio -- 201 points for the mathematically challenged.

Oddly, though, most of those fourth quarter fouls came from the whistle of Greg Willard. Donaghy's contribution of three fouls total for the quarter hardly seem enough to push the score upward, especially considering that they weren't even timely calls. No, if Donaghy was working the spread or the over/under, he did it in the second quarter with a very timely slew of foul calls and a disproportionate number of free throws to San Antonio that not only killed Phoenix's momentum, but gave the Spurs the lead going into half time.

So whether or not this game proves to be an example of a fixed game is irrelevant at this point. Suns fans cried foul (pardon) when the game was going on, and even the media knew something wasn't right. Yet Stern continued to ignore the pleas of NBA fans everywhere right through the suspensions, and right until the news of Tim Donaghy broke. Now he has no choice but to look at that game very closely. No doubt he will draw similar conclusions to mine - ultimately, there is no conclusive proof that Donaghy inappropriately influenced this game, yet there are still numerous questionable calls and non-calls that are incongruous with good basketball.

Stern has to look closely at this game, and any game like it, and realize that his officials tend to be lazy, arrogant, and incompetent in big situations. The game may not have been fixed, but the officiating was bad enough that it may as well have been. God forbid I ever have to watch that game again.

Prohibition Works

2007-07-27T13:32:00.000-07:00

This is how completely out of touch David Stern is. USA Today reports that Stern is still against legalized gambling.

Why?

Well, much like prohibition during the depression and California's "three strike rule" worked wonders to stop people from using drugs and alcohol, Stern expects that legislating human behavior is the answer for society's ills.

The NBA investigation is sure to rekindle debate about whether sports betting should be legalized. That would enable government agencies such as Nevada's Gaming Control Board to oversee and regulate the majority of bets now wagered illegally.

Stern disagrees. "Historically, I think that by making it legal, you're going to encourage more people to bet," he said Tuesday.

Think about it - an old New York lawyer who believes that prohibition worked, it just wasn't given enough time, apparently.

This is the guy who tells players how to dress and conduct themselves. This is the guy responsible for marketing what has become a hip-hop product. This is also the guy who believes that a young, emotionally jacked up player has the mental awareness to control the natural urge to leap to a companion's defense if that companion has been hurt.

David Stern has been telling us for years that his officials are the best in the business, that there is absolutely no credence to any conspiracy theories. Now he tells us that legalized gambling will "encourage more people to bet", which, by logical extension makes the problem even worse. I just have one suggestion.

Can someone please remind Stern about the $300 BILLION in illegal bets made last year?

The Other Half

2007-07-27T01:09:00.000-07:00

3rd QUARTER

11:25
Foul on PHX
Amare block attempt on Duncan, Amare's 3rd
2 FT for SA
Willard, baseline, in position
Replay shows all ball, arm contact incidental after the block

11:08
Foul on SA
Duncan bites on Nash pump fake, Duncan raises his hand, his 3rd
2 FT for PHX
Willard, baseline, in position
This after Tony Parker hand checking Nash from behind on the perimeter, where Donaghy stood

11:00
O Foul on SA
Bowen knees Nash in the groin, Bowen's first
Rush, half court, in position

10:35
O Foul on PHX
Amare "knocks over" Oberto under the basket, Amares 4th
Rush, baseline, in position

10:18
3 Second violation, SA
Willard, baseline

9:44
No call on SA
Parker runs into Thomas screen, raises his elbow
Donaghy, sideline position, Willard, baseline, Rush behind the play

9:17
No call on SA
Bowen reaches across Nash's chest on a drive at the top
Jon Barry comments during stop in play that "Nash looks out of sorts today"
Donaghy, half court position, Willard, behind the play, Rush, baseline

8:32
Foul on SA
Oberto hits Thomas on dunk attempt (same as Amare's second)
2 FT
(7-0 run for PHX puts them ahead 60-56)
Donaghy, baseline, in position

7:27
No call on SA
Marion gets the ball underneath, Duncan comes over the his back
Duncan then holds Marion down on the rebound attempt, ball bounces to Parker
Willard, baseline, in position, Rush, sideline, Donaghy, half court, behind the play

7:02
No call on SA
Duncan guards no one in particular as Diaw posts Parker
Willard, baseline, Rush, sideline, Donaghy, half court

7:00
No call on SA
Duncan holds Diaw on rebound attempt
Willard, baseline, Donaghy, sideline, Rush, half court

6:46
Foul on PHX (should have been on SA)
Diaw follows Bowen baseline, hits Duncan screen, Duncan falls
Replay shows Duncan hip checked Diaw, causing him to spin and hit Duncan on the back
Rush, baseline, in position

6:14
Foul on PHX (should have been on SA)
Duncan slashes, Nash gets position outside the circle
Duncan runs into Nash, called blocking foul
2 FT for SA
Willard, baseline, in position

5:33
No call on SA
Duncan guarding no one, feet are below free throw line while Thomas is above three point line

5:30
No call on SA
Nash drives, Duncan hits Nash's shooting arm
Rush, baseline, in position
SA leads, 66-60

3:20
No call on SA
Ginobili pushes through a Nash screen
Donaghy and Rush in back court

2:57
Foul on SA
Nash drives, blocking on Barry
1 FT
Donaghy, baseline, in position

2:39
Marion scores on a fast break dunk
SA leads 70-69

1:49
Foul on SA
Ginobili hammers Jones on up and under move, Ginobili's first
2 FT for PHX
Willard, baseline, in position

1:33
No call on PHX
Ginobili spins through the lane, loses control, falls down
Infamous Marion swipe that led to black eye
Rush and Donaghy in backcourt, Willard, baseline
All refs are blocked out, R and D are behind the play, Bell is in front of Willard

46.5
Foul on PHX
Bell hits Ginobili's hand after release of 3-pointer, flop
3 FT for SA
Rush and Donaghy in backcourt make the call
Rush in position

30.7
No violation call on SA
Ginobili guards no one, stays under the basket until Diaw posts Vaughn
Forces bad pass
Rush, baseline position, Willard and Donaghy, back court

7.9
Foul on SA
Vaugh trips Barbosa on drive
2 FT for PHX
Rush, baseline, in position

0.3
No call on SA
Parker fumbles the 3 point shot with 2.3 seconds
Gets control, then throws elbow into Barbosa trying to draw the foul
Rush, sideline, in position

3rd Quarter Foul Stats

Willard: 2 Fouls on PHX, 1 Foul on SA
2 FT for PHX, 4 FT for SA

Rush: 3 Fouls on PHX, 2 Fouls on SA
2 FT for PHX, 3 FT for SA

Donaghy: 2 Fouls on SA
3 FT for PHX

PHX: Called for 5 fouls, received 7 free throw attempts
SA: Called for 5 fouls, received 7 free throw attempts

Game Totals:

PHX: 15 Fouls, 19 FTA
SA: 16 Fouls, 23 FTA

4th QUARTER

11:50
Foul on PHX
Bell reaches in on Ginobili
Willard, sideline, in position

11:41
Foul on PHX
Amare's 5th, late on defense, hacked Duncan
2 FT for SA
Rush, baseline, in position
SA leads 82-72 after FTs

11:30 - 11:20
2 No calls
Parker standing in the lane guarding no one when the ball is on the perimeter
Barry is holding Diaw, preventing him from standing his position
Ball goes into Diaw, then Parker moves in to double
Rush, baseline, in position

Jon Barry comments how every time someone gets by a SA player, there is

always someone there...could that be those players standing under the basket,

guarding no one?

(3 minutes of bad basketball later)

8:43
Possible no call foul on SA
Marion running the break goes for the lay up with Parker on him
Hard to see contact, no replay, Marion protests
Willard, baseline, in position

8:29
Foul on PHX
Diaw pushes Horry under the basket, Horry flips the ball over his head
2 FT for SA
Rush, baseline, in position

8:15
No call foul on SA
Bowen reaches in on Nash after Nash passes him on the drive
Donaghy, sideline, in position
Nash scores anyway, SA leads 88-79

7:38
No call foul on SA
Nash drives past Bowen, Bowen hits Nash's off arm, ball comes loose
Nash is pissed
Willard, sideline, in position

7:29
Technical foul on PHX
Mike D'Antoni
1 FT for SA
Willard, baseline
SA leads 91-79

6:09
No call foul on SA
Again, Nash drives past Bowen, Bowen grabs Nash's left arm, Horry hits

Nash's right arm
This is the one Eddie F. Rush looked right at
Rush, baseline, in position
93-83 SA

6:00
Foul on PHX
Thomas hacks Duncan on shot attempt
2 FT for SA
Willard, baseline, in position

5:50
Foul on SA (should be Duncan's 4th, Horry's 4th instead)
Marion hit from behind on drive to the basket
2 FT for PHX
Replay shows all ball for Horry, Duncan hits Marion's arm
Rush, sideline, Willard, baseline, in position
94-84 SA

4:49
Foul on SA
Duncan hacks Amare on a dunk attempt, not Duncan's 4th
Foul changed to Ginobili, who swiped at the ball from behind, his 3rd
2 FT for PHX
Donaghy, baseline, in position, Willard, sideline
97-89 SA

4:39
Foul on PHX
Parker drives around Marion, Marion bumps Parker on the shot
1 FT for SA
Willard, half court, in position

3:01
Foul on PHX
Thomas hacks Duncan in the lane, unclear from camera angle, no replay
Suns had just cut the lead to 6, 99-93 SA
1 FT for SA
Donaghy, baseline, in position
102-93 SA

2:48
No call foul on SA
Stoudemire maneuvers around Duncan, who can't recover
Hacks Amare from behind
Replay confirms Duncan's left hand on Amare's back and right hand hitting

Amare's wrist
Donaghy, baseline, in position, Rush, sideline
102-93 SA

2:35
Foul on PHX
Ginobili drives, leans, and misses lay up
Appears to be no contact
2 FT for SA
Willard, baseline, in position
104-93 SA

2:26
Foul on SA
"Why call that NOW?"
Bowen hacks Nash at the top...again (it happened every time Nash blew by

Bowen in this quarter, at least 4 non calls that I didn't log due to tediousness

and frequency of occurence)
NO FT, SA not in penalty
Donaghy, sideline, in position
104-93 SA, Suns score after inbounds, 104-95 SA

1:18
Foul on SA
Ginobili trips Nash on the drive at the top
No FT, SA still not in the penalty
Willard, sideline, in position, Donaghy, baseline
107-98 SA

38.6
Foul on SA
Duncan undercuts Amare on alley oop attempt
Finally Duncan's 4th
2 FT for PHX
Rush, baseline position, Donaghy, sideline position, both make the call

No call
Bowen is holding Nash's arm down on the pass
Rush, baseline, in position

36.9
Intentional foul on PHX
Bell hacks Duncan on inbounds
2 FT for SA
Willard, baseline, in position

4th Quarter Foul Stats

Willard: 5 Fouls on PHX, 1 Foul on SA
8 FT for SA

Rush: 2 Fouls on PHX, 2 Fouls on SA
4 FT for PHX, 4 FT for SA

Donaghy: 1 Foul on PHX, 2 Fouls on SA
2 FT for PHX, 1 FT for SA

Totals: 8 Fouls on PHX, 5 Fouls on SA
6 FT for PHX, 13 FT for SA

2nd Half Stats

Willard: 7 Fouls on PHX, 2 Fouls on SA
2 FT for PHX, 12 FT for SA

Rush: 5 Fouls on PHX, 4 Fouls on SA
6 FT for PHX, 7 FT for SA

Donaghy: 1 Foul on PHX, 4 Fouls on SA
5 FT for PHX, 1 FT for SA

13 Fouls on PHX, 10 Fouls on SA
13 FT for PHX, 20 FT for SA

Game Totals

PHX: 23 Fouls, 25 FTS
SA: 21 Fouls, 36 FTA

Missing 1 Foul each, and 2 PHX FTs

Something's screwy with the numbers. They're almost all there, but one foul keeps changing teams, one is missing, as well as its accompanying free throw attempts. It's a pain, believe me. I've been over all the numbers several times, and I've been over the video as many times for each call. Stay tuned, and I'll see if I can't figure it out. Either way, the results are surprising.

Whistle Blowers and Foul Play

2007-07-23T22:10:00.000-07:00

***Updated Tuesday, July 24 2007 5:39 AM AZ time.

For purposes of this analysis, I focused solely on fouls and violations, either real or imagined. I am looking at both sides of the court. I want to be fair and as objective as possible, which is in my best interest, anyway, because we have more than just who wins the game consider. There is a matter of the final score, and the total for both teams combined.

Yes, I believe that the Spurs were screwed by this whole thing, too. Their fans are currently in denial about their team's most recent championship, and I'm sure that I would be none too pleased to know that my team's title may have been influenced by crooked refs.

I am also doing this with the full acknowledgement that any conclusion in the Suns favor (read: I find evidence of game corruption) that I may find will be denounced as the biased findings of a homer fan. A perfectly valid criticism, so long as it does not veil my open attempts to remain as objective as humanly possible. I am doing this for the greater good of the game, not the Suns. If anyone can't figure that out, then I will accept their criticism with a grain of gun powder. I don't listen to people who don't think.

I have recorded the time, the infraction, the offending player, the offended player, a description of the play, the referee of record (where visible), and the position of each referee on the court in relation to the play for each whistle. I ignored obvious turnovers (Leandro throwing the ball to the scorer's table, San Antonio's 24 second violation) and just stuck with anything that is open to interpretation.

1st Quarter

10:08
O Foul
Finley floors Bell
Willard, in position

9:43
Foul
Bell pushes through Duncan screen
Rush, in position

8:48
Precedent
KT and TD pushing for rebounding position
Rush, in position

8:41
Late whistle
Elson goal tending Amare's shot
Willard, in position

(Mike Breen comments on "good officiating crew")

6:29
Foul
Thomas pushes Duncan on dunk, continuation
Willard, in position

6:10
Foul - precedent
Duncan over the back on block attempt, Stoudemire
Replay confirms Duncan hit Amare's wrist, despite Duncan's bug-eyed surprise
Refs not on camera, Donaghy in position, Duncan looks at Donaghy after whistle, inconclusive
(attributed to Rush: Foul on SA, 2 FT for PHX)

5:15
Foul
Finley pump fakes, Amare bites
Rush, baseline, Willard, top, Donaghy, not on camera

4:41
Foul
Horry drives into Amare under the basket, Amare is backing up, Horry initiates in the circle
Willard, in position
Pure interpretation call (charge circle), used to be a non-call, should still be a non-call
**Upon further review (after seeing too many people attribute the first two Amare fouls on Donaghy), it turns out that Donaghy indeed had baseline position and made the second call. He was off camera for the first call, but both Rush and Willard are clearly on camera calling the first foul on Amare.

3:48
Horry out of bounds
Duncan screens for Horry, Thomas cuts off lane, Horry bumps and Thomas flops, Horry steps across the baseline, Breen says "incidental contact" (see above call)
Horry holds ball, no delay of game warning
Willard, in position

3:18
Non-call
Duncan jumps into Thomas outside circle, Thomas flops, Duncan misses
Rush, baseline, Willard, corner, Donaghy, behind the play

2:35
Diaw schools Duncan
No foul controversy
Just a beautiful play

2:13
Foul
Horry bumps Diaw on the drive, lands on Bell, Diaw free throws
Rush, baseline, in position

1:49
Foul
Oberto blocks Diaw on the drive, one step, no dribble, not awarded continuation
Donaghy, in position

27.6
Foul
Oberto blocking Barbosa, in circle, shot falls, continuation
Rush, baseline, in position

5.5
Non call
Ginobili drives, questionable contact
Rush, baseline, in position

4.4
Non call
Oberto blocks Bell's path after rebound (land and turn rule)
Rush, baseline, Donaghy, nearest to play, leading out on break, Willard, far side, watching play

Final 1st Quarter Tally

Spurs: 5 fouls - W 1, R 2, D 1 (1 inconclusive)
Suns: 4 fouls - W1, R 2, D 1
Violations
Spurs: 2 - W 1, goal tending, R 1, Out of bounds
Suns: 0

Score: Suns 30, Spurs 25, Total 55
Potential over/under score: 220
Vegas over/under: 200.5
Spurs favored by 4.5

So far, the game is playing out just as I remember it, as well as just as I logged it in my minimalist live game blog. The calls are clean and fair, but Donaghy's whistle has been silent compared to his colleagues. I am on record on a public message board stating that Amare's first two fouls were legitimate. Despite his second coming 34 seconds after his first and being of the "I wish refs would stop calling that stupid foul!" variety, I can't argue the call. I stand by what I said. This game started out really well, with the Suns playing surprisingly good defense, yet missing out on some golden opportunities to expand their lead.

The thing that concerns me is the precedent the officials have set. They are on top of everything, to the point of calling contact within the charge circle by the book, hence four blocking fouls out of nine total. They also aren't buying into the flopping, as every time a player from either team takes a dive, even Raja's skid across the floor at the end of the quarter, were patently ignored. Already I'm thinking of Amare's fourth foul, where Oberto flopped after Amare stopped in the open court. We'll get to that later.

This is an agonizingly tedious task, so I'll be breaking this up over the course of hours or days. Everything will come back to this post, so don't look for a new one for each quarter. I'll do a final analysis after I'm done deconstructing this monstrosity of a game.

Stay tuned.

2nd Quarter (both teams with 5 FT in 1st Quarter)

11:29
Foul
Barbosa blocks Elson's cut to the basket inside the circle
2 FT
Willard, in position baseline

10:37
O Foul
Elson moving screen on Bell, Elson turned into Bell cutting from a back screen, Jon Barry accuses Bell of acting
Donaghy, sideline position

10:17 - 10:15
The infamous late whistle
Phoenix on a 6-0 run, lead 36-27, up tempo quarter
Ginobili drives past Bell, who concedes the lane, Time and score graphic appear showing 10:17
Ginobili misses the layup, Bell rebounds, Marion breaks down court at 10:16
Bell takes two dribbles, the whistle blows, Mike Breen announces,
"And now a late whistle. Tim Donaghy, outside official made the call late, and he's telling Mike D'Antoni to get back."
Jon Barry says, "I don't know what he saw" as the replay clearly shows no contact, although Ginobili throws his hands up.
Mike Breen, "But that doesn't really matter from a referee standpoint" referring to Donaghy's outside position.
2FT
THE CLOCK IS NOT RESET TO THE TIME OF THE ALLEGED FOUL!!!
Donaghy, half court, behind the play

Next possession 10:02 - 9:54
Diaw rebounds Thomas miss, Ginobili is on his back and Bowen is reaching in, Diaw passes out to Bell
Bowen is defending no one in particular, he's following the ball and jumps out on Bell
Diaw sets a screen, Bowen turns and immediately falls, an obvious flop
No call
Donaghy, baseline, Rush, sideline, Willard, half court

9:13
Foul
Diaw takes Duncan one on one, Diaw pump fakes then drives around, Duncan's hands land on Diaw's waist
Diaw makes it to the rim, Duncan misses the block from behind
D'Antoni can be heard, "Late call, Tim."
2 FT
Willard, baseline position

8:54
Non-call
Parker drives around and meets Thomas in the air inside the circle
Rush, baseline position, Donaghy sideline position, Willard, half court

8:23
Non-call
Typical Duncan shuffle step that will be called travelling in game four
Willard, baseline position

8:12
Travelling
Thomas pump fakes, shuffles his feet
Donaghy, half court, in position

8:04
Foul
Tony Parker drives past Marion's right, Thomas steps in, he gets position outside the circle, but the trailing foot is still moving
FT
Donaghy, baseline, in position

7:13
Foul
Oberto over Diaw's back on rebound, Diaw has position, Oberto wraps his arm around Diaw's waist
Oberto throws his hands up in disbelief
Willard, sideline, in position, Rush, baseline, in position

7:01
No call
Diaw turns and is sandwiched by Oberto, ball knocked loose, turnover

6:56
Foul
Nash fouls Parker on a fast break spin move inside
Looks like a clean strip, but Nash's off hand is on Parker's hip, incidental after spinning into contact
2FT
Rush, half court, behind the play

6:34
Foul
Horry pulls down Stoudemire in front of official
Horry gets into Amare's face, tempers flare, no technical
Ball not in play, automatic two-shot foul
2FT
Rush, baseline, in position

6:02
Travelling
Parker picks up his dribble and shuffles his feet under pressure from Marion
Marion's arm is on Parker's midsection
Donaghy, half court, in position

5:50
No call
Nash drives with Bowen on him, Bowen's hand is on Nash's hip
Willard, baseline position, Donaghy, sideline position

4:10
No call
Parker gets loose underneath on a pass from Duncan
Amare goes up with Parker inside the circle, incidental contact
Willard, baseline position, Donaghy, sideline position

4:01
Foul
Nash trips and touches Bowen on break away
2FT
Donaghy, half court, behind the play, Willard, baseline, in front of the play

3:44
Foul
Duncan's arm catches Amare's back on a follow attempt
2FT
Donaghy, baseline, in position

3:25
Foul
Thomas blocks Duncan's shot, Duncan rebounds, lowers his shoulder on the follow drive
Thomas' low arm is on Duncan's waist on the spin
2FT
Donaghy, baseline, in position

2:38
No call
Duncan backs Diaw low, jumps into Diaw, Diaw flops
Duncan's smiling as he makes his way back down court
Willard, baseline position

2:01
Foul
Stoudemire backs Duncan down
Amare spins, Duncan jumps into Amare as Finley comes to double, hitting Amare's arms on the shot
Finley's second instead of Duncan's third
FT
Willard, half court, behind the play, Rush baseline, in position

53.6
No call
Nash drives, dishes to Marion
Marion cuts to the basket, Duncan bodies him inside the circle
Ball is stripped
Rush, baseline position

28.9
No call
Marion gets the feed underneath from Diaw
Duncan hacks Marion's arm on the shot, which rolls in
Rush, baseline position

9.7
No call
Marion guarding Parker, Duncan sets a back screen
Marion goes to move around the screen, and Duncan pushes his hip out, Marion hits the deck
Rush, half court position, Willard, baseline position, Donaghy, sideline, behind the play

Last Suns possession
Nash drives coast to coast
Bowen reaches in as Nash cuts through the lane
Duncan bodies Nash in the air within the circle
Rush, baseline position, Willard, half court, behind the play, Donaghy, sideline, behind the play

KEY STATS

Willard: 1 on Phoenix, 1 FT for Phoenix, 3 on SA, 2 FT for SA

Rush: 1 on Phoenix, 2 FT for Phoenix, 1 on SA, 2FT for SA

Donaghy: 4 on Phoenix, 2 FT for Phoenix, 2 on SA, 7 FT for SA

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

*Updated Foul and Free Throw Totals:

FIRST QUARTER STATS

Willard: 1 Fouls on PHX, 1 Foul on SA
1 FT for SA
Rush: 2 Fouls on PHX, 3 Fouls on SA
5 FT for PHX, 2 FT for SA
Donaghy: 1 Foul on PHX, 1 Foul on SA
2 FT for SA

SECOND QUARTER STATS

Willard: 1 Foul on PHX, 3 Fouls on SA
3 FT for PHX, 2 FT for SA
Rush: 1 Foul on PHX, 1 Foul on SA
2 FT for PHX, 2 FT for SA
Donaghy: 4 Fouls on PHX, 2 Fouls on SA
2 FT for PHX, 7 FT for SA

First Half Totals

Willard: 2 Fouls on PHX, 4 Fouls on SA
3 FT for PHX, 3 FT for SA
Rush: 3 Fouls on PHX, 4 Fouls on SA
7 FT for PHX, 4 FT for SA
Donaghy: 5 Fouls on PHX, 3 Fouls on SA
2 FT for PHX, 9 FT for SA

PHX: Called for 10 fouls, received 12 free throw attempts
SA: Called for 11 fouls, received 16 free throw attempts

(*Update: 7-25-07 11:56 PM
Willard and Donaghy's fouls and free throw totals have been adjusted to reflect the change in Amare's second foul. Willard lost one foul on Phoenix, and two free throws for San Antonio, and Donaghy picked them up. Even more damning for him.)

Interesting how Donaghy didn't call his first foul until 1:49 left in the first quarter, then called his second and third fouls within 20 seconds of each other a minute and a half into the second. That third call was the suspect late whistle that awarded Manu Ginobili two free throws and effectively ended the Suns' momentum. Instead of a chance to go up by 11 early in the second quarter and build on the sudden momentum of the second quarter, the Suns were up by 7 with the crowd into the game. One call early in the game may not determine the outcome of a game, but it can sure change the complexion of a game real quick.

The Suns opened the quarter on a 6-2 run. Oddly enough, setting aside Donaghy's free throws awarded to San Antonio, the Suns out shot the Spurs 6-2 from the line in the quarter. Donaghy's 7 free throw attempts awarded to the Spurs contributed to a 28-17 close out of the half for San Antonio, allowing them to take a two point lead into the break.

NOTE: The string of "no calls" at the end of the half were basically just the result of a frenetic close. In the grand scheme, they were inconsequential, as they appeared to go both ways. The reason I recorded them is that they are areas of inconsistencies that are beginning to develop, namely, what amounts to a foul near the basket, and is initiated contact inside the restricted circle no longer a foul?

I also left off all the turnovers I recorded, as well as the precedent breaking calls later in the first quarter. The turnovers were garden variety miscues and deflections, although one turnover in the second may have been the result of too much contact. There was no whistle, and the angle was bad. Sorry.

The third quarter is when it gets ugly. That will be tomorrow night's project. Until then, have fun with the first half. Plausible, so far.

***UPDATE:

If I were an NBA referee in a position to influence the outcome of a game, and I was faced with a Suns team suddenly running up a nine point lead, this is about what I'd be thinking. This game needs to stay in the single digits in the first half. OK. Spurs are inbounding. Come on, Manu, you have to score. Good, he's driving. He missed? Crap! No foul? This is going to turn into a double digit lead. *WHISTLE BLOWS* Good. Ginobili gets two free throws, a theoretical 11 point lead turns into an actual 7 point lead -- a four point swing. That will go well towards covering a 4.5 point spread.

Now, I'm not saying that's what happened. I'm not saying that Donaghy made that late call specifically to pull a four point swing, thus protecting San Antonio's chances to come back and cover the spread. I just think that it's rather convenient that Amare Stoudemire has 2 fouls already, which opens the door for the Spurs to make a nice third quarter push, as they are prone to do, because Amare isn't smart enough to stay out of foul trouble.

It's all about working on theory, because there are no definites in a point shaving scheme. You can only give your favored team the opportunity to cover the spread. You can't make the free throws for your team, but you can give them enough that they have a chance to make them on their own. You also don't blatantly make the key call that takes the underdog's biggest offensive threat out of the game. That would be too obvious. He's already made two stupid fouls, and he's bound to make another. It's a calculated risk, and you let Amare be Amare. Instead, you focus your attention on the one player that can kill your odds -- Steve Nash. So Bowen gets away with being more physical. That's just the way he plays.

If I can figure this out, I'm sure that a professional could, too. Was this game fixed?

Quick Question

2007-07-23T15:35:00.000-07:00

Anyone heard what Charles "I lost $10 million in Vegas" Barkley had to say, yet? He's been suspiciously quiet on the matter.

Unrelated...just found that lovely image through truehoop. Apparently, it was an actual e-bay auction...until the site pulled it. Fortunately, the smart ass was smart enough to screen print it for us.

Donaghy Did It

2007-07-22T22:14:00.000-07:00

Although I'm not thrilled with the length of the intro and the graininess of the video (that's the price we pay to by pass copy protection), I do feel compelled to share this. I'm sure I'm not the only one, but it's all for the greater good.

The Grass is Greener

2007-07-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

Indeed the world seems rosier this week with the news of Tim Donaghy, and the possibility that he may have affected the out come of game three of the Western Conference Semifinals.

As a Suns fan, I couldn't be happier with the news. It's a vindication of sorts for all of us who tried so hard to resist blaming the referees for the game three loss, while the San Antonio fans told us to stop whining about the officiating. Well, everyone and their dead grandmother knew that the officiating in that game was straight out of The Miracle Worker, and now even Spurs fans have to admit that their most recent championship may very well be tainted, if not completely illegitimate.

Though I wrote down my initial feelings yesterday, I didn't want to go through the trouble of going too deep into game research to find out just how plausible it is that the five games that Donaghy officiated may have been rigged. There are far too many games to look at to find his games, and I'd rather let someone else do it for me. I'm sure that some astute blogger out there is in the process of putting together a list of the questionable games, and I'll just check his work.

Apparently, I wasn't alone in my first impression. Kevin Hench of foxsports.com speculated today the feelings of Suns fans in light of this scandal.

Denial — This can't be happening. Robert Horry didn't just hip-check Steve Nash into the scorer's table with the result being the suspensions of our only low-post scorer and best low-post passer. This cannot be happening.

Anger — We hate you, David Stern! We'd like to see Charles Barkley throw you through a plate glass window at Dan Majerle's bar!

Bargaining — Please, please, let us squeak out Game 5. Let the series go seven games. We'll forget all about the unjust suspensions.

Depression — We lost. We're doomed. It's over. Our window of opportunity is closing. Nash is 33. That was our shot.

Acceptance — We're down, but not out. We just signed Grant Hill. Stoudemire will be another year away from microfracture surgery. Leandro Barbosa is getting better by the minute.

He must have been reading all our blogs because those were my exact feelings, although Stern suffered a much worse fate in my anger-induced imagination. He was a bit off on the next part, though.

Denial — There is simply no way an official in a major American sport would do this. This isn't Italian soccer, dammit.

Anger — Was Game 3 the game when Bruce Bowen essentially assaulted Nash from start to finish? Was Bowen really whistled for only two fouls? Did Nash really shoot only three free throws? Was that the game where the Suns were in the midst of a run-out when they were interrupted by a foul call so late it just had to be an inadvertent whistle?

Bargaining — Okay. Please, Federal Bureau of Investigation, just tell us Donaghy hadn't bet on that game. Please just tell us that a pile of mob money didn't come down on the Spurs in Game 3.

Depression — Ah, what's the difference? It's not like Stern is going to give us a do-over.

Acceptance — Probably never.

First of all, I am SO not in denial about this. I have been one to keep a level head throughout the season and NOT succumb to the conspiracy theories. I tried my best, anyway. But I've written extensively on the horrid free throw and foul disparity in that series, so none of this surprises me one bit. I don't know if could surprise any die hard Suns fan.

I did ask those very questions during my brief anger phase. Once I confirmed the answers, I went straight to bargaining. Only I wasn't begging for the Feds to find no fault. I want them to find solid evidence of point shaving during that game. This is what we need, solid evidence that NBA games and NBA officials are not infallible. David Stern has long dismissed talk of biased officiating by stating that his referees get "95% of the calls right." The other five percent is due to the speed of the game and the fact that the refs are human and can make mistakes.

That shouldn't stop him from looking more closely at his officiating crews. A person who is consistently bad at his job finds a pink slip in his mail box in the real world. Consider this gem dropped on us by Jack McCallum at sportsillustrated.com,

Donaghy is the least-regarded of the Cardinal O'Hara foursome, which also includes Joey Crawford, Mike Callahan and Ed Malloy. One NBA coach called him "absolutely the worst referee in the league" but others were kinder. "I'd put him about in the middle," said another coach, requesting anonymity. "Then again, it's a large and undistinguished middle."

Um . . . wow. I have heard coaches talk about officiating after games, but never have I heard them single one out. This one flat out calls Donaghy the worst ref in the league. It would be no wonder that Donaghy wasn't looked at more closely by Stu Jackson, since the penalties for complaints about officiating, and in particular naming specific referees, border on the clinically insane. Ask Mark Cuban how much it costs to bag a ref.

David Stern brought this whole mess upon himself by making his officials beyond reproach, shrouding penalties and disciplinary action for poor officiating from the general public. It was rather Stalin-esque, if you ask me. The Russian dictator's personal guard ran rampant once it was established that any question of their authority was punishable by death, by order of Stalin himself. Eventually they ran amok, causing a backlash against Stalin among his population, and there was no way he was going to kill everyone. So he disbanded them, and the rest is Communist history.

After his smug performance on the Dan Patrick show after the game four suspension fiasco, I am enjoying the show, watching with breathless anticipation to see how Commissioner Stalin handles is own mishandling of the guard. I love the idea that Karma just came back and bit David Stern on the ass like a dog on the postman.

This is beautiful, and, may I say, well-deserved.

Underneath all this mafia madness lies a beautiful irony -- Vegas. Stern is reticent to put a franchise where gambling is legal, and this Donaghy scandal puts a dent in that whole plan, even as Las Vegas continues to host NBA sponsored events. Watch Stern punk out on a huge marketing coup and financial windfall.

See, this kind of thing rarely happens in Vegas. Gambling is legal there, so there is an entire security industry devoted to catching cheats. When they catch someone, they take care of them swiftly and quietly, and that person will be lucky to lay a legal bet anywhere in the continental United States ever again. And they do this, not because they want to maintain the integrity of their gambling establishments, but because they want to protect their assets.

Point shaving schemes and game-fixing are as good as stealing as far as the casinos are concerned. The more a cheater wins, the bigger the felony. It's a matter of protecting their own interests, and they do a damn fine job at it.

Now imagine if these guys were enlisted to oversee officiating and monitor for point shaving and game fixing. Tim Donaghy may never have lasted two months, if the Vegas posse were involved.

That just goes to show the counter-intuitive nature of Stern's recent decision-making. The police are outside, the criminal is inside, and Davey boy locks the front door. How can I not have a good time with this?

Hello Hell

2007-07-20T16:34:00.000-07:00

Talk about a cynical blogger's wet dream. Holy Jesus in a trench coat. TWO stories to piss me off in one day, and it's the OFFSEASON? God truly must be a Suns fan.

I'm sure we've all heard by now the news about Kurt Thomas. Is anyone really surprised that Dirty was traded? Is anyone still ensconced 'neath a large stone that they need to be told that the Suns number one priority this offseason was to minimize the luxury tax hit, or can we just move on with the part of this deal that truly IS surprising? Good, let's go.

Why now?

I understand why the Suns got so little return (conditional 2nd rounder and a trade exception, neither of which are likely to be used...ever) on the deal while giving up so much (two MORE first rounders?). It makes perfect business sense to give away $8 million of tax burden.

But why NOW?

The league sent out its luxury tax bills this week, sure, but they aren't payable until the trade deadline. I figured that the Suns would be smart (fool me twice) and hold onto Thomas until February, when his trade value should be much higher, and the team wouldn't have to give up two first round draft picks. More likely, the Suns would have gotten a conditional first round pick in return, instead of the conditional second round pick. (Why a second round pick would have conditions, I don't know.)

Think Charlotte, or more likely Washington wouldn't like to have a veteran big man to help out in a playoff push?

Congratulations on another bizarrely short-sighted move by Sarver and Kerr. Giving away James Jones doesn't seem all that sensible anymore.

That's just bad timing, though.

Talk about GOOD timing, 13 year veteran NBA referee Tim Donaghy was introduced to the Feds.

There is going to be a lot of speculation by everyone outside San Antonio whether this guy is responsible for helping to put the Suns in a 2-1 hole against the Spurs. Remember that miraculous comeback in game 4? Remember how the Suns battled back against the Spurs, down 11 points in the fourth quarter, then came away with a huge upset and homecourt advantage? That was also the game that was called rather favorably (read: EVENLY) for the Suns. Duncan and Parker were called for travelling. Duncan was in foul trouble. Ginobili wouldn't get away with a flop if his mother called in for him. And Robert Horry took out Steve Nash, and subsequently Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw for the next game.

Well, the game before that one was called infamously one-sided in favor of the Spurs. Bill Simmons even talked about it back in May, so I know I'm not just making it up. No sour grapes here, my friend. Only a small amount of vindication.

Tim Donaghy was on the officiating crew of that game.

I remember that game distinctly because I logged my discontent as it played out. (You'll also notice that I predicted the Suns game 4 win and, more importantly, the foul calling, though I foresaw the method inaccurately.) The Suns were playing well in the first half, despite some shaky foul calling. The third quarter turned ugly, as the free throw disparity ballooned. When the game was in hand, the Suns were finally getting calls. As D'Antoni famously implored the refs, "NOW you're going to call it?"

This is an ugly story that should get even uglier - coyote ugly, if you will - if there is any justice in the world. So far, though, David Stern is going out of his way to portray this as an isolated incident, which it may well be. But that isolated incident intersected with the Suns run to a Championship this year, and I'd wager (yeah, I know) that anyone outside San Antonio saw it for what it was at the time. The biggest sham in the NBA since Orlando won the lottery as a .500 team.

Sure, the Suns COULD have still overcome and won that series after the controversial suspension, but how does it all look now that this "alleged" game-fixing ref might have been in a position to hand the Spurs a victory? How can David Stern erase that elephant of a line connecting the game 3 officiating bias and his own arrogant interpretation of an archaic rule?

He can't.

There is nothing he can say that will convince me, as a Suns fan, that there is no connection. At the very least, I perceive it as two independently biased actions meant to put extra money into someone's pocket, for whatever reason.

Does this mean that I am so disillusioned that I will not watch the NBA next year?

Not at all. On the contrary, I'm too interested to see how the League recreates the illusion of equity within the officiating. I feel like Ralphie the night before Christmas, knowing in my heart I'm going to get that BB gun and take down Black Bart once and for all.

I've got my sight set. Seven-six-two millimeter. Full metal jacket.

*Update: I do have game 3 on my PC, but I haven't filtered the copy protection, yet. I may just watch that very closely tonight and document any suspicious calls/non-calls made by Donaghy. I remembered one specific non-call from the end of that game, and I did find it at 2:48 of the 4th quarter. This should be interesting.

Equine Necroflogging

2007-07-20T02:29:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling selfish at the moment. I have a mad compulsion to be truthful in the same manner as to break up an otherwise happy marriage. I want to lay it on the line, and tell my wife that last month at her birthday party, I fucked her 20 year old sister in the bathroom at the strip club. I'm sorry, dear, but I can't continue with this burden of guilt hanging over me. I feel that it would be unfair to proceed under false pretenses, and I want to afford you the opportunity to decide our fate.

Not to beat a dead horse, I want the Suns to go full bore at Kevin Garnett. I want to see a front line of KG, Amare Stoudemire, and Grant Hill leading the Suns to the championship this season. Any regular to this blog knows of my man crush on Shawn Marion for his versatility and defense, but I think that the shooting and passing that KG brings is worth the sacrifice of all Marion's talents, luxury tax be damned.

Robert Sarver is an outsider of sorts to Phoenicians, despite his ties to the University of Arizona and Lute Olsen. He needs to understand exactly what this team means to those of us who have suffered years of disappointment and missed opportunities, which means that he needs to acknowledge that the organization as a whole owes it to us to bring an NBA title to the valley.

He is a fan just like the rest of us, so I hope he understands just how much he owes it to himself, on behalf of all of us long-suffering Suns faithful, to consider sacrificing a cherished piece of the current Suns line up for a greater good. I know that Matrix deserves a championship more than any of us, which is the sad irony of it all, but i warned that I am feeling selfish.

I'm sorry, Sweetheart, I'm in love with your sister.

I love you too much as a fan, Shawn, to be so disloyal as to consider cheating on you, let alone replacing you. It's just something I think about in the shower when you're away for three months, and I need a basketball fix. I just work through the scenario in my mind over and over again as the steaming water washes over my back until the tension can be released.

Although, I do wonder if you have ever fantasized about Jack Nicholson or Spike Lee sitting next to the visitor's bench.

We all have our fantasies.

Waiting to Exhale

2007-07-16T18:06:00.000-07:00

(Author's note: Originally started 6-14-07)

Exhale - Marc Iavaroni.

Inhale - Steve Kerr.

Exhale - lottery pick.

Inhale - Grant Hill.

Exhale - James Jones.

Inhale - luxury tax.

We knew long ago that coach Iavaroni would be leaving the organization this summer, a loss offset by the Suns' loss in the lottery. Atlanta nailing the third pick alleviates the impact of Iavaroni's loss because the Suns would have used that pick to bring in a young big man, and it was the coach's job to develop such players. His departure is softened further by the fact that, of five head coaching vacancies in the NBA this offseason, Alvin Gentry is staying. Instead of having to replace two veteran assistants, the Suns can get away with bringing in another new face to the coaching ranks. Scot Williams has applied for the job.

Despite all the disappointment of the season so far, this is not the worst case scenario. Actually, the odds seemed to have favored circumstances playing out exactly as they have. Atlanta had a one in three shot at landing a top three pick, and those are good poker odds. In baseball, that's an all star stat. Steve Kerr's inclusion into the mix was retrospectively predictable, and the salary issues have been looming for two years. We knew this was coming.

Yet for some reason, we all fell under the spell of the number four draft pick in a loaded class. I stopped saying "4-7" well before the playoffs started, and everywhere we turned someone was wondering aloud what the Suns would do with the 4th pick in the draft.

Oops.

That's what we get for watching too much television and listening to too many experts. But, hey, we were all sucked into the fantasy. Even this guy (whom my buddy, Kelly Dwyer, demanded that we read*) speculated on the Suns trade future after the second round of the playoffs, saying "the Suns could use their lottery pick to try to find another athletic forward." That was on May, 23.

All the hype, and none of the payoff. When will the predictability end?

Four or five years ago, some friends and I were planning a party for one of our friend's birthday. Typically, parties for our group just kind of happened. It usually started with a phone call between two of us talking about how we had nothing to do, and after an hour or so of brainstorming and a quick trip to the grocery store, people just sort of showed up and we were in the middle of a party.

And they were always great parties, however intimate they may have been (usually six or seven regulars with a little fresh meat thrown in). Pete watched The Food Network religiously, so he was our default resident chef. And he was damn good, too. On one non-party occasion, he decided to make a soup from scratch with a lot of stuff that I generally don't like to eat. Onions, kidney beans, celery (which I can't stand cooked), and lots of good, nutritious stuff that I tend to avoid. Well, considering that I went through three servings in about 15 minutes, Pete decided to name it "Crack whore soup". This wasn't so much due to my suddenly ravenous eating habits as it was my insistence that he make more right then. Yes, I was the crack whore of the soup, and I am still proud of that distinction. Nothing pleases a chef more than concocting a dish that even Morris the Cat would devour greedily.

For parties? One amazing Sunday, Pete was in the mood to experiment with a standing rib roast - prime rib before it's been sliced into single servings. The logic that follows is pretty simple. We have this gourmet meat, why not take it a step further? Surf and turf, anyone? Prime rib, crab legs, steamed asparagus, mashed potatoes, home made garlic bread . . . and Guinness. Corona usually sufficed, but this was spontaneity at its finest.

Alcohol played a large role in our get-togethers. It wasn't that we needed it to have fun, but in the context of a party, it proved vital in preventing such maladies as, say, Massive Sperm Build-up. Whether we stayed at home, went to the pool hall or a bar, we used alcohol in as many forms as we could find/make it as a way of transition from the banalities of working in a call center to the realities of young adulthood. As long as we maintained a certain degree of a medicated state, we coped with the fact that we were slaves of corporate America. These events and the key elements of food, alcohol, and weed were all that protected the world from Operation Mayhem taking place in downtown Tempe.

The birthday party was planned two weeks in advance. The day of the party, I went to pick up Pete and his girlfriend, and they immediately informed me that I had been designated as a driver. No, I was not happy about it. Yes, I agreed to it because I was the logical choice, as I was most likely to resist the temptation of the drink.

I was also the least likely to resist the temptation of our friend's stunningly hot, barely legal younger sister. It wasn't that I was trying to get in her pants. She and I just got along really well because we were both trained dancers. That, and whenever we were all hanging out, I was the one that received the unexpectedly long and comfortable goodbye hug. So when she walked up to me at the party with a tray of Gummi bears soaked in vodka, how in the world was I going to say no -- especially when she was spoon feeding them to me?!

I don't remember much of the party after that, except for Pete kicking me in the ribs while I was orally expelling excess toxins at the side of the house and yelling something about how he was going to have to get a cab.

Oops.

Steinbeck was no fool. The best laid plans, indeed.

Unfortunately for me, the Suns didn't have a smokin' hot younger sister to bring in Kevin Garnett or the fourth overall pick. Instead, we all became the designated drivers for the Hawks and whomever wins the KG sweepstakes in late September. Hopefully our team doesn't suffer the same effects as I did in my role as DD.

The Suns have other concerns, now, and it's all just a matter of time before we know where our team stands. In the mean time, I'm just going to hold this one sweet breath, and wait.

*Note: Kelly Dwyer basically said that Harlan Schreiber's blog is what inspired him to start his career as whatever-it-is-that-he-is. What cracks me up is how he describes the guy.

"Schreiber's take is often a nuanced one, you won't see too many black-or-white pronouncements with this guy; mainly because he knows the game, and respects his readership. I love that. I don't deserve that, but I love it."

I like to think that the "respects his readership" line is a personal dig, because everything he says about that guy is at least as true about mine.

"[Y]ou'll just have to steady yourself with actual, honest-to-goodness NBA insight. Schreiber's about as best in the blogosphere - or mainstream media, for that matter - when it comes to that insight."

Thanks for the compliment, KD.

Mountain Out of a Grant Hill

2007-07-13T23:52:00.000-07:00

OK...so I'm tooling around suns.com half expecting a breaking story about Steve Nash signing with the Suns as a free agent. That's how slow it is, despite Summer League play going on an hour's flight and lap dance away. It's gotten to the point where the part of my brain that processes Suns information is in hibernation, so I don't know what to make of the little information I am getting. So much so, that this stupid little poll caught my eye.

Poll courtesy suns.com screwcopyrightinfringementbullshitit'sjustadamnpicture.

The results of the poll (so far, of course), as unscientific and substantially invalid as they may be, leave me squirming in my seat a bit.

Now, I understand that Grant Hill has been around forever and used to be a perennial MVP candidate. I also understand that he's a great guy and that everybody loves him, as well he is an intelligent and respectable leader. Fine.

But we have a perennial MVP candidate (and one on the rise), we have a clubhouse full of great attitudes (rumors of internal discontent notwithstanding), and we've never really been short on that nebulous quality of "leadership".

I'll be forthright and tell you that I chose "Mid-range game" because that's really the only thing he brings that the Suns were lacking. He isn't the big, athletic shot-blocker we need, and he's not really Steve's back-up. He simply brings the element of the game that the team really needs from Shawn.

Mostly my beef is with the 827 people who believe that Hill brings experience more than anything else on the list.

Seriously? Experience?

Would that be the experience of watching 60% of his games the last 6 years in street clothes? We already have plenty of that in Sean Marks and Marcus Banks.

Maybe it's that playoff experience that will help get us past San Antonio. Well, except for the fact only Tracy McGrady has suffered more playoff futility than Grant Hill (6 first round exits to 5, neither player making it beyond).

Someone tell me what experience Grant Hill brings to the table that a) the Suns need and b) they don't have in droves already. Please. I need to know that not all fans are snowed by basketball ignorance, preventing them from holding realistic expectations as we head into another season.

As I said, my Suns circuitry is pretty much fried at this point. I saw a glimpse of FSN's Suns season retrospective, and the commissioner's vacant stare as he tries to convince himself that he made the right decision still burns my gut to the point that I simply want to punch him square in his smug, self-involved smirk. (I'm sure I'm not the only one.)

So I really don't know what to think of what the Suns have done so far, and I really have no expectations for next season, yet.

I believe that the Suns are still a title contender as currently composed (assuming the rookies make the regular season roster and contribute even 15 good minutes combined), so I don't really see what I need to get worked up about (bad grammar is a summer thing).

Yay Steve Kerr.

Yay Grant Hill.

Yay staying the course.

Someone wake me when the season starts. Better yet, let me sleep in until January. That's the first time any of us are really going to know what the team has going for it this season. Until then, I'll just talk in my sleep every once in a while, or maybe toddle off to the toilet for a late night whiz. Stay tuned...

Through the Looking Glass

2007-07-11T13:48:00.000-07:00

It is with great envy that I congratulate Dan from Bright Side on achieving the dream of every Suns fan who takes his precious time to build an entire website dedicated to the team. The son of a bitch got a better job.

Well done.

No News is Better News

2007-07-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

A headline on MSNBC over a man in front of a weather map declares "Interesting Weather in America".

Among the interesting weather phenomena...wild fires in the southwest. I'm intrigued, but they switched to a firework tent in Nebraska (I think) blowing up. Fireworks in a tent. Did we learn nothing from the misadventures of Merry and Pippen?

Al Gore's son was arrested yesterday in Orange County. What happened to Al Gore? He went from being presidential front runner to Patchouli Puffer in the span of three years, and now he's on about the environment and global warming. It's not that Al Gore's son was arrested for possession of marijuana and Percocet. It's not even that he was driving 100 miles per hour. Don't we expect that of our celebrity children?

[tangent]

Some dude dressed as a Nazi at a party isn't funny. Unless, of course, it's the prince of England.

[/tangent]

It's the simple fact that Al Gore III was arrested for possession of marijuana and Percocet while driving 100 miles per hour in a fucking Prius.

1. How did he get that car going that fast?
2. How did he get himself, on Percocet and weed, going that fast?
3. Did he have Joan Baez blaring on the MP3 player?

Hillary Clinton received an endorsement from two time Presidential candidate, Dick Gephardt. You may not remember him, as he ran out of funds during his first campaign and had to bail out early, and most recently finished fourth in the Iowa caucuses and promptly dropped out.

In related news, Shaquille O'Neal holds fat camp, not for himself, but for children.

Hillary Clinton and child health have one thing in common...hypocritical endorsement. At least people know who Shaq is.

Barry Bonds is three home runs away from catching Hank Aaron. Everyone wonders if Bud Selig and Hammerin' Hank should show up for the pseudo-historic event because of the taint of steroids. Scandalous as it is, steroid use was not against the rules of baseball, despite the fact that is against the rules of the U.S. Government.

Meanwhile, Chris Benoit killed himself and his family, apparently due to excessive steroid use. His doctor was arrested yesterday for supplying Benoit with large amounts of steroids. Reportedly, the wrestler was going through a three month supply in a matter of days.

No word on whether Bud Selig and Hank Aaron will attend the Benoit family funeral.

New headline: "Do Women Talk Too Much?"

Men and women speak about 16,000 words a day. Thank God for the University of Arizona. Finally the myth has been busted, no thanks to Adam and Jamie. A recent study shows that the stereotype of the chatterbox woman is untrue. Men and women, apparently, speak at the same rate.

I'm not creatively stupid enough to make that one up, so it must stand on its own. Yes, I am reporting the news, as it happens. Not the "news" in the traditional sense of factual, significant events happening around the globe, but the actual news in the sense of "this is what these people on television are telling me, and I'm relaying the message to my reader(s)".

*Update: In fairness to my pseudo-journalistic integrity, I must point out that the study doesn't actually dispel the stereotype. All it really does is show that men talk too damn much, too, and should probably consider avoiding gender equality in at least that one respect.

CNBC has a ground breaking series examining the "dark side of American greed". The gist of the plug is that people in America do devious, unethical, immoral, and dangerous things for lots of money. We'll file this under "NEWSFLASH! SCIENTISTS SPECULATE SHAPE OF EARTH TO BE SPHERICAL IN NATURE!"

I wonder why 24 hour news stations bother to have commercials. So much of the "reporting" revolves around three things.

1. Pop culture. What's new, what to watch, what to wear, what to buy. This is the hot new gadget/look/car/soda/cheeseburger you can't do without.

2. Vanity. Cover Girl and Max Factor must be making a mint off the Fox Morning show alone. The female anchors spend more time talking about how someone looks than doing their reading exercises, rendering teleprompters all over New York completely useless.

3. Money. How many times do we see MasterCard, Visa, American Express cards shown on the news in passing? Banking firms and loan institutions that are offering the best rates? How to manage your money by sending it all to these non-paying (?) sponsors.

If they're going to be showing so many commercials, I want to see some current events with my no-money-down-and-no-payments-until-2008-on-approved-credit living room set offer. Why do we never see a furniture commercial running on a 24 hour news network showing a guy reclining in a Lazy Boy watching Wolf Blitzer report on the financial growth of the IKEA corporation over the last ten years?

Wow. Newsflash for REAL! Pat Buchanan...rather, Pat "Chauvinist, Bigot, Christian Right Conservative" Buchanan says that Arizona Senators John McCain and Jon Kyl are out of touch with their own state. Why? Because Arizona has the toughest anti-illegal immigration bill in the entire country. At the same time, Kyl and McCain are in strong support of a federal bill that offers amnesty and open borders. There is no joke. That is actually what is going on. Arizonans are trying to shut down the border while their representatives in Washington are trying to keep it open (to an extent), and the voice of reason is Pat Buchanan.

The weather is back, and the theme is "Best Weather in America". Hot dogs. The background after the temperature map is hot dogs. And the reporter's opinion on Coneys makes me think of Nathan's Red Hots.

Apparently, we've wrapped around to the half hour. The stories are repeating now, and I wonder if I should have just TiVo'ed it. I feel comfortable knowing that the WWE knows for certain that steroids were not involved in Chris Benoit's family murder/suicide . . . until the tox screen comes back, of course.

STATlanta

2007-06-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

The Suns really blew this draft.

The front office choked big time on this one. Steve Kerr's first draft as Sun GM resembled Mike D'Antoni's first draft as Suns GM the same way that New Coke was similar to Pepsi.

Here ya go, Portland. Here's Sergio Rodriguez -- I mean, Rudy Fernandez. Not enough for you? OK. Here's Petteri Koponen. We didn't need a big backup point guard who likes to pass and can hit the open three when need be. We have one of those already, and we don't have to season that one. We hope you enjoy the three players who would make perfect apprentices for Steve Nash.

And the Suns' inaction (or failure to recognize a West Coast Apocalypse when Seattle traded Ray Allen to Boston for the fifth pick in the draft, Jeff Green, someone Phoenix had high on its list), led to the even more predictable move of Golden State obtaining Brandan Wright for Jason Richardson. I couldn't figure out Charlotte's pick until the Warriors took Marco Belinelli at number 18. That's when I remembered a fun trade scenario that had Jason Richardson going to Minnesota and Shawn Marion going to Golden State in a fantasy Garnett deal. I thought that Jason Richardson was a great piece of trade bait that someone would key in on. Seems that he's a good replacement for Gerald Wallace, which is why I said "Shit!" when the Warriors ordered Italian.

Meanwhile, the Suns did nothing. Well, it's not so much nothing, as they...is it possible to do the opposite of something and not have it be nothing? Like Bizarro World where a negative is a positive and Boston gets the number one pick in the draft. Curiously, they are still one of the elite teams in the West, the Suns. But that won't be the case in two years when Marion walks away, Nash is getting worn out from climbing the same mountain only to come up just short of the summit, Boris Diaw still hasn't made good on his $45 million promise, and Amare Stoudemire is tired of being hidden in the Valley.

I have been keeping an eye on all of the creatively insane trade scenarios over the last week. I hadn't put much stock into them, and it was obvious that none of them would work, but it was still interesting to think of extreme ways to improve the team. The one that floored me was the Atlanta myth. Talk about a tragedy of comedic proportions, that one had no business seeing the light of day. But after watching Jim Gray (the espn reporter who broke the "news" of that trade scenario) interview Mitch Kupchak on draft night coverage, I understand how it happened.

When Mitch Kupchak, a guy whom I think is as managerially inept as David Stern is morally corrupt, caught Gray trying to goad him into tampering on live television, Gray antagonized the Lakers' GM with questions about a Kobe Bryant deal. This is a credible source, according to espn. Someone told this maroon that Atlanta and Minnesota were trying to work out a deal to present to Phoenix to get Garnett to the Suns. The problem is, this idiot forgot to mention that the deal had not yet been presented to the Suns front office, so espn ran with it.

Funny shit.

But it got me thinking.

The Suns need to recover from this draftaster in a big way, and a championship or two, as well as some hope for the future, is the only way that could happen. And there is only one way that it should happen. Suns fans will hate it, but it would prove to be good for the Suns and good for the league.

The Suns should trade Amare Stoudemire to the Atlanta Hawks in order to bring Kevin Garnett to town.

Ouch. I know. It felt weird typing it. Hear me out, though.

The funniest thing about the supposed deal that we all heard about was that, had it ever materialized, Minnesota would have picks 3, 7, and 11, Atlanta would have Amare Stoudemire, and we'd be left with Garnett. Think about it.

Al Horford, Corey Brewer, and Acie Law IV in Minnesota.

Joe Johnson, Amare Stoudemire, Josh Smith in Atlanta.

Kevin Garnett, Shawn Marion, and Steve Nash in Phoenix.

Billy Knight and Kevin McHale, two of the worst GMs in the league, wouldn't bite on that deal if they worked for Phoenix. Atlanta, Minnesota, Golden State, Portland, and Seattle all get in position to compete for a decade while the Suns get set to compete for two years? I don't think so.

But what if the Suns got some youth in return, just for insurance? What if the Suns get Josh Smith and Corey Brewer in return? That would certainly make a transition from a veteran to young team in the New Power West shorter and more bearable for fans, and it would keep the deliverance of Amare Stoudemire from biting the Suns in the ass because he'll be relegated to the Leastern Conference with Joe Johnson. That has to be good for the NBA, building a young power in the East with playoff veterans such as Stoudemire and Johnson.

Back home, the locker room would certainly lighten up. I doubt that Kevin Garnett, Josh Smith, and Corey Brewer bring the same "I'M NUMBER ONE!" attitude that Amare carries like a Versace bag. Josh Smith would be the only one in danger of doing that, but that's only because he's never had the veteran presence of guys like Shawn Marion, Garnett, and Steve Nash.

The Suns have to do something. This season has been a disappointment ever since the Timberwolves, coincidentally led by a mythical 44 point game from KG, ended the Suns franchise best 17 game win streak at the end of January. After that, nothing mattered but the championship. When that didn't happen, our only saving grace was the draft, and that dream was shattered when the balls bounced Atlanta's way. (Seriously...what's with the stockpiling of forwards? Quit sucking and let other teams have a few.)

Now we have another busted draft. Steve Kerr better do something damn brilliant real soon, or I'm sensing a fan rebellion. Well, if he had the man sack to make that trade happen, Sunsland would probably burn like Watts 1965. But it's better than the alternative - standing idly by while three teams along the pacific coast become frighteningly talented and inevitably dominant.

If nothing else, I hear that the world is ending in 2012. Amare will be gone by then, anyway.

*Update 6-30-07

Maybe I'm just a statistics freak on some level, but I can't help but dream about a front line of Garnett, Marion, and Smith. Imagine the block, steal, and rebound totals from that front line.

I Didn't Vote for Him

2007-06-03T07:30:00.000-07:00

I had to wait until it was all over before I could speak on it. The Cleveland Cavaliers defeated the Detroit Pistons in game six of the Eastern Conference Finals last night to go on to the NBA Finals against San Antonio. Finally I can talk about the King, LeBron James.

The King.

LeBron James.

King James.

My ass.

I was seething inside all day Friday, biting my tongue whenever the urge to spout off about the 48 point game started burrowing out of my head. Suddenly everyone felt validated. Doubters changed their tune on a dime. LeBron jock rockers screamed "I TOLD YOU SO" in harmonic unison. And I sat there and took it. I waited because I had a feeling. I waited because I felt that I would have the last laugh.

Here is a sampling of the headlines and main story titles on the corporate sports network today.

Main Page Headline: Rock On, Cleveland
Photo Caption: Daniel Gibson's 19 fourth-quarter points helped put the Pistons away.

NBA Front Page Headline: Boobie Prized
Photo Caption: Gibson, who scored 19 points in the fourth, celebrates the Cavs' win.

AP Article Headline: Gibson's 31 points, James' balanced play puts Cavs in NBA Finals

Long live the king, indeed. The story of the decisive game is not LeBron's 3-11 shooting performance or disappearance in yet another fourth quarter. It is a rookie point guard, Daniel Gibson, who was in and out of the line up all year long, who stepped up to score 31 points - 19 of them in the fourth quarter of what had been a 1 point game entering the period.

A day earlier, the basketball loving world was talking about LeBron James and his MVP-like performance in the pivotal game five. He took over. He bullied his way through the Pistons. He was being compared to Jordan and Magic. With one performance, he finally could receive his coronation. He earned his crown.

For perspective, consider that LeBron's previous great playoff achievement that had people comparing him to Michael Jordan came a year ago against Washington. Gilbert Arenas stepped to the line for a pair of crunch time free throws that James apparently talked him into missing. How Jordan-esque. He got into Arenas' head. Before he ever had a playoff performance worth speaking about, James' top moment came defending the free throw line.

Even when he had a good game three (32-9-9) this year, people were still talking about whether or not LeBron should have taken the last shot in game two instead of passing to Donyell Marshall for the three.

James showed up for one quarter and two overtime periods of one game, and suddenly it really WAS LeBron's world. Two days later, after securing the team's first NBA Finals appearance ever, Cleveland's big story is Daniel freakin' Gibson. Sure, LeBron's statsheet-filling 20-14-8-2-2 will satisfy the congregation. But I wonder if his nineteen free throw attempts were the result of aggressive basketball or simply the benefit of the Jordan-Wade rule. Everyone on the Cavs without the name Gibson on their jerseys scored 12 points in the fourth, and I wonder how many of those were scored by James.

I'm not sold, and I never will be.

LeBron James is nothing more than the NBA's new brand of marketing. He's an actor playing a basketball superstar in real life. Watch him play. Watch his commercials. He does his best Jordan/Magic/Kobe impression whenever the opportunity arises. Upon landing from a slam dunk through an open lane in the first quarter of game four, LeBron stopped and posed for the baseline cameras. A playoff game. Eastern Conference Finals. FIRST QUARTER.

Is this kid playing to win, or is he putting on a show for the cameras? He enjoys his camera time too much, and he has no idea the right move to make when it really matters in a big game. He doesn't understand that real life games are not the same as the edited versions he's seen on clip shows and White Men Can't Jump. The shots finally fell in game five, and the marketing machine that created him - the same one that has been soiling its collective Pampers as LeBron continues to fail to live up to their hype - proudly anointed him King...again.

A little more perspective. This is the same LeBron James who could not carry his team in a close out game at home against a New Jersey team that scored all of six points in the fourth quarter.

I think that the best thing about everything is that the NBA playoffs are lower than just about every televised sporting event right now. So not only did no one see this magnificent performance by James in game five of the Eastern Conference Finals, no one is really hearing the media bang their tin cups against the iron bars, either.

Congratulations, guys. You are the trees falling in an isolated forest.

Circle of Death

2007-05-31T11:08:00.000-07:00

Tumbleweeds.

I have seen only three of Sergio Leone's movies - For a Few Dollars More; The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly; and Once Upon a Time in the West.

Amazing films, all of them. It is rare that I recommend anyone see a movie of any kind because people's tastes are too variant to predict something so personal as a favorite film. Movies touch us all in different ways, and it is hard for me to gather how one film would affect one person in a particular way. But there are exceptions that I feel transcend personal tastes and offer enough substance to cover just about everyone. My top three movies of all time are must sees.

Everyone living in the world today needs to sit down for an hour and forty five minutes to watch Network. It is not only a timeless classic, it is eerily and accurately prophetic. Kung Fu Hustle is just such a fun, hilarious, and beautiful movie that is perfect for people who just like to see a lot of cool action. At the same time, it is a full on homage to classic Hollywood with references to Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, The Shining, Looney Tunes (most notably the Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote), and the classic John Ford hero entrance where we first see our protagonist from the ground up. As for the third, I need say no more than The Shawshank Redemption.

Sergio Leone is the Godfather of Italian Western cinema. He made Clint Eastwood a star and Henry Fonda a villain. He made Eli Wallach a Mexican, Jason Robards a washed up gunslinger, Lee Van Cleef a classic, troubled cowboy hero in one movie and the classic, sinister cowboy villain in the next, and he put Charles Bronson on the map as a leading actor. He did all that in these three movies.

The greatest thing about Leone's films is that they tend to be precise and deliberate. Another way to describe them is slow. Painfully slow. They are all at least two and a half hours long, and there is not a lot of dialogue. They might almost be considered elaborate mood pieces because Leone uses imagery, camera angles, lighting, subtle movements, natural and embellished sound to tell the story. It is always very hard to tell what is happening until after something actually happens. He gives us time to think about it, then hits us with it full force in magnificent shootouts and improbable escapes.

They tend to drag a bit in the middle, which is usually when most of the story is fleshed out. We discover motivations, character backgrounds, plot points, and all the boring stuff that moves a movie forward. Those sequences are usually meaningless in the grand scheme of the film, and only distract from the overall experience. I'll usually catch the Simpsons or Stargate SG-1 during those sections.

Sergio Leone tends to use thematic devices, as well. He will introduce an innocuous object (a musical locket, a harmonica) at the very beginning, and he uses it so much throughout the movie that the audience, I suppose, is meant to take it for granted. We know that it is important because he keeps showing it to us, but maybe it is just a part of the character and maybe it only means something to him. Invariably, it becomes the latch that encloses a giant circle, reminiscent of that other classic adventure film, The Princess Bride. "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya."

That moment of closure always takes place within the boundaries of a circle of stone, when the antagonist and protagonist finally face off for their quick draw show down (although in Once Upon a Time..., it was a half circle). Again, the set up is painfully slow, and the pay off is mind-numbingly quick. The long pause and camera shots pull the viewer into the tension, everyone waiting for something bad to happen. The points of view flash between extreme closeups of dirty faces and steady fingers hovering over cocked six-shooters. We sit and wait, never blinking. Before you hear the sounds of gunshots, the villain falls dead in the circle of death.

David Stern might not make a good Henry Fonda, but Steve Nash is a fine alternative to Charles Bronson. Maybe even Clint Eastwood, although Stern would still make for a terrible Lee Van Cleef (bad ass actor - look him up).

Kurt Thomas, a washed up gunslinger. Amare Stoudemire, a superstar in the making. Shawn Marion, a Mexican to do all the dirty work. Boris Diaw, good guy one year, villain the next. It goes on and on.

I wonder how this particular trilogy versus the Spurs will end. To end the final installment of "the man with no name" trilogy, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Leone had a white-hatted Eastwood gun down Van Cleef in his Sunday blackest. The same Van Cleef who, in the second installment, For a Few Dollars More, played the gunslinger with the vendetta against the outlaw, and who took the young gunslinger under his tutelage. I haven't seen the first film, Fist Full of Dollars, but I did see the 2005 Western Conference Finals.

Maybe all that doesn't matter, because in Once Upon a Time in the West, a young Charles Bronson found his revenge on the former John Ford poster child for the all American cowboy hero, Henry Fonda. In one fell swoop and horrible act of unheard of violence, Fonda shed his glimmering good guy image and became the consummate villain, capable of deeds none thought possible - deeds like shooting a ten year old boy to death as his character's introductory action.

He played dirty, and Harmonica exorcised his demons in quick draw, shot clock expiring fashion.

My Dinner with Shawn

2007-05-26T12:40:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to think of stories to write, but finding subject matter in the apocalyptic wasteland that is the beginning of the offseason can be like searching for water in the Sonoran desert in July when all the cactuses (28 years in Arizona, and I still don't know if it's "cacti") are on fire. Suns articles are sparse.

Times like these, I find myself allowing my imagination to wander. Keep in mind the vastness of that imagination. It is one that has successfully envisioned the entire universe in one shot. Reality is determined, but fantasy's options are infinite.

I have such complex ideas and the memory to retain them that I have, in my head, an entire science fiction miniseries complete with detailed descriptions of faster than light travel and the engines with which the feat is possible. I have technology, worlds, conflict, multiple story lines, and back story on every character, and there are thirteen so far.

One cannot rightfully accuse me of myopic thinking.

The lack of information to write about has left my imagination to ponder what has been said behind the locked glass doors at U.S. Airways Center. I think about what it would be like to have a position that allows me to speak to the players and interested parties face to face. I've let my mind wander to the point that I have a story about an amateur blogger working his talents into legitimate writing jobs, that eventually led him to coaching and ultimately an NBA championship. Oh, I've been thinking a lot lately.

Like my dinner with Shawn Marion the other night.

I wrote earlier in the season about my belief that Shawn and I would get along nicely, being that we have so many psychological similarities. And now, more than ever, I wish I were in a position to talk to him over a nice filet Mignon, my treat. (Shawn's a notorious cheapskate, but that happens when you grow up poor and learn the true value of a dollar in the United States.)

We were sitting in this nice, upscale north Scottsdale restaurant talking about the future of the club. What do the Suns need to do to win a title next year?

"We just gotta do what we do," Shawn insisted.

"You've been doing what you do, though. The team needs to do something more," I replied, shoveling the medium well steak into my mouth, giving him the opportunity to answer, and myself the opportunity not to have to expound.

"I do everything I can to help the team win," he explains. "The team just needs to step up on defense. I'm guarding the best players in the league every night, and I need some help behind me."

"Fair enough. But what can YOU do?"

"I don't know, man. What more can I do?" We've heard that question from Shawn before, and it is at this point that I take over the conversation, turning it into my own basketball version of a Shakespearean monologue.

Shawn, you need to focus on defense. The best thing that you can do for this team is to concentrate all your efforts on winning that Defensive Player of the Year award, and the only way to do that is to sacrifice your offensive numbers. Your goal should be to make the All Defensive first team. You've been saying it for years, so now it's time to prove it. Make the commitment.

Let Amare have his numbers. We all know that he's the key to a title, and his production will offset any that Tim Duncan or Dirk Nowitzki put up. But the team needs to stop the other teams' second men. That's where you come in, Shawn. Your job is to lock that guy down and allow your team to take care of the rest.

You should still get your points. There is nothing wrong with scoring 15 a game, especially when you're pulling down 12 rebounds and sending two shots back per game and picking the opponent's pocket three times. Those plays lead to fast break basketball, which is where your offensive talents lie, anyway. Score your points on the break, or the occasional screen and roll when Amare is sitting, or on those nifty in bound alley oops from Boris Diaw.

It's all about being a great defensive player who is a scoring threat. So far in your career, you've been a scoring threat who is a great defender. Being known as a scorer, though, won't get you the accolades you need to justify your career. You have an ugly (albeit it mostly effective) jump shot, and that's just not marketable. You're a good passer, but creating off the dribble isn't your strong suit. You have to do something that is unmistakeably amazing, and that is defend the opposition's best player, and shut his lights out.

Just make sure that you play 100% on defense. Shawn, my friend, it's time to go Scottie Pippen on the league. You'll get your thirty point games, just as he did. But you will also gain the respect of the league as one of its best all around defenders. Remember, Pippen made the top 50 all time players list by doing that. There is room in the next 50 for you.

By the time the dessert tray made its way by, Shawn had barely touched his plate. It wasn't that he was stunned or upset at everything I was telling him. He was simply that deep in thought at the prospect of being remembered as one of the greatest all around players of all time.

More than the gratifying ego boost he received, Shawn seemed intrigued with the idea of being known for something specific and spectacular. The Glove, the Dream, the Sidekick. They were great defenders who did what they do.

I guess that Shawn's biggest fear is ending his career as a Bruce Bowen or Dikembe Mutombo. He's already established himself as a posterizer, so he probably shouldn't be thinking that an all out defensive season would put him in those offensively challenged ranks.

So finally, over coffee and cheesecake, Shawn said to me, "Well, if that's what I do, then I'll be doing what I do, ya know what I'm sayin'?"

Classic Shawn.

I got this check, big fella. You pick up the championship check for us.

Crazy Train Aside

2007-05-24T21:43:00.001-07:00

Wow. I'm sitting here watching VH-1 Classic, waiting for my dinner of bangers and mash to finish cooking. It's a recipe I picked up in Australia, and it's great game food. So I'm watching the VH-1 Rock Honors special, and they have the classic Black Sabbath lineup (Randy Wilde on guitar) with Ozzy wailing "Crazy Train".

This is the late 80s lineup that brought us such instant classics as "Bark at the Moon" and "No More Tears". I remember this because "No More Tears was the first Ozzy Osbourne single that I truly loved. The video was dark and sinister, with a woman drowning in her own tears. It was a beautiful site at midnight on Friday for a late-teenaged young man without a date and with an extraordinary sense of the artistic.

The most striking image from the video was a shot from below hip level showing Randy Wilde treating his guitar like a summer lover. She was a black and white target paint job on a flying V six-string (not Target as in cheap Chinese merchandise, target as in bulls eye), and she danced like a rabid wolf under the trance of the syncopated strobe. It's the same guitar he is playing right now on VH-1 Classic Rock Honors, and it's Ozzy singing "Crazy Train".

And now dinner is done, the Simpsons is on, and all I have my trusty Red Rider BB gun with a compass in the stock and this thing, which tells time.

*Update:

I'd like to thank JK-1 for correcting my misinformation on the Oz. I like learning, so that was really cool of him. Thanks, mate.

Oh, Those Cursed Suns

2007-05-23T14:19:00.000-07:00

So the Hawks struck gold. So what? It's not the end of the world. It just makes the Suns' offseason a little more trying. The front office is going to have to make some tough decisions without a superstar draft pick to work into the mix. That's OK. Maybe we'll get lucky, and Griffin and D'Antoni will be able to swing Diaw plus two first rounders for Andre Iguodala. Maybe I'll wake up one morning with the sad realization that I am, indeed, awake, and that deal will never happen.

C'est la vie.

Whether we've wanted to admit it or not the last two years, I think that we have all had the sense that Atlanta got the better part of the Joe Johnson deal all along. We tried to put on our brave faces, and we were justified for a time as Boris Diaw made a name for himself in the league while garnering the Most Improved Player award last season. But the truth is that he is no Joe Johnson. For some reason, all that basketball skill and basketball IQ just don't seem to add up to a basketball player.

Who cares? What's done is done, and we knew that losing this year's pick was a major possibility. They had a 1 in 4 chance, after all, which is pretty good poker odds.

The Suns still have Steve Nash, Amare Stoudemire, Shawn Marion, Leandro Barbosa, and Raja Bell. This is still a 60 win team, remember? So why are we so down? We're not cursed. The Suns are NOT the Chicago Cubs of the NBA. Yes, we've had a run of "bad luck", but Phoenix is still a title contender. If you want bad luck, just pop on over to Boston with Bill Simmons, and you'll know the misery of terminal misfortune. This whole draft thing is a minor set back. The draft offered the possibility of flexibility in the offseason. The Suns still have assets, but they will probably have to bite the bullet on the luxury tax next season. May as well.

Robert Sarver wants a title as badly as the rest of us to justify his investment in the Suns. He came into this league in the same vein as Mark Cuban, but quickly learned that the Maverick owner path would lead to self destruction. So to distance himself, he has remained behind the scenes letting nature take its course with these Suns. A championship will go a long way into securing his legacy with the team, simultaneously overpowering the long Colangelo shadow and removing himself from the Cuban pack. I think that Sarver will pay $12 million for one year if it means retaining the core of a title contender.

Consider the center of that Suns core.

Robert Sarver loves Amare Stoudemire. Stat's his guy. Sarver knows very well that Stoudemire is the key to a Suns championship, as not since the Bulls has an NBA not featured a dominant big man. The thing about Stoudemire, though, is that he is weak defensively. When he's paying attention, he's an excellent weak side shot blocker. And when he displays the energy and passion for statistics, he's a monster rebounder. But he doesn't do it consistently, and he seems to feel that he has to compete with someone for the stats. Enter Shawn Marion.

Shawn keeps Amare honest on defense. Without Marion directing traffic and plugging holes, Amare is exposed for his defensive lapses. And Amare really seems to love fighting Shawn for rebounds. Amare is even starting to steal the ball more. It is an on-court relationship that needs to stay in tact for one more year. If Shawn decided that, for one year, he would concentrate solely on defense and getting that defensive player of the year award, and not even think about offensive numbers (no more threes, only back door cuts and alley oops), Amare Stoudemire could explode next season.

I have a feeling that he will, too.

Amare had a great season coming off microfracture surgery, but it was average for him. He only scored 20.6 points and grabbed 9.6 rebounds a game this season. Those numbers jumped to 25 and 12 in the post season. Amare wasn't as explosive this year as he was in 2005, so he relied more on finesse moves under the basket.

Two seasons ago, a classic Amare move was his one handed dunk from three feet to the left of the basket. The defender would think that he's blocked the attempt or altered the shot, but Amare's arm seemed to reach another five feet as he threw it down with force. This year, that became a lay up (he had the opportunity in the March 14 game at Dallas, when Eric Dampier came between him and the basket - Amare dropped the shot in for the and-one instead of dunking it).

Jason Kidd came back six months after having the procedure. Two years later, he averaged a triple double in the first round of the playoffs. Amare Stoudemire is coming up on the two year anniversary of having his procedure. Add to that Amare's desire to "be the man", and you have the makings of an MVP caliber season. I fully expect Amare Stoudemire to post 27 points and 12 rebounds next season, challenging his own teammate and two time MVP Steve Nash for the award in 2008.

The kid could average 40 and 15 through a round in the playoffs. Why not? He averaged 37 and 9.8 in the 2005 Western Conference Finals against the Spurs. He averaged 26.4 and 10.6 this season. In a first round match up against a team like Golden State, Amare could do an amazing impression of Wilt Chamberlain.

A lot of those points are going to come from Steve Nash assists, of course, so I wouldn't be surprised to see Steve average 16 points and 14 assists next season. After getting jobbed by the media this season, Steve might very well be the sentimental favorite to win the MVP next year. As Steve goes, so go the Suns.

All this talk about the lottery and the suspensions and whatever voodoo, Babe Ruth, Billy Goat curse is grossly misplaced. The lottery is just the basketball gods' way of telling us that we are just fine. Karma will prevail, and the Suns will stun the league. The Hawks have their lottery gold, we'll have our championship gold. Big deal.

*Update:

Dan Bickley wrote a very good article about the state of blame.

Suns GM

2007-05-21T23:20:00.000-07:00

The NBA Draft Lottery will be held today at 5:30 PM Arizona time and will be televised on ESPN. I will be watching. I have not watched a draft lottery, since I first arrived in Chicago in 1995. The Suns' season had ended prematurely in the Western Conference Semifinals to the eventual champion Houston Rockets. I needed a fix.

The Suns had a late first round pick that year, so there was no real reason for me to watch that draft. I believe the Suns had the 21st pick, with which they chose Arizona State's Mario Bennett. A 6'9" flyswatter in the Shawn Marion mold, Bennett never really fulfilled what little potential he had. The Marion mold does not necessarily mean Marion talent or Marion's Wolverine-like health.

This year could be different, though. If the Atlanta Hawks don't strike gold, the Suns, coming off a league second best 61 win season, will end up with a pick no higher than four and no lower than seven. They also have Cleveland's 23rd pick and the Suns' own 29th pick in the first round. This is a loaded draft, full of athletic prospects with playoff experience and All Star potential. If the Hawks don't strike gold, the Suns will.

Everything that the Suns front office does this summer hinges on that draft. A number four pick could very well answer all of the Suns problems. The team needs to dump salary, fill a wing with scoring and rebounding, and find a player to give Nash a spell in big games.

Robert Sarver has made no secret that he likes the core of this team, and he wants to keep it together. That means that Marion, Amare Stoudemire, Nash, Leandro Barbosa, and Raja Bell are welcome next season. James Jones, although a decent defender with a nice three point stroke, is far too inconsistent to count on in the major moments as was, say, Joe Johnson. An unfair comparison, to be sure, it is still exactly what the Suns need. An aggressive three point threat with a strong handle to get off his own shot or open up a play for a teammate, and who can rebound a little as well. Boris Diaw with a jump shot and foot up his ass would be nice.

Robert Sarver has also made it known that he would certainly look into trading up in the draft to secure a top two seed, thus nabbing Texas' freshman sensation and NCAA Player of the Year Kevin Durant. That would easily solve all the Suns' problems in one fell swoop. It may be a pipe dream, though, as Boston is not likely to trade a top two pick (they've said so publicly). If the Celtics obtained the number two pick, then the Suns would be hard pressed to shoot for the number one pick. It would cost them Shawn Marion, that's for sure.

Anyone else gets the top two, and the door is open to trade all three Suns picks for that number two, along with a veteran player and possibly future cap relief. Boris Diaw would do well in Memphis or Milwaukee. It's a long shot, so I wouldn't count on that scenario taking place. More likely, the Suns will get the number four pick. Al Horford, though not a great offensive threat, is certainly big enough and strong enough to fill that rebounding void. His athleticism could be just the ticket to spell Marion a few extra minutes a game. Then maybe Shawn won't be so prone to take a few defensive possessions off in order to save some energy for later in the game.

I see Horford going number three, though, which leaves the Suns with a tough choice to make. Do they go for potential, and select North Carolina's 6'10" 215 pound freshman forward, Brandon Wright? Or do they go for more size and established game in the 7'1" Yi Jianlin of China? If I had to make a choice between those two, I would take the Chinaman. His size and athleticism, as well as his outside shot and willingness to run the floor, make him a perfect fit for Mike D'Antoni's system. He also offers the advantage that his weight will allow him to body Tim Duncan, if it came down to it.

If Atlanta gets lucky, then I would look for the Suns to make a deal with Toronto. I know that this may be WAY out there, but Bryan Colangelo is the one who put Boris Diaw in the Joe Johnson trade. Diaw might work better in a system without Amare Stoudemire, and the Suns could use an experienced back up point guard like Jose Calderon. I doubt that Colangelo would let a stud like Calderon go for Diaw, but he might for Diaw and one or two of those draft picks.

It all depends on what happens at 5:30 PM Tuesday May 22, 2007. I hope that the Suns secure that top four pick, then all our problems could be solved in one fell swoop. Good luck, Mike. May the balls bounce your way. Here's to Boston 3, Atlanta 4.

*Update:

A speculation on Amare's amazing 2007-08 season coming soon to A Clockwork Orange near you. Stay tuned.

No Friend of Mine

2007-05-19T21:54:00.000-07:00

What do Paul Coro, Kelly Dwyer, and Henry Abbott have in common?

While you ponder that question, allow me to give some background information about myself.

I have, as noted by accredited sources, an antisocial personality. I am uncomfortable around people for the most part because I just don't click with society in general. (This point is made painfully clear when one considers my preference to sit in a small, dark room typing away on my computer over any and all social activities, which means that I don't keep a lot of friends.) It can be a lonely and depressing existence at times, but in my mind, it beats the alternative of feeling like I'm living in a mental ward populated by around 300 million patients.

The few people that I do let into my little world generally pass the initial test of not being a complete moron. Admittedly, I have made mistakes, but none that I haven't quickly rectified. For instance, there was the "friend" who stole my portable DVD player and several movies to trade for a teener of meth. I know he did it because he was in my house at the time the items turned up missing, and he had zero money of his own. To his credit, though, he did offer to share it with me, despite his insistence that he did not rip me off.

I chalk up that friendship to a drug induced stupor, though, as I was certainly experimenting at the time - anything to curb the banalities of college life. I wasn't using that particular chemical nightmare when it all happened, which made it all the more astounding that he would even offer to share that which could technically be described as my property.

I made a mistake, and I kicked him out of my life, leaving the supposed friend no doubt that he was no longer welcome in my immediate vicinity.

The gist of all this is that I stay away from people because I cannot mentally handle the innate stupidity with which the general population conducts its daily affairs. It drives me nuts - to the point that fantasies of the barrel of a large caliber firearm resting on the base of my skull bring me a sense of peace.

But even in the virtual world I am not safe.

I knew right after Amare Stoudemire's and Boris Diaw's suspensions came down from the elephant tusk towers of the league offices in New York that I would not be able to go to any basketball site because there would be bitter Laker fans and smug Spurs fans talking about how bad the Suns are and what an amazing team San Antonio is. I also knew that some moron would come out with a gem like this...

I sincerely believe that San Antonio would have won a fairly called Game 4. This could have ended in five.

-Henry Abbott, Truehoop.com

Obviously not a Clockwork Orange reader.

Here writes a person, under the guise of "basketball expert", that the only thing that kept the Spurs from taking this sooner is an unevenly called game four. You remember that one, don't you? It was the one in which Tim Duncan was actually in foul trouble for once, as well as having been called for two travels on his infamous shuffle step under the basket. It was also the game that hid the free throw shooting disparity of the series and made it look as if the other five games were fairly called. You can read the entry below for information on that.

Are people out there really so full of themselves that they have the ability to ignore indisputable hard evidence that contradicts their own beliefs, simply because someone suddenly decided to call them "experts"? This is as bad as a rich, white politician saying that the only problem with the working poor is that they are simply not working hard enough.

It astounds me that the world is able to function like this.

What scares me the most, I think, is that there are actually people out there who get most of their information from people like Henry Abbott and Kelly Dwyer. Even my imaginary arch nemesis Paul Coro is on the Suns' case in this most perverted example of bandwagon jumping from the site that banned my IP.

The Spurs still have the Suns' number. Phoenix is still nothing more than a great, entertaining regular season team. Playoff basketball is a different brand of ball geared for the physical and clutch.

-Paul Coro Suns beat writer for the Arizona Republic

Isn't it his job to be dissonant going the OTHER way? Maybe he didn't watch the Phoenix Suns gut it out for six games, holding the Spurs to 43.7% shooting over the middle four games (series low 40.3% without Stoudemire and Diaw). Maybe he didn't see Steve Nash turning the Suns bench into the river Nile of Moses' day when the Suns needed his clutch the most. Maybe he didn't see an exhausted Suns team trying their hardest to make a clutch play without the services of its biggest man and free throw machine in game five. And maybe he missed game four altogether, considering that it was the biggest clutch performance by the Suns the entire season.

The one thing these three people have in common is that not a single one of them has a fundamental understanding of the game of professional basketball. For the simple fact that they write about the game for a weekly paycheck, they are three of the biggest offenders in a world gone completely retarded.

I don't claim to be a genius. I left that up to the clinical evaluation. But I will NEVER sit here and toss aside half a story in order to prove my own argument. I have a really nasty habit of looking at all the information available, comparing it, then drawing a conclusion that almost always supports my first hand observations. If my research doesn't support my view, I do one of two things.

1. I don't write about it.

2. I admit my error and move on.

If everyone in the world exercised my discretion, maybe I wouldn't be sitting in a small, dark room typing away on a computer. If fewer people were as ignominiously ignorant as those three "experts", then perhaps I would take the trouble to go outside and make more friends.

As it stands, I would rather not risk a gun to the back of my head.

Wrongs, Rights, and What's Left

2007-05-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

There is absolutely no part of me that wants to give San Antonio credit for beating the Suns in the 2007 Western Conference Semifinals. Forget the "vicinity of the bench" debacle on the part of David Stern and Stu Jackson. Even if that never happened, I cannot say for certainty that the Suns would have won this series - not when the best defense is a favorable whistle.

I am not convinced that San Antonio is a great defensive team (or even a good one, for that matter). It's impossible for me to believe that when Tim Duncan can swipe Amare Stoudemire's or Kurt Thomas' or Leandro Barbosa's arm, and it shows up as a block in the box score. I don't buy that Bruce Bowen can pull on Steve Nash's off arm on a lay up attempt, or Bowen's constant grabbing at Nash's arms, hips, and legs qualifies as stifling defense. After all, there are rules that clearly state "[c]ontact initiated by the defensive player guarding a player with the ball is not legal. This contact includes, but is not limited to, forearm, hands, or body check" (Rule 12, Part B, Section Ib).

For the record, nowhere in the rules does it state that a foul must be called when a player "flops" or flails his arms with the intent of drawing a call, even if no foul, or simple "incidental contact" (Exception 5 of the above stated rule), occurs.

That's all just my interpretation of "bright line rules" as set forth by the NBA, though. Far be it from me to criticize someone else for a poor performance of a difficult job, but after watching six games of hacking, clawing, grabbing, slapping, kneeing, and hip checking, I wonder whether or not any officials outside of Joe DeRosa, Jack Nies, and Steve Javie have actually read the rule book. They were the only crew the entire series that bothered to call fouls and violations on the Spurs (except for Tony Parker's blatant double jump stop through the lane, of course).

If anyone wants more proof, just look at the game three foul shooting and violation disparity between the Suns and Spurs. It doesn't get any clearer than that.

The final numbers indicate that the Suns should have won this series. The Suns were outrebounded by a total of ten for the entire series. They had only two more turnovers than the Spurs. They made six more shots, but went to the foul line 14 fewer times. Game four was the only one in which the Spurs out-fouled the Suns, and the Suns went to the line significantly more times than the Spurs. (I mentioned before the game even started that it was a good, veteran crew, so don't accuse me of bias on that one.)

But here's the kicker. Take game four out of the equation, and the referee bias becomes painfully clear. The other five games saw the Spurs called for 107 fouls to the Suns' 106. Somehow, though, the Spurs wound up going to the free throw line 143 times compared to the Suns' 112 trips. I'll say that another way to get the point across.

THE SPURS SHOT THIRTY ONE MORE FREE THROWS IN THOSE FIVE GAMES DESPITE COMMITTING ONLY ONE MORE FOUL!!!

I use the word "committing" loosely, as I made the point earlier that the Spurs don't get called for a lot of fouls. Somehow, some way, the Suns fouls nearly always seemed to end up with the Spurs shooting free throws, while the Suns took the Spurs' fouls out of bounds. Consider this - all of the Spurs wins in this series were by a combined 23 points.

But none of it matters now, anyway, because the series is over...done...finished...dead.

The Suns did everything right, everything they could do to win this series. Phoenix outplayed San Antonio at both ends of the court, yet they were not rewarded for their efforts. All things being equal, I can easily see this as a Suns series win in five games, but my preseries prediction was six games. Had it not been for suspect officiating and a DUBIOUS ruling by the commissioner, one that he clearly lied about when defending his stance, the Spurs would be watching the rest of this series at Ultimate Electronics with the rest of the San Antonio faithful.

And what's left for the Suns and their fans? The same thing we have all had to endure the last two postseasons. A whole year of "what ifs".

What if the series had been called evenly?

What if David Stern had stood up for the integrity of the game (as Bud Selig so often claims he does) and meted out just punishment for Robert Horry's dirtiest of plays?

The Suns had it all this year. Defense, depth, health, and a commitment to winning, exemplified by Steve Nash's demonic approach to winning at all costs (except the cheap and dirty ways, of course). The Suns had the complete offense with Amare Stoudemire back in the middle, and they had the hunger and experience finally to topple Mount Duncan.

So why are WE the ones sitting at home left to ponder the future? Why are WE the ones suddenly looking forward to the draft lottery, hoping that Atlanta doesn't get lucky? Why are WE the ones forced to speculate about trading the most versatile defender the league has ever seen?

For such an amazing season to end the way it did, why are we the ones left to ask the big, difficult questions?

When you consider that we had the hopes and confidence finally to make it to the top, it is painful to sit here and ask the toughest question of all.

What's left for us?

Suns-Spurs Round 2 Game 6

2007-05-18T15:18:00.000-07:00

There is a post forthcoming, although I do not yet know how detailed it will be. I will be watching with fellow fans again, so I might do a play by play of fan action as well, which might be rather "interesting". Stay tuned.

My apologies. We got behind watching it on DVR. A horrible game in many ways.

Fire David Stern.

This should be the greatest western conference finals in the history of the league. The ratings will be through the roof. Why the NBA preferred it this way, I may never know. It seems that David Stern doesn't like dark men with a lot of tattoos. The whiter and blander, the better, I guess.

Prerecorded Lies

2007-05-17T18:17:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday May 16, 2007, NBA Commissioner David Stern answered questions from Michael Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser on the daily espn show, Pardon the Interruption. Below is a truncated version of the seven and a half minute interview (which was recorded well before the broadcast, apparently to avoid a similar outburst from Stern as Dan Patrick received earlier in the day). Feel free to read along with my transcript. I will be coming back to this a bit later, as there are some curious statements made by Stern in this interview, which happened well before tip off of game five.

TK: Stu Jackson said earlier, he said, "It's not a matter of fairness, but of correctness. Is this decision fair to the Suns, in your opinion?

DS: Oh, absolutely.

TK: Even though Robert Horry would be correctly seen as the protagonist in this whole thing.

DS: Uh, yes.

MW: Is there any ability to take intent into account...any desire to do that on your part?

DS: Well, I think we'll discuss it with the owners if they'd like to consider a change, but, but we measure it almost, ummm, by, ya know, by looking at it and say, "Listen, you can't come off the bench, and if you go 20 feet down the line, and I don't know what, I, ya know, I've looked at the tape, obviously. Amare went running out there. In fact, the referee had to stop tending to the combatants to push him away, and finally, his own coaches eventually figured it out, went and grabbed him and pushed him back. And so it's left for me to decide what was in Amare's head when he went there?

TK: I understand when you say that you can't look into Amare's head to find...ya know, to determine why he did what he did, and I understand the fear of something combustible happening like that. But you are, essentially, the sole judge in this particular case. Was there ever a point where you said, "Maybe I should consider benefit of the doubt and apply the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law"?

DS: I think that what we said, quite simply, and really this is the spirit of the rule. That's the part where people have missed the point, here, in my point...in my...in my f...belief. The spirit and the letter of the law say, "Thou shalt not leave the bench...area...during an altercation." And in this case, two of the seven members of the Suns who were on the bench went running down the sideline, and were 20 or 25 feet from the bench. I don't know what the spirit...is different than the letter, here. They were not to be there. They knew it, their coaches knew it, and they violated it.

DS: Unfortunately for the Suns, they had two players that were not able to control themselves, and, and it, it cost them those two important players, and a very important game. And if you think this is a great result for the NBA, you're wrong. It's a terrible result for the NBA, but it's the result required by the rule and its enforcement.

Suns-Spurs Round 2 Game 5

2007-05-16T19:35:00.000-07:00

Pregame

OK. So we're all done talking about league stupidity for a few minutes, and hopefully for the rest of the season. I will be doing a transcript of David Stern's interview on PTI from today, and he will be exposed as the lying, manipulative prick that he is. It should be fun, especially once I get all the relevant games downloaded and transferred.

As usual, it's tough to know what to expect with this game. The energy and officiating have been all over the place, and I don't know how Stern's vindictiveness will come into play. Will the Suns get favorable calls to make up for the league's unjust solution to Monday night's Spurs meltdown? Or will Stern be so upset and defensive over EVERYONE questioning him that he'll instruct the refs to screw the Suns royally?

This game will go a long way in determining the near future of the NBA.

In the mean time, there are some funny doin's over at the Purple Palace. Several fans wearing bicycle helmets and bandages in preparation for sitting close to the Spurs players. There's a sign showing love to the Chuckster for his defense of Amare and Boris (what a quick turn around - we ARE forgiving).

Kenny thinks that Steve needs to have a 30 point, 18 assist game. Well, it's possible, I guess. I certainly hope that Nash has those numbers at the end of this game. And Chuck calls the Spurs "Stepford Wives" for just playing the way they do all the time. No let downs expected by San Antonio. Anyway...let's get this party started, and see if I can keep this up all game long. It might not be as comprehensive as the first round series, but I'll try to get as much in as I can.

LET'S GO SUNS!!!

1st Quarter

10:35 Tip goes to Parker. Nash immediately swipes it. KT's first try doesn't go, and I hope that's not a sign of things to come. Interesting note: Bowen is giving Nash noticeably more space. And Duncan gets called for the foul on the Leandro drive. LB needs to make his free throws this game. He's been bad from the field and at the line lately, but he gets both to go. Marion goes for the rebound off Duncan's missed, and Oberto pushes off. Foul favors the Suns. That's two.

9:22 Marion should NOT be shooting threes in this game. Another Duncan miss and WHOOOOAAAA!!!! NICE scoring drive by LB! Then Marion gets popped on Oberto's multipivot pump fake. Standard call, and he makes them both.

6:30 Nash goes long on the shot over Duncan. Suns are booing the Spurs every time, which is cool. Thomas strips Duncan, but TD recovers, and KT gets called for standing there. That's one for SA. Marion's working the glass as best he can, but he's going up against three Spurs. KT goes up against Bowen and misses, but Marion is fouled by Parker on the rebound. Then Trix gets loose inside and throws it down. Nice pass by Kurt. Suns are getting hurt by the lack of size, even with the volley ball effort by KT and Trix. Marion breaks free again, and the Suns are down only one point. 9-8 Spurs. Timeout Pop.

Someone want to call the Ritz and harrass Horry?

4:33 Parker gets the friendly road bounce on the leaner. Too bad. Marion takes Elson to the hole and it works out nicely for the good guys. Marion is everywhere as he steals it, but doesn't have the down court passing skills that Nash does, and it's a turnover after LB and TP roll on the floor. KT hits the open jumper YAY! Parker cannot guard Barbosa in the open court, and the refs support my observation. It's Parker's second. Nice.

2:55 Junior comes in, but it's Nash missing the floater. Good thing Marion is on the court...he stuffs it home, then comes back and hits a BIG three!!! D-3 on the Suns for some mysterious reason. Shawn Marion looks possessed, and that bodes well for the Suns. Finley misses the tech, and Pop goes small with Duncan as the only big on the floor. WOAH!!! THOMAS DRIVES AND SCORES, BLOWING BY DUNCAN!!! Big man's got a first step! Ball is deflected out of bounds on the next possession after Ginobili still can't score on Bell, and we get to hear the Pussycat Dolls get us all hot and bothered for Heineken as we go to the TV time out. 19-11 Suns.

I had other stuff written, but stupid IE closed by itself. Burke is in and Nash gets his first break with less than a minute left. Lotta nothing to talk about since the crash, so I'll try and remember what I wrote. I'll fail, but so long as everyone knows I had some nice stuff written. 24-11 Suns

Suns are shooting 9-21 for 43% shooting, but the Spurs are only 5-20. 15 rebounds to 8 for the Spurs is a VERY good sign. Good thing Pop went small.

2nd Quarter

9:18 Marion comes out and reminds TD how to use the glass. Nash still rests, and Parker comes in after LB's first foul. I don't understand why the crowd isn't chanting Dirty. Maybe it will just distract Kurt. G-Knob gets an open lane, then Raja nails a three. Ugh. Ginobili misses a desperation three, and Burke forgets that he's supposed to box out Oberto. He makes up for his transgression by fouling. Sit down, big fella. Nash comes back. Suns playing REALLY small with Trix at center. Still, it's effective. Junior misses a wide open three...not cool. Oberto tries to post LB, and he decides that it'll be easier just to run him over. Offensive foul. 28-17 Suns.

8:55 Junior misses the puppy that Steve so beautifully set up, but the refs bail him out with a foul on Elson. I don't know if it was a good call, yet, but I'll take it. Junior needs to hit these FTs to get his groove going. 1-2 isn't good enough. LB sends Parker to the floor for his 2nd foul, and the TV wants us to buy things. The energy was great coming out, but it's settled down ever so slightly. I think it works better with KT in there to balance the small line up D'Antoni's throwing at the Spurs. But he's old and needs his rest, so we can't have that for a full 48. If he gives us 30 minutes tonight, this should be cool. 29-17 Suns.

OK...the Elson foul on Junior was a good call. He was late and got some arm.

7:03 Parker gets 1 of 2 free throws, then Bowen kicks the ball out of bounds. Raja misses the sideways runner, KT gets the rebound to Junior who doesn't care about the three point line. Good deal, as he hits the two. Elson knocks Junior down under the basket as the Spurs score. It's wiped clean, and LB misses. Darn. Bowen no good on the long shot, and Suns are rebounding like mad. YEAH!!! Jones can't make up his mind in the corner, juking TP out of his socks, but when he finally does, he gets the three. FINALLY! Bell fouls Duncan, who gets one of two. 33-20 Suns.

5:09 Jones gets screwed on that loose ball, and the ball goes back to San Antonio after great scrambling D by Phoenix. Finley's desperation three doesn't like the rim, and Marion draws Elson's third foul on the blocking call. Suns favor, I think. OH LOOK! Tim Kempton's illegitimate son is in for SA, and Marion makes both freebies. Bell drives in, but Duncan can't be called for EVERY foul, can he? FINALLY Bonner gets the travel call, as his pivot foot was everywhere except where he planted it. Suns fans were waiting for that one. 35-22 Suns as corporate America seduces us again.

Funny how that first quarter just blitzed by, but the second is taking longer. As long as the Suns win, I don't are if it takes all night.

3:12 Dammit. Suns forget that a clock is on, and the overpassing kills them. Duncan finally gets glass, but he has to do it over the shorter marion. Speaking of the Matrix, that's another three off a nifty behind the back pass from Steve. Duncan used to be a volleyball player, but his window washing days are over for now. Great hustle by Barbosa, but it goes just off Nash's fingers out of bounds. Raja needs to get going through the lane. Forget this three point crap for now, Raja...attack the rack. Get your former swim team buddy in foul trouble. Another timeout? Already? OK. 38-24 Suns.

1:35 Thomas will NOT let Timmy score, and Barbosa makes it ahead of the pack. Nice fast break. Damn. A great block by KT on Parker wasted as the rebound mistakenly goes back to the Spurs. Duncan finally scores on Thomas, but it took transition. Suns have missed their last two and Duncan gets by KT again. It's a 20 second breather for Coach D'Antoni. Suns 40-30.

34.9 Yes. Nash scores over Duncan, but Bell is 1-6. Get it to the rack, my friend. Nash is just a wee bit too late to draw the charge on TD, and it's a pair of free throws coming. 1-2. Ginobili rushes out to Thomas on the perimeter, and I have no clue why. Neither does he, apparently, as he's popped for his first foul. Beauty of a 360 by Nash pass to Marion who scores off the runner. And Popovich calls a time out? With 34 seconds left in the half? Seriously? 44-31 Suns.

Wow. Marion is now 7-7 after that 1-4 start. He's got 20. Ginobili makes a move and scores, and Steve slows it down to leave one possession each. Bell still can't find the basket from long range, and G-Knob can't either as the buzzer sounds. 44-33 Suns. More to come after my break.

Halftime

Interesting: There seems to be a bit of a storm brewing outside. The wind is picking up, the shades are flying, and the doors are rattling. I wonder if it's related to November 4, 2001.

No halftime analysis, since I just got back. But I do have a funny thought. Matt Bonner is known by the ignorant Spurs, fans, and media as "The Red Rocket", presumably because he has red hair. But anyone who watches South Park religioously knows better. That's some sick shizzle, right there.

Wow. Marion already has 20-11 for Phoenix. Amazing. Kerr thinks Bowen can contain Shawn? Is he serious? Did he play basketball?

3rd Quarter

10:55 Let's hope that KT got some oxygen at half time. Offensive foul on Leandro? No complaints from the Suns...good deal. Duncan finally makes one over KT, but LB still can't hit. He's coming up short, so it's gotta be nerves. Nash misses the lay in after the foul ON BOWEN?!?! It's only his first foul, though. Odd. Nash makes both free throws, and it's 46-35 Suns.

10:37 Duncan drives and is promptly fouled by Thomas. Not exactly a good call, as TD's shoulder rams KT. He misses the first, but not the second. 46-36 Suns.

8:52 Argh. Thomas goes up and down, and forgets to shoot. Ginobili back doors on Raja. Ginobili misses a three badly, but the long rebound goes right to Duncan who scores on KT again. Hmmm...we're getting a bit sloppy. Nash double dribbles, but Bowen may have swatted it. Still goes against Nash, and Duncan is attacking KT hard. Spurs are on a 9-2 run, somehow, and it's Suns by 4, 46-42.

6:05 KT will NOT be denied, even in traffic, and he breaks the drought. Parker scores, then so does KT. Nash challenges Parker, and KT comes down with the miss. Ugh. LB can't score over Duncan. Finley gets an open three that barely grazes the rim, then Raja gets called for the charge on a moving Ginobili. Bad. Duncan rides KT's back, but gets away with it. But the ball goes off him out of bounds, then Nash promptly turns it over. Then the Spurs do, too, and we're back to an 8 point lead. Marion fouls Duncan on the double team. 52-44 Suns.

4:11 Good defense, but Finley still hits the three. Bowen then runs over Marion, and the crowd at USAC is happy. Say it with me, folks...DIRTY! DIRTY!! DIRTY!!! If Duncan keeps riding Thomas like that, he's going to have to stick a quarter in his ass. Bell misses AGAIN. This should be a run away, but the Suns are missing open looks. Then again, so are the Spurs as Barry misses. Now it's ugly. Pop agrees, and stops the clock. 52-47 Suns.

2:24 More of the same, still. Marion flashes in, but it's another Duncan block. Interesting that TD is guarding Marion now. Nash nails it. LB can't get a break as he picks up his fourth when Duncan elbows him out of the way. Crap call. Good thing G-Knob missed. YES! Bell finally makes a nice clean three. The crowd was behind him as he caught it, and that may help. Ginobili strips Bell, but no foul on the reach in. Marion counters by mugging Knob. Bell vents his frustration at the other end, then gets a T. 57-50 Suns.

NASH FOR THREE!!! And it's back to a ten point lead. Damn. Bowen actually makes a three. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! Ginobili gets rewarded for the flop and LB picks up his fifth foul. What a joke of a call. LB had the path, Knob rammed right into him. Bullshit. Then Bowen travels. Some nice passingall over the court, but Marion misses. Nash drives and scores while hanging in the air, and floating ever so gently across the lane. A different look from Hockey Nash we've seen lately. Then Knob beats the shot clock with a three. Nash drives, and Bowen gets popped for the free foul. His third, but he should be out already if LB is. 62-56 Suns.

So it seems that the league called the refs at half time and asked them what the hell they were doing. They respond by giving 5 free throws to the Spurs, and only 2 to Phoenix. Maybe they need to make it look realistic?

4th Quarter

10:24 How many times is Duncan going to hang all over Thomas and get away with it? KT misses, but Marion is there yet again. Bell ends up with another three. Maybe he's heating up? Let's hope so. Ginobili takes a few shuffle steps with Jones all over him, but it's a three second violation instead. Just as good. Wow. Thomas is showing his TCU days as he works the screen and roll with Nash, takes two steps in, then gets hammered by Duncan. He makes both free throws. 67-56 Suns.

9:21 Duncan gets swatted by KT, but Ginobili gets the rebound and jumps into Bell for the foul and gets two free throws. Why? Because the league makes no sense. Nash bounces the ball back door to Thomas, but Steve forgets that it's not LB and it rolls out of bounds beneath KT's reach. Finley manages a fade away in the lane, but barely. Thomas is getting aggressive to the rim, but he misses and Knob answers with a 3. KT needs to stick with the jumper for now. 67-63 Suns.

Suns are turning it over a bit too much, but a couple of those were dubious offensive fouls. We'll have to check the tape later.

7:06 Ton Loc implores us "Let's do it". Marion does, and gets the freebies thanks to a shove by Oberto. WHAT THE HELL?! Bowen hits a three after Raja gets laid out by Oberto with no call. Jones gets the ball underneath from LB, and it's good. Now Knob hits another three. DAMN! LB just CANNOT HIT! ANOTHER open three for him. Nash airs out a lay up, and there's a question whether or not Bowen fouled him again, which he did. Thank you, replay. 71-69 Suns.

5:42 Nash is in love with the behind the back, but Thomas just can't handle it. It's time for him to take over, and he responds with a three ball. At the 6:00 mark, it's Nash's time to take over the game. Ginobili can't understand why the refs actually called a foul on him. Thomas took a pae from Knob's book. KT then gets a basket on the other end, and-one, thanks to Duncan's third foul. 77-69 Suns.

3:10 Ginobili gets through, but it's excusable. It was a good play. So was Jones' play at the other end from Nash. Oh...NOW Finley hits threes. Then for some reason, Junior is called for a foul after BOWEN runs into him? This is sickening. FNALLY Nash gets the call as he gets to the spot just before an out of control Parker. Then Knob fouls Junior on the drive. Thomas back taps Junior's miss, and Nash gets it. But he misses the leaning three, and then Knob throws the ball away. Nash goes into traffic, Duncan blocks. No foul, of course. Duncan gets a few extra steps underneath, then Knob gets three free throws as Nash flies into him. Hes disgusted with himself. 79-77 Suns.

2:55 Geez. Thomas gets hacked by Duncan on the shot attempt, but the refs disagree. But it goes out of bounds, and it will be Suns ball. Suns are leading in every category, but still find themselves only up by 2. It makes no sense at first glance, but the Suns have 3 more turnovers (dubious) and five fewer free throw attempts (also dubious).

1:08 Parker ties it after the in bounds is taken away. Then Marion says "Gimme that lead back!" Duncan misses against Marion, but a late whistle indicates that Marion MUST have fouled. No way Duncan misses that close! he makes both free throws, and it's tied again. Nash passes up an open Marion, then misses the lay up. Then Knob gets called for a trip on Bell. It was a flop, but it's Ginobili. He should appreciate it. WHY DOES LB KEEP CHALLENGING DUNCAN?!?!?! Knob turns it over in transition. Time out...thank God. 81-81.

Bad pass by Nash means Marion misses, then Bowen hits a three. Then Marion inexplicably goes for a three with time on the clock. I'm out for now. I need to watch this. Some bad execution going on, and I wish Nash would just take over and win it. 84-81 Dirties.

Thank you, David Stern. Thank you for handing game five to San Antonio. Thank you for taking away our two best post players. Thank you for taking away Phoenix's chances to take the ball inside down the stretch. Thank you for taking away our clutch free throw opportunities. I hope you die a slow, torturous death starting tomorrow. And thank you for the favorable calls in the first half, only to switch it up in the second. Fuck the NBA.

Fix the Damn Rule Already

2007-05-16T15:16:00.000-07:00

In a brief moment of serenity, I came up with a fix for the future. The problem with the rule is that it lays out harsh punishment for minimal behavior with supposedly no room for interpretation (as bogus as that notion has proven to be). This whole mess can be cleared up by adding verbage that gives the league a choice in the matter, so Stern doesn't feel upset or saddened that he is "forced" to make such a tough ruling.

As it stands, leaving the "vicinity of the bench during an altercation" carries an automatic one game suspension and fine of $35,000. One is too harsh, the other is pocket change to a millionaire athlete.

The rule needs to be changed to state that leaving the bench will result in a one game suspension AND/OR a $200,000 fine or 10% of a player's earnings, whichever is less.

The "and/or" immediately gives the league room to maneuver in terms of deciding whether or not a player's action is actually bad enough to warrant a suspension. At the same time, for situations just like this, Charles Barkley, and Patrick Ewing, the players can still be punished rather harshly for breaking the rule, but not so much that it affects the entire team. And the fine itself carries weight because it penalizes a scrub as equally as a star.

I don't care if I'm making $12 million a year, a $200,000 fine is going to hurt and be on my mind if something bad happens. But if I'm making the league minimum, giving away 30% of my pay for one step is hardly fair, so the fine is proportional to his pay. $75,000 is just as harsh to a bench warmer as $200,000 is to a starter.

The whole idea is to prevent an entire team for being penalized by the actions of one or two players, and also prevents an offending team from receiving the greater benefit in an important game.

Is that fair? Is that correct?

*Update:

The very least the league could do is add the words "and causes an escalation" right after "vicinity of the bench". Imagine, a rule which allows for interpretation and judgement. Why has our judicial system not picked up on that?

Conversation Over Beef Stu

2007-05-16T02:09:00.000-07:00

"A precedent wasn't necessary here. The rule with respect to leaving the bench area during an altercation is very clear."

No, Stu, it is NOT "very clear". "Vicinity of the bench" can be interpreted in as many ways as "altercation". What about a verbal altercation? What about the angry glares that players sometimes give each other after a particularly hard foul - the ones that result in technical fouls for both players? What about the hash mark 28 feet from the baseline that players and coaches are not allowed to pass unless they are checking in at the scorers' table?

"(Horry) was suspended two games for flagrant fouling Steve Nash and also placing forearm and his elbow on shoulders of Raja Bell."

What about inciting the alleged altercation? Why no punishment for an act that resulted in players leaving "the vicinity of the bench"? And the physicality of the series has gotten progressively worse, evidenced by complaints about it from the Suns. Was Horry's action not an escalation in itself? Why was the Spurs organization not penalized for allowing a player to cause an altercation?

"Both Diaw and Amare are 20 to 25 fee away from their seats in the bench area going toward the altercation. In our minds, that is clearly away from the vicinity of their bench."

A-ha! In YOUR MINDS. In other words, you interpreted the rule in such a way that resulted in two Suns' suspensions. If it's such a hard and fast rule, why all the video review to decide whether or not Stoudemire and Diaw were "in the vicinity"?

"This is a very unfortunate circumstance. No one here at the league office wants to suspend players any game, much less a pivotal game in a second round of a playoff series but the rule however is the rule and we intend to apply it as consistently as we have in the past to achieve the purpose of the rule."

Like when you let the Sacramento Kings off the hook in 2003, when Rick Fox attacked Doug Christie in the tunnel? The Kings didn't know what was going on, their teammate could have been in real danger, no one on the Kings' bench knew that it was a Laker attacking their man. Still, they broke the rule. Oh, that's right. You already excused that at the top of this page. But I still have to ask...is it a rule or isn't it a rule? If you can excuse an entire team for extenuating circumstances, why not two Suns players who did nothing wrong, and who were sticking up for their teammate as if he were Doug Christie?

"While (Duncan) should not have been on the game court, there was no altercation occurring in that time he was off the bench."

We need to work on your concept of "altercation". The only reason those players ran down court after the incident was that two officials were standing right there and told them to. The same officials who prevented the later incident from escalating.

"Both players (Diaw and Stoudemire) stood and then made their ways toward the altercation, which occurred on the court. They did not remain in the bench area as the remaining players did."

Which remaining players? The Spurs? Pat Burke and Sean Marks? To whose standards are you holding Diaw and Stoudemire?

"Everything we do here at the league office is up for re-evaluation. If a change is warranted going forward, we will take a look at perhaps tweaking the rule."

Well, we appreciate that. You can't even throw Suns fans a bone and say that, yes, the rule is terrible in this case, so we will investigate rewording it WITHOUT OUTSIDE PRESSURE? You insult the intelligence of every NBA fan with your use of the word "if".

"(The immediate vicinity of the bench) is around the bench area -- close by. In the case of Diaw and Stoudemire, I could not describe them as being close to the bench."

Again, we're dealing with an interpretation of vague wording in a rule that you describe as clear. Now can you tell us what it means to be "close by"? What would you describe as "close to the bench"? Just for the sake of clarification, of course.

"The rule is clear. It's a bright line. Historically, if you break it, you get suspended regardless of what the circumstances are."

Unless you are the Sacramento Kings or San Antonio Spurs in game one (more on that in the days to come).

"Francisco Elson, when he went for the dunk and fell over the Phoenix player, that's what he did. He dunked, he fell over. Both players got up. There was no altercation and they run down to the other end of the court. In the other situation, there were confrontations between multiple players."

Did you watch the video? Did you not see Elson get in Jones' face before the officials broke it up? Interesting way you have of backing up your game officials. You didn't notice their work on that play, then you undermined their efforts at the end of the game. How noble.

"The purpose of the rule is to prevent the escalation of these types of altercations and then in turn protect the healthy and safety of our players."

Then the rule did not come into play, and it should never have been implemented. There was no escalation. The referees did a fine job of ensuring everyone's safety.

"If it's a rule that needs to be revisited, we're open to revisiting it but right now the rule is very clear."

Yeah, you said that already. Right after the part where you felt compelled to interpret the rule as far as where Diaw and Stoudemire were standing.

"I've not seen a player report in quite that way (in relation to Stoudemire's claim that he was checking in)."

You've also never seen a player resting on the bench without warmups. If Amare was not preparing to check in, then he would have been wearing his warm ups and had ice taped to his knees. Regardless of Stoudemire's story, it is your duty to give the player the benefit of the doubt when the truth is not clear and the excuse is plausible. Would you have felt better if he simply said that he was checking on Nash? Well, you didn't accept it from Diaw (he's French, ya know - not exactly known for being in attack mode), so why should you accept anything short of divine intervention on Amare's behalf?

"This is a very unfortunate circumstance but the rule is the rule. It's not a matter of fairness. It's a matter of correctness. This is the right decision at this point in time."

Yeah. The U.S. Government said something similar when Japanese-Americans were placed in internment camps in the Arizona desert during World War II. Or perhaps the military draft is a better example. It wasn't fair that certain privileged members of our country were pardoned from active duty, but it was the right thing to do because, God knows, those poor working class slobs won't amount to anything anyway. Better they die in war than struggle to make ends meet back home.

Conclusion:

It is not a fair rule, but it IS a rule, and it is very clear on the actions that require punishment (except that whole nasty interpretation business). Precedent wasn't necessary because the league already sidestepped the rule before, so it wouldn't be "right" to compare the incidents. It is only an altercation when more than two players are involved, and the referees don't maintain control before anything starts (does a flagrant 2 foul count as starting it?), or when the San Antonio Spurs remain on the bench. Finally, we're all a bunch of brain dead carcasses filling seats and tuning in, so you'll decide at a later date whether the rule needs to be revisited. The fact that the vast majority of poll data among NBA fans so far (between 75% and 90%) suggests that the suspensions were a bad decision, but the league is still not quite sure until its officials take their summer vacations.

Ladies and gentleman, we are dealing with a true jackass of all trades.

Stern Injustice

2007-05-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

It is better to be predictably stupid than surprisingly wise.

I have declined to comment on the "racial bias among NBA referees" story for good reason. It is the worst kind of research in that the conclusions were drawn based almost purely on speculation (they didn't know which official called which foul on which player, or whether those fouls were legitimately called). To their credit, the researches did ask the league for more comprehensive statistics, but David Sterned declined. Instead, the league performed its own analysis based on those "confidential" files (presumably to protect the referees' privacy or whatever) over the three year period between 2001 and 2004.

I learned that fact originally while watching a first round game between New Jersey and Toronto, during which Stern was interviewed by the national broadcaster (I don't recall whether it was TNT or ESPN...sorry). His indignant response struck me as odd for someone claiming to be confident in his league's findings.

When we have gone to the expense of saying you raised a fair subject, let us analyze it ourselves and may we share the data with you and obviously they had a deadline because the information was so fresh it ended in 2003. They had to rush into publication. Why? Because they wanted to get good play on the front page of The New York Times. We're not buying it.

-NBA Commissioner David Stern

He went on to say that the whole story, the way the New York Times just came out with it during the playoffs, was a "bum rap." Sure, he said that the study conducted by Justin Wolfers and Joseph Price was "wrong," but he stopped short of saying how or why. He never once spoke to the obvious invalidity of the study. He never once offered up his league's own findings.

He did eventually (supposedly) release a copy of the league's racial bias study to the researchers, who immediately proclaimed that it did not disprove their claim. The problem with that is that it is their job to prove a claim based on empirical evidence, and not the league's job to disprove anything. Still, the researchers never said that the league's study proved anything. Basically, the findings were inconclusive to the point that they helped neither side.

I only bring all this up because it points to a dark trend coming from Stern's office. It is right up there with the fines for owners, players, and coaches who openly question the officiating in the league. It is no different than his "I have the final say" attitude on matters such as Amare Stoudemire's and Boris Diaw's one-game suspensions for game five of the Western Conference Semifinals against the Spurs.

David Stern is more interested in protecting the "integrity" of the league, its rules, and its officials than he is in pursuing justice. When confronted with questions about the league's policies, Stern bristles like a porcupine in a wind storm, as if he'd rather throw darts than recognize his environment. This is a man who knows that he is wrong, but does not know how to fix what he has done wrong.

(In the world we live in today, how can anyone stand so firm on such an inescapably deteriorating situation so much that it endangers the integrity of the organization/community/government?)

I have watched the replays of the game four incident as many times as anybody, and I see something that only a few fellow bloggers and message board addicts have noticed. Stoudemire and Diaw moved from the bench on the foul. As soon as Robert Horry slammed Steve Nash into the scorers' table, as soon as they heard the thud, as soon as they heard the crowd collectively wince, Stoudemire and Diaw jumped from their spots and headed directly toward Steve Nash. Leandro Barbosa had run down court toward the bench, then turned back when he saw Nash hit the deck.

(Here's proof)

(Nash has just hit the floor after bouncing off the table, D'Antoni has just gotten to him, and Amare is already on the court.)

(Nash is still on the floor, D'Antoni looks up at Robert Horry. Coach hasn't been restrained by Steve Javie, and Amare has taken another step. Phil Weber is keeping tabs on Stat with his left hand.)

Boris took two steps and turned around, never touching the inbounds area of the court. Stoudemire moved around the crowd and made it to the coach's line where Marc Iavaroni stopped Amare's progress. Barbosa was back on the other side of half court backing up Raja Bell, who was by now coming straight up into Horry's grill. THAT was the start of the altercation, and Diaw and Stoudemire were both corralled before it got to that point. Steve Nash hadn't even sprung from the floor yet, and Amare and Boris were back with the bench.

What law's letters spell out a punishment for that? EVERY player in the NBA will jump from their seat on a hard foul to one of their teammates, especially their leader. There is no punishment for that. EVERY NBA player stands just inside the sideline on the playing surface when their team is on the other side of the court during a tightly contested match up. There is no punishment for that, yet that is all Diaw and Stoudemire did. Stoudemire was over the sideline before the foul occurred, and his and Diaw's first movements were toward Nash lying along the scorers' table.

Yet this is an instance where, despite the excellent job of averting any court chaos by the three officials on duty, David Stern felt that the hammer needed to be lowered as hard as ever.

Why? Because Amare Stoudemire had only days before questioned the integrity of the officiating? Because he called the league's choir boys "dirty"? Because Amare Stoudemire is a rather dark shade of brown?

(Hey...if he was so defensive and oversensitive about the racial bias findings, then it stands to reason that he is trying to hide a very real problem with himself.)

But I'm not calling Stern a closet racist. I'm merely suggesting that there may be more to all of this than we all know. One might even suggest that the suspension of Joey Crawford was a method of preemptive plausible deniability. Even if it isn't, it sure helps his case.

See, fans? I punish referees!

See, fans? I hear your pleas!

See, fans? I am a fair arbiter!

What's next? He'll tell us that he found weapons of mass destruction buried beneath a bunker in Baghdad?

The problem with this whole situation with the suspensions is that it is too late for Diaw and Stoudemire. The rule is in place, and they technically did violate it. But instead of making a rational, common sense decision, David Stern fell back on the old stand by that "precedent has to be maintained". This is how it has been handled, so this is how it should be handled.

Too bad the rule does not state that what those players did is actually grounds for suspension. Stu Jackson reportedly argued that the players were "25 feet" from the bench. For perspective, realize that an NBA court is 90 feet long. The distance from baseline to the time line measures 45 feet. The hash mark that indicates the substitution area measures 28 feet from the baseline (even with the three point arc's pinnacle), and the end of the bench lies approximately 13 feet towards the baseline from that mark.

That is where Diaw and Stoudemire were turned around. Diaw took two full steps before turning, and he was standing at the midcourt end of the bench. Stoudemire was behind him and standing over the sideline. Neither player made it even close to midcourt, which would be 25 feet from the bench. Jackson obviously chose to measure from the baseline, where the 12th man sits.

But they moved beyond the end of the bench, so they were technically not in the immediate vicinity. So they "had" to be suspended, even if it meant an unfair advantage for the Spurs in the forthcoming game five of the series.

Stern and Jackson talk as if the rule is written in stone, the meaning clear and concise. But there is a lot of room for interpretation in the words "altercation" and "immediate vicinity" (although "during" is relatively specific). That is how a good rule is written. It may be interpreted at any time in any reasonable way by an arbiter of justice, so that changes in philosophy and public attitude may be accounted for when making a ruling - or even if it's just a simple judgement call that needs to be made.

This incident screams for interpretation. This situation could not be handled to the "letter of the law" because it did not fit within that description, nor is the "letter of the law" clear on a circumstance such as this - an incident in which players were already on the floor before the altercation started, then moved immediately upon realization of the situation . That means that precedent, as ignorant and out-dated as it has been for several years, should have been avoided.
But David Stern, with his almighty power of the commissioner, decided that the integrity of the game - HIS game, it seems - would be better served with Diaw and Stoudemire sitting at home for game five. That is the epitome of stupidity.

The dark shroud of injustice has fully engulfed the NBA landscape with Stern's unreasonable yet predictable decision to suspend two players who did nothing wrong. His actions (suddenly cancelling his trip to Phoenix on the day of game five) and words paint an ugly portrait of the state of the NBA. Stern is more interested in expanding the league to China than he is in correcting a problem that affects his fans at home.

Still, is anyone surprised?